FindingmyWay at step 1
Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 5:48 pm*Pray* And so I inhaled and then paused again.
Guess it is fair to say that this is hard for me. Tears rolling down my face praying for God's grace. Anything is possible through Christ who strengthens me.
I don't know what to say, so I will just tell my story.
Over a year ago Nov 2009 I decided to leave my exhusband whom I was with for 12 years and 3 children. I fell in love with someone who I thought was my soul mate. I know now that I was so wrong.
With that being said, I was not happy in my marriage and wanted out.
I had decided maybe 4-5 years ago that things were not going to change and I needed to start preparing myself to be on my own.
My divorce was made final the end of Dec 2010 and for months I have been praying for understanding and going to church and even the library trying to find some answers.
In my marriage a lot of mistakes were made on both sides.
And even though I left I thought about the years and the children and tried to reach out to him to give it another try with no success.
Its hard to tell my story without giving the back ground.
So I will try and make it quick
I am a loving person and try to help anyone in need.
I love hard, I forgive often, I'm passionate and affectionate
strong but my heart is tender.
All the years we were together, I didn't feel any closer, heart and soul connected to him from year 1 to year 12.
Often felt like we were just going through the motions or we were just together because of the children.
My reasons for leaving: emotional abusive, he used a lot of I and not we or ours. His money, his vehicles. often he would say what have I done for him. He would shared our business (our arguments) with his mom, siblings, which I really didn't like. Often would say things to me in front of our kids. I don't know, these things just continued year after year and it was breaking me down. I couldn't take things staying the way they were.
And now I struggle with If I just could have been stronger and held on.
If I were more in God's presence that he would have kept my marriage together. I always tried to take my children to church and knew that if we were strong in lord that we would have a strong foundation. But my ex- often got mad at me and said not to push him to go to church.
So I meet someone new who I thought was my soul mate. I thought he saw my heart and soul. I felt as if Finally someone who gets me.
and to keep it short, I was totally wrong.
And so i'm left feeling fooled, tricked, stupid.
We didn't even last a whole year.
I feel like I can even trust my own judgement.
I realized that I know nothing. God knows everything.
I was reading the bible one day and I don't know what scripture it was but it said something like lean not on thy own understanding.
I am humble.
I never want to be in this place again.
I made it through step 1
Guess it is fair to say that this is hard for me. Tears rolling down my face praying for God's grace. Anything is possible through Christ who strengthens me.
I don't know what to say, so I will just tell my story.
Over a year ago Nov 2009 I decided to leave my exhusband whom I was with for 12 years and 3 children. I fell in love with someone who I thought was my soul mate. I know now that I was so wrong.
With that being said, I was not happy in my marriage and wanted out.
I had decided maybe 4-5 years ago that things were not going to change and I needed to start preparing myself to be on my own.
My divorce was made final the end of Dec 2010 and for months I have been praying for understanding and going to church and even the library trying to find some answers.
In my marriage a lot of mistakes were made on both sides.
And even though I left I thought about the years and the children and tried to reach out to him to give it another try with no success.
Its hard to tell my story without giving the back ground.
So I will try and make it quick
I am a loving person and try to help anyone in need.
I love hard, I forgive often, I'm passionate and affectionate
strong but my heart is tender.
All the years we were together, I didn't feel any closer, heart and soul connected to him from year 1 to year 12.
Often felt like we were just going through the motions or we were just together because of the children.
My reasons for leaving: emotional abusive, he used a lot of I and not we or ours. His money, his vehicles. often he would say what have I done for him. He would shared our business (our arguments) with his mom, siblings, which I really didn't like. Often would say things to me in front of our kids. I don't know, these things just continued year after year and it was breaking me down. I couldn't take things staying the way they were.
And now I struggle with If I just could have been stronger and held on.
If I were more in God's presence that he would have kept my marriage together. I always tried to take my children to church and knew that if we were strong in lord that we would have a strong foundation. But my ex- often got mad at me and said not to push him to go to church.
So I meet someone new who I thought was my soul mate. I thought he saw my heart and soul. I felt as if Finally someone who gets me.
and to keep it short, I was totally wrong.
And so i'm left feeling fooled, tricked, stupid.
We didn't even last a whole year.
I feel like I can even trust my own judgement.
I realized that I know nothing. God knows everything.
I was reading the bible one day and I don't know what scripture it was but it said something like lean not on thy own understanding.
I am humble.
I never want to be in this place again.
I made it through step 1
.
.
