Christianity Oasis Forum

[Carrissa]

Throughout the years, I have been back and forth a lot with my walk with God. I would be all into reading the word, going to church, and praying throughout the day, then eventually when more problems would accure or my family wasn't changing with me, I would fight for awhile and then give up on the fight. Through these times of in and out situations, God would reveal things to me that I was doing. Each time I would turn back to him, he would give me a new revelation of who I am and what was really going on with me and the situation at hand. I would then get back on fire for God and start over in my walk. The last time that I turned back to him, I had so much more faith then ever before. I could see all of the times throughtout my life, when I was serving him and even when I wasn't, that he was there helping me through. I said that I wasn't going to let anything or any situation bring me down, that I trusted God and he had my back. He has blessed me so much even when I didn't deserve it. This last time, he had healed me from cronic pain in my back from a car wreck that I was in, in 2006. I suffered for three years with it. He blessed me with a house, a job and I new that I wasn't going to turn my back on him this time. Well, time went on and I was talking to God throughout each day, I was trying to get my family on the same page as me, fighting to open their eyes and see things spiritually. My husband through all of this was having a problem of his own, which also caused me a lot of hurt and pain. He was in a motorcycle wreck as well in 2008, at the medication that we were both taking for our cronic pain is highly addictive. He got addicted to it. So, from 2008 to now, I have been struggling with his addiction, which causes a lot of pain and hurt. I never knew what was going to happen next and I prayed, I would talk to my husband to try to open his eyes and get help. I fought and fought to stay on task with my walk with God, I even told God that I trusted him and that I just don't know what to do anymore. My emotions were all over the place, but gradually I went down and gave up again. I could see the devil had a hold on him and it wasn't that I didn't believe that God could change him, it was more about, would my husband allow and recieve God, he was in to deep and so blinded by his addiction, he became someone I didn't know and for that fact he didn't know either. He stopped caring about me and the kids, he would put us in financial debt, he would fight with me on a daily bases and just verbally and emotionally drain me.I became alone, fearful of the unknown, angry, frustrated, used, minipulated and just all of the above. I tried to help him in so many ways and yet I could not. My husband was gone. He always put me first and express his love for me. He always had a kind heart towards others and his family. This wasn't him and I didn't know what to do, I thought about divorce, but I knew that it wasn't the right thing to do and I just couldn't give up on him all the way.
One day he did something towards me and I made the stand to kick him out. After he left, I was figuring that he would see what he was losing and would straighten up because before all of this, we never even argued. Instead, things got worse and now he is facing charges for armed robbery. I have been so in shock sense it has happened that I can't grasp this situation. Now that his mind is straight, and God is showing him what he has done with his life so far and how he has taken advantage of what he has, I am still scared of the outcome of all of it. He needs help with his addiction, not just sitting in jail. I have been trying to get closer to God,but I have been feeling like I am in bondage still. Right before I started writing this journal, God revealed to me that I still have anger issues, even though I am seeming normal outwardly. Now I believe that I still have a lot of the emotion that I have been having before this happened. I don't know, but I do know that I am still feeling lost in certain area's and sometimes I just break down and cry out of the blue.
So, I know that I need prayer, my family needs prayer and I pray that we all can come back together as a family and serve the lord whole heartedly.[/color][/color]

[Mackenaw]

Hello Carrissa

God bless you this day, and Welcome to Christianity Oasis.

Awwwwww, bless your heart *hugs* sounds like you've been through a lot in the last few years. I am so glad The Lord led you here.

I was wondering if you have started the Christian Counseling Study, here? It is such a blessed Study, and it has helped many, many souls -- including myself. I hope you'll consider doing the Study. Here is the link: http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

I will be lifting you up in prayers to our Lord in the name of Jesus. May God's blessed will be done.

Carrissa, remember The Lord loves you so very much, and He loves your husband too. Hold on to The Lord.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[momof3]

Hi Carrissa and welcome to Oasis. So glad the Lord led you here. As Mack said, You and your family have been through alot.

My sister in Him, dont give up. My son was addicted to drugs..and got in trouble. I knew at the time that it was either jail or death for him...and the Lord used jail to wake him up and save him. He is going through the motions now that follow being incarcerated, but he is completely healed from the drug addictions. He is humbled and loves the Lord with all his heart and is learning to lean on Jesus more and more, especially through his weakest times. I pray the Lord will use this time in your husbands life to reach him and heal him. Keep praying for him and trust Jesus through this time, no matter what the situation looks like. And remember, he is His child too..and He loves him very much.

As you walk through this valley, let the Lord do some work in you through this counceling forum. Ive seen many many lives changed and healed. My heart goes out to you, and im praying for you and standing with you through this. You are not alone and again, Im so glad the Lord led you here to the Oasis.

in Jesus,
love momo

[Carrissa]

Thank you so very much for your encouragement, I am glad to hear that your son has seen the true light. It seems like my husband is seeing it too, but I pray everyday that God will more and more each day. He told me after he turned himself in and I finally was able to talk, that this was his rock bottom. He could finally see were his life was heading. All I pray for is that he can actually get the help that he needs and that he will recieve all of God, now that he has a straight a sober mind.

Again, thank you for your support and if there is anything that I can help you with, please let me know. I will keep you and your son in my prayers as well....Thank You

[deetu]

hi carrissa, nice to meet you
As I was reading your post, it reminded me that you are trying to take resposiblity for what your husband is going thru. You may not see it as such but it is there. People still have free will... are allowed to choose for themselves and as much as we tell them, doesn't mean they will listen. As a matter of fact, the more we try to convence them, the more they will feel back against a wall and fight it.

I thank you Lord that her husband has time to spend with you to see he needs to change his ways.
Help carrissa to see a change and help him with the change, listening to Holy Spirit's guidance
I ask in Jesus' name
amen

[mlg]

Carrissa, my heart cries with you. I've seen what addiction can do to a family first hand...and I also know that deep in ones soul it's hard to watch the ones you love going down that path...and wishing you could change them..yet knowing only God can. It is at these times we must rely on the Lord, and pray for those who are affected by the addiction. I know that it's hard to know that your husband is facing these charges....but I will pray that God uses this to heal your husband of his addiction...and also that God will be able to touch your husband's soul and bring him to the Light.

My prayers are with you carrissa. May God hold you through the days ahead.

Take care and God Bless

[Carrissa]

Thank you for your prayers, it feels good to know that I am not alone in this. I have felt alone for a long time. I know that God was and is always there, but I never really talked to others about things that I was and have been going through, I would just isolate myself and try to deal with things on my own. This is the first time that I have really reached out and actually expressed myself to others. It gives me more encouragement and hope than you could imagine, Thank you again for your prayers, I really appreciate it so very much.

Thank You

[mlg]

I'm so glad that we can be blessed by being here for you.

Take care hun