Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

why is it that EVERYthing is such a competition with me? why do i feel a need to be better than everyone at everything? i work so hard a defeating this all the time. but i still feel it. i asked this in chat, too. maybe it has something to do with being the oldest, but my only sibling is 8 years younger. im fighting the perfectionist thing, too. i KNOW nobody's perfect. i still fight it tho. by fighting i mean i feel it crawling up on me and i hear the lies and start listening and then start giving it to God...at some point will the hearing it step go away?

oh and i discovered that leaving early to get where i need to go has no bearing on the need to be there in a certain time frame...i still hafta get wherever it is as quickly as i can regardless of the fact that im in no hurry.

Hey sorta...I think it really boils down to a need for attention...you feel like you need to be first so "people" will see what you have done...and give you some sort of acknowledgement for your "pride"...but as we know the Bible says that He who is first will be last...and He who is last will be first....so it's ok to stop being so hard on yourself...relax...and take life as it comes...enjoying each moment for what it is and not trying to make it into something more...because being last is actually a blessing at times

luv ya

mlg wrote:I think it really boils down to a need for attention...you feel like you need to be first so "people" will see what you have done...and give you some sort of acknowledgement for your "pride"

if i beat the pride down a bazillion times a day, does it go away eventually? cuz i really hate it. i dont want it. i am nothing. i am the lowest of the low...what do i have to be prideful of? why then if i do something do i have a need to be noticed for it? is this why i'm so afraid to do anything? because i really hate attention on me. and then if i do something and it does turn out good then i get prideful of it? ugh...my brain hurts. lookie at what i did and it was good cuz so n so said so. is this why i hate compiments? what do you say to a compliment? i say not me but God in me. but inside i fight it a little while...

im just trying to figger some things out about me. this is one. rage is the other. sometimes i just wanna quit fighting it. sometimes i do and later wish i tried harder.

mlg wrote:....so it's ok to stop being so hard on yourself...relax...and take life as it comes

workin on this one day at a time

thank you mlg. much love sis

Hello Sortamorta

God bless you this day.

I love you honesty. Woooohoooo!!! And, further proof of the work The Holy Spirit is doing in you.

So, He reveals things to us, and we see it, and are maybe a little disgusted by what is revealed, but, if we continue to trust God to make the change in us...wooooooohoooooo!!! Initially, we see it, but it feels like it is such a part of us that it is impossible to change/fix, but He is the one changing/fixing us -- we're just willingly offering ourselves as a pliable piece of clay to be remolded.

Competition is such a "human" thang, taught to us very early on by the world. And, some of us learned to thrive on it...it felt good to win.

In the Gospel of John, I always get a giggle out of John's account of when Mary tells the apostles/disciples that Jesus was no longer in the tomb. ...
John 20:4 So they (John and Peter) ran both together: and the other disciple (John) did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre.



John just had to mention that he outran Peter. It cracks me up.

But notice...verse (5) And he stooping down, and looking in, saw the linen clothes lying; yet went he not in. (6) Then cometh Simon Peter following him, and went into the sepulchre, and seeth the linen clothes lie, ...

I realize that John may have stopped short of going into the sepulchre, allowing Peter, the elder of the two, to go in first, but...still, there is still that possibility of the other, huh? -- that he was a little scared to do so -- but, he did outrun Peter.

And remember the various accounts in The Bible about how the apostles and disciples argued over who was the greatest? They competed a lot. Mark 9:34, Luke 9:46, Luke 22:24.

Thank You Lord for revealing to Sortamorta some of the things You are changing in her.

Woooooooohoooooooo!!!

God bless and keep you, Sortamorta.
Love,
Mack

Hello again sorta...I myself have struggled with pride many times...as I think we all have.

Pride is a booger...it just creeps up...it's like the need to have people see what you are doing...but then someone says...wow you did a great job...and then it's hard to swallow that compliment because you know that you didn't do it so God could have the glory...but so that you could...does that make sense? I've been there...wanting others to notice me...instead of the Him in me...truly a battle at times..when the enemy wants to use it against you..but I know one of the counseling steps has a chart...and we can offset Pride I believe with courage...not being afraid...but being humble enough to check our own fruits from time to time...and making sure that what we are doing is not for self glory but for His glory...

I think I have a suggestion...each time you make a decision to be competitive in something...or to rush out the door in a hurry to get somewhere...how about stopping a second and asking yourself...for what reason am I doing this?...if the answer is something for you...and not God...then maybe you should ask yourself...what would God want me to do?...and then follow His direction instead of your own.

luv ya

Mackenaw wrote:In the Gospel of John, I always get a giggle out of John's account of when Mary tells the apostles/disciples that Jesus was no longer in the tomb. ...
John 20:4 So they (John and Peter) ran both together: and the other disciple (John) did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre.

i never read that verse that way...as a race of who got there first.

Mackenaw wrote:if we continue to trust God to make the change in us...wooooooohoooooo!!! Initially, we see it, but it feels like it is such a part of us that it is impossible to change/fix, but He is the one changing/fixing us -- we're just willingly offering ourselves as a pliable piece of clay to be remolded.

so it does got better? the recognition that its happening must come faster and we get better at recognizing it. and as we seek Holy Spirit with it when the gobbledygoop clouds are heads He honors our diligence in seeking Him first? this is what i think i understand. that we offer ourselves in a moldable state and He does the fixing because of our moldability.

...thank you mack for yer encouraging words. love you

mlg wrote:does that make sense? I've been there...wanting others to notice me...instead of the Him in me...truly a battle at times

it does make sense. i truly try for this not to be the case. i am better than 25 years ago or so. a lotta humbling since then. but still maybe even subconciously or when the praise comes maybe subconsciously i want to accept it for me and then resent that its not mine to accept or something...

mlg wrote:each time you make a decision to be competitive in something...or to rush out the door in a hurry to get somewhere...how about stopping a second and asking yourself...for what reason am I doing this?...if the answer is something for you...and not God...then maybe you should ask yourself...what would God want me to do?...and then follow His direction instead of your own.

awesome! i will try this. in everything. i will forget so i needa make a chart or something to remind myself.

thanks again sis