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Stepping Stone 2- The Garden Gate

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 11:43 am
by krystal
I have decided to take THE PATH because I have a self image and love acceptance problem.
I cry almost daily because I do not feel good enough....physically, mentally, in every way.
I am 5'6'' 120 pounds, blonde hair, blue eyes, dimples.....I know i am not ugly by any means,
but when i look in the mirror i simply feel worthless, less than, and I am comparing myself to the world's expectations of what i should be.
Looking at the victorias secret models, movie stars, and i just don't fit the bill.
I am with an absolutly amazing guy who loves me just the way i am, we have been together for 3 years.
I know he would never ask me to change a single thing about me, he loves me just the way i am and i know that.
But i cannot accept it.
I feel like i need to be the "industry definition" of a woman, and i cannot be.
I cannot accept that he would love me the way i am. That i could possible have a guy like him to faithful to me and accept me and adore me and love me.
It just sees impossible.
I don't feel good enough or worthy of it.
The root of these issues i clearly know and I have use THE PATH before for the reason. My mothers ex husband molested me when i was younger and every since then i have been full of quilt, shame, hate, anger, and mostly all at myself.
I used THE PATH for that before and i am proud to say i have successfully forgiven him for what he did, i hold no anger towards him, i only pray for him.
But that one problem created another, and another, and so on.
So now i am tackleing each one of them one at a time.
This is my biggest problem, self image and love acceptance.
For anyone who reads this and comments, thank you so much for your support and prayers.
I am truly grateful and thankful, i cannot wait to see how God transforms me into the person i and He wants me to be.
God bless.

Re: Stepping Stone 2- The Garden Gate

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:50 pm
by ciny
Hi krystal
congratulatios on taking the first step in your healing journey *Clap* i have to tell you that you are worthy and good enough in the eyes of God. i pray you see your inner beauty, the way God sees you and the greater love he has for you. A friend told me a while back to write a note on my bathroom mirror that says i am beautiful and i like me. It has helped alot. i pray you see yourself beautiful inside and out as you begin to heal love God bless *hug* *ThisMuch*

Re: Stepping Stone 2- The Garden Gate

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:39 pm
by Dora
Wow does that sound so familiar! I almost could of wrote those words about myself.

I'm glad you are back taking more layers off as I've heard it called. :) I'm glad you recognize that there are layers of issues and one by one they are peeled away as He refines you.

I remember when I couldn't look in the mirror and say Jesus loves me. Was wondering if you can? He has brought me to the place where when I do this the little girl inside wakes up and smiles. I pray the little girl with you knows how much Jesus loves her, if she doesn't I pray she finds out soon. It sure does make a lot of that other stuff less important when one realizes how very very very much they are loved. An amazing love that is gentle and never ending. The best gift anyone could ever offer and it was offered to you by Jesus. Wow! Amazing isn't He?

He created you perfectly beautiful and you are still perfectly beautiful despite what anyone has done or said.

Those models have nothing over you.

Re: Stepping Stone 2- The Garden Gate

PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2011 8:38 am
by krystal
Thank you so much.
You asked if I can look myself in the mirror and say Jesus loves me.
No, not confidently.
I know He does but it seems so "story time" and even though i know He brought me through all the stuff i went through, i just feel like its the words i'm accepting and not the truth of it.
It's so hard to put a REAL meaning on something that feel so....IMAGINARY.
You know, like believing in what you cannot see.
I do believe, but its hard for me to truly understand it and accept it as real life.