Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

My name is Steven, and if read my previous post called, "I need Help", then you know what I am going through. If not, I will give you the brief of what is going on. About a year ago, this girl and I were dating and she suddenly broke up with me and two weeks later started dating my best friend. It really hurt me and I told him that I did not like it, however even though he broke up with her once because he said he was sorry that he hurt me, he went back with her. It really hurt me and brought up a lot of anger and jealousy issues. It hit a boiling point a few days ago, and thanks to a friend on Evony I have started on this path. What happened two days ago, I went on an IM and cussed them both out and I called my ex some really nasty things, that I will not repeat on here. I will keep it rated G here. Also, I brought up some of my friend's past issues, and it was just an issue of me wanting to get revenge and letting them feel the pain that I felt. I know now that is all that it was. I so deeply hurt by being hurt that I spitefully backlashed and hurt them back. For a second there, it felt real good to let them have it, however soon the guilt and fear set in. My ex girlfriend said she might be pressing charges against me for harrassment, and to make matters worse, her father is out county coroner. I tried to cover it up by saying that I was drunk that night.
Now, I am ashamed and I lost two friends because of it, and now I dont even know if I am welcome at my church anymore because of what I have done, and the shame is too much for me to go back. I want to go back to my old church, but I may have to go to another one. I would like to ask you guys what should I do. I went through the first step in this 14 step program, and I really want it to work. I am going to apologize to them soon and I will post what they say to me, even though they both expressed that they want nothing of me anymore, and yet I cannot blame them, however deep in my heart, I know that it is wrong. They are Christians too and I know that I hurt them, but I read on the 14 day step page that friendship is based on trust and that it will overcome any adversity. Was this the result of a lack of trust on my part or the part of everyone? Or is this just a ruse that Satan wants to try to get me to become bitter? I want to be their friends again, but I cannot stand seeing them together after my best friend said he will never go back with her and did multiple times. I can forgive him, but I cannot forget it. What should I do? Many times, I just wanted to hurt him physically, I wanted to show him my pain physically, but I am not much of a fighter, but in this last month, I have seen that nature boiling up. I am not usually like this, and this is a road that I am not used to go down. Do you suppose that God is showing me the darkest parts of me, or showing me my abolute bottom so he can build me back up stronger than ever? Sometimes I cannot understand God's ways, but I know his ways are just and good.

Hi again hun I see you are beginning the counseling steps today...it's 14 days and if you work them one at a time daily...you will begin to see changes in how you feel and how you see yourself and others. Right now you have a lot of hurt built up...and you do need to forgive and let go. See as long as you continue to hold on to the memories of how they hurt you and how you hurt them...the enemy of your soul will find ways to use that against you...such as the anger and aggression you are feeling towards them at this time. God is love...and He wants us to love all others...even those who hurt us...kind of hard to do at times...but think of this...God loves us even when we do bad things. And God also forgives us when we ask...once you ask your friends to forgive you....then it places the burden on them to forgive you...and you cannot control what they may or may not say...but what you can control is knowing that you have done your part to try and make things right.

I'm so glad you are reaching out to God...and that is more important than anything...you mentioned not being able to go back to your church...I just want you to know that in the chatroom here at the Oasis on Sunday nights they have COOL Church...it's online interactive church with the members here. It's here if you want to check it out.

I'm praying for you Steve. May God Bless you on this journey of renewing your soul with Him as your guide.

Take care hun

Thank you so much Angel, I am so glad that I am in that alliance with you, if Naddy hadn't forcefully taken me to TOG and then invited me to Vanir, I would never had the chance to turn my life around, and to think, God used an online game to turn me around, I can see a little bit of what God is doing here, he taking my bad and turning it into good. I am soon going to text my ex and my friend an apology, I know they may not accept it, but I know that it will be a load off of me, and I know that it will show that I care and that I am remorseful for what I did. Thank you Angel for helping me in my time of need, you are a great friend and I hope God blesses you in a way that you have never felt before.

God works in mysterious ways my friend. How are you doing on step 2? Have you read it today?

I just did, and I just posted it. Thank you