Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

while i was reading the third stepping stone i realized something....it was describing exactly how i fealt and the troubles i was going through...i even considered giving up AGAIN on this idea until i read about gods grace. im not perfect,nor am i ever going to be...what i have to do is learn from my mistakes so the dont repeat themselves over and over and over...like they have been...the problem is that i have always run from them or blamed them on god, my parents, the police, my wife and on and on....i never took responsibility for my actions not ever.to make things simple for myself so i dont over think it i believe that taking responsibility basically means doing the right thing...whatever the situation might be...and if i for some reason i fail to make a correct choice i must immediately address it and do whatever i can to correct that wrong...i think for a guy like me i might need to go back and repeat this once ive finished...and thank you all for just being here...i started to think people like the ones ive met here didnt exist

oh and i dont think i had a horrible day for no reason yesterday...it was because like the replies on my first post about this step said...satan is a punk...and he tried everything in his power to keep me from hearing about gods grace. i had completely forgotten everything i was taught by my family and the church as a child and he wanted it to stay that way. i went to a church today on my own for the first time since i was a teenager...i didnt go in to the sevice as i still feel like im unworthy to step into the house of god...but i got the pastors phone number off the directory and i plan on calling him soon.i see now that satan has had a firm grip on me for many years now, and all the terrible things i did,without making an excuse for my actions,were essentially inspired by him....its freeing to know that evil did not simply spring from my heart but was placed there by something else...its even better knowing that there is a god willing to forgive me for those terrible things i have done,and on top of that if i listen and follow his word, i NEVER have to live like that again...i have hope...for the first time in so many years and its all thanks to this website...i was searching for something to give purpose to my life and when i found this place i was skeptical...but after only 4 days i know without a doubt that i was meant to live the life i have for a reason that is beyond my understanding and that god has given me an opportunity to redeem myself...all i have to do is take it

You are soooooo heading in a good direction!! I loved reading all the hope in your post and how you want God's grace. God is good to forgive us and love us no matter what. You are stronger than you think you are so keep going. Call that pastor, go inside the church on Sunday and let God speak to you. Dont let satan feed you all that negative stuff about yourself. You know what the path is like with that punk as your guide. Can you just imagine how wonderful you path is going to be with God as your guide!! Keep going on the steps and remember many of us here are praying for you.