Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

We learned about grace and our garden. We learned grace is about forgivrness. I have no problems forgiving others, it is forgiving myself that is so difficult. I was physically abused as a child by my father and I forgave him and repaired the relationship. I still get afraid and revert to that little girl when I think there is a situation that might make him angry, even though I know he is saved. I know he won't hurt me but I still almost wet myself with one of his stern looks. So I know I have to work on my forgetting. I am working with a therapist on forgiving myself. I can't seem to get past what I have done and the I am sorry's that I have said and say don't seem to be enough for me. In the past I would buy my way out of my guilt and that always made me feel better. Now I am on Disability and can't afford to buy my way out of my guilt. I try hard not to do anything that would make God ashamed. My preacher said last Sunday that we must ask for frogiveness daily. That troubles me some because I try so hard to be good. I guess that is the part of the roots being not anchored that we discussed in day 2. I will ask for forgiveness daily to be forgiven of our sins, if that is what it takes for this Cinderella to work her garden and get her crown. Pray for me as I work hard on these things.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyZ-lKpWW5E

The above is a short message from Joseph Prince on Forgiveness. Jesus said it is finished. He has forgiven you once and for all...that means past, present and future. If we have to ask for forgiveness daily...then it's not finished... Otherwise then it would be us doing the work..His work is complete and finished and YOU are free!

May God heal you and your emotions daily...I am proud of you!

ING

I think one of the problems we all have is forgetting. We get forgiveness from God, and we forgive ourselves, but no matter how hard we try we can't forget. We are not perfect like God who does forget. The enemy uses this to cause us to doubt our forgiveness and salvation. There are things that come into my head, from a long long time ago, that have been forgiven and forgotten about by everyone else. Yet all these many years later a memory flashes back and the enemy pounces on it and lies to us about it.When that happens now I immediately replace it with the truth: I'm forgiven, it's forgotten, God loves me.


Gonna take some time Cinderella...everyday replace the lies with the Truth

And the truth will set you free

Hi, Danty. Been following your posts here and wanted to say that Im so glad the Lord Jesus led you here..especially to the counseling steps. In the short distance youve walked in these steps, there is already a difference in your heart. I know there is so much the Lord wants to show you.

Sister, guilt wont allow you to walk in the freedom God has for you in Him. No amount of beating yourself up, going over and over mistakes youve made...will make up for or erase our pasts...not in our minds, anyway. We have to remember that God's grace isnt about what we have done to "make up for it", but what He has done to extend that Grace to us. Its not by our works that He is gracious or loving, but because of His nature...who He is. Its hard for us to picture Who He really is because its not what we are used to seeing in our carnal minds. His grace and forgiveness is completely complete. There are no limits to His forgiveness when we ask Him to forgive us. He is not out to condemn you or to find fault with you other than to show you where He wants to heal you. Nothing you have ever done or will ever do will catch Him off guard..so, if we cant surprise Him with our actions, how can He be disappointed in us? He knows every step we will ever take and is waiting for us to come to Him for healing from what those sins have done to us on the inside.

As for the memories..and what took place with your dad..sis, its gonna take some time and alot of healing..its a daily thing. Its not gonna happen over night. God could speak the word and you would be healed, but He will use this to minister to someone through you, who is has not been able to see any hope.

God bless you in this. You are not alone. Praying for you through each step.

in Jesus,
love momo

((((((Danty)))))) I know it's felt like it to you, but even if you had all the money in the world ... you never were able to buy your way out of the guilt you feel or felt :hug: the only one who could do that is Christ and he has done that for you by dying on the cross. It wasn't for his own sins; but to pay the price of your sin (and mine, and everyone else who chooses to receive Him). I know you know this .... just felt maybe you needed that reminder the other thing that comes to mind is this:

Romans 1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Hi danty how is it going. I didnt quite know how to get started as far as writing in our journals but I finally did. I completed the first 2 days but did not write in the journals because I didn't know how. My problem is that I can't seem to kick the smoking habit. I try but every day I seem to go back. I truely understand God's grace but it seems like I abuse it by smoking everyday. I am a highschool Spanish teacher and coach so I am on vacation. So you can imagine how boring it gets. I also am taking meds for anxiety and mild depression so that adds to the situation. Somehow I feel that God really is mad at me. I have promised Him time and time again that I would stop but time and time again I fail. And this makes me feel so unworthy. I sometimes feel as if He has grown tired of me. I know that I have to do my part and he will do the rest. My wife also smokes and that makes it soooo much harder. I I have been saved now for about 31 years and am very familiar with christianity but I want a real relationship with God. I understand the garden concept very well and it makes sense. I have not weeded it in such a long time it has gotten really bad. I also understand God's grace and truely believe in it. but somehow I feel like I have abused it so much I am beyond forgiveness. I guess just like you I can't seem to forgive myself.

Dear scedillo since You too are on the garden path I know that with Gods love and the prayers of our CO family anything is possible. Praying for you...... dantyriverside

Hello Danty,
i can relate to you how you said you can forgive others and you have a harder timeforgiving your self i pray it gets easyer for you,your takeing the wright path to get started on forgiving your self,i beat my self on that aot my self the guilt is lifting and it will be lifting off you to i speak that by faith for you,lots of love and blessings for you as you grow and heal
and become a witness to others that are seeking healing and restoration In Christ Jesus amen.