Christianity Oasis Forum

[Angel42]

Repeated Mistakes...Why?

I have prayed for so long for financial wealth, just to take care of my family basic needs. I work hard every day and find myself falling deeper and deeper in the hole. I am the only provider and source of income. So therefore, to help me get out this hole, I thought I try gambling as a second source of income. I know it was a risk, but I was desperate and tired of bill collectors and court summons.

I realized my decision to gamble as an extra source of income was indeed a very bad decision and now I am even farther behind and deeper in debt. I have prayed and asked God to help me fight the urge to gamble because it has ruin my finances even worst. I have also made promises to God to stop, but the urge comes every time I can't make my monthly bills. Then I fall deeper once again and doesn't understand why God can't bless me at least one time through gambling to help me get out of this financial hole because I am only gambling to pay bills.

At times, I feel God is punishing me for breaking promises to him and preventing me from winning, and allow me to lose every cent of my money. I feel so angry towards God for allowing that to happen to me and just can't understand why so many others are being blessed. My sister last night won over $3000 at the casino. She was not desperate for it like me, but God allows her to win it.

I am so depressed right now and do understand my life could be a lot worst. I just needed to talk to someone and let all this pain out. I am ashamed of what I have become and what I have done to my finances. I ask you God to please help me overcome the urge to gamble to pay bills because it only puts me in a deeper hole. I know God have blessed me more ways than I can say, but foolishly messed up those blessings because it wasn't enough. I have to learn to be patient and wait on God. Please God help me fight the urge to gamble. I have lost so much and this month I don't know what I am going to do.

I ask you God to also forgive me for being weak, breaking a promise to you, and giving into Satan. I hurt everyday and fear that you will never bless me because of my broken promises. I am so sorry, please forgive me Heavenly Father. I love you.

[mlg]

Hi angel42, welcome to the Oasis! A big for you. I know it's hard to think of what the enemy has done to you. It's the fact that he has come in and took over...and now your "house" is a big mess. Well guess what? I have a friend who is a housekeeper...yep...His name is Jesus...and I know you know Him too. Time to give Him a call and ask Him to come over and help you clean up a bit...out with the old and in with the renewed you...renewed in Christ that is.

God offers second chances....a new day is just around the corner...reach for those brighter days...He wants you too.

Praying for you. God's will be done.

Take care and God Bless

[Angel42]

Good Morning,

I am on day 2 of my journey. I am so glad I was able to let my problem out. I have held it in so long and only talked secretly to God about it. I know I am on the road to recovery with God's help, but it is so hard and painful. I feel so ashamed about my actions and broken promises I made to God. He had given me more than second chances and I continue to mess up and do the same thing.

I know I need to forgive myself for my actions, but it is so hard. I didn't say my prayers last night because I really don't know what to say to God. I feel he is so tired of me. I avoid the prayers even when they secretly enter my mind. I just do not know how to forgive myself, nor do I know what to say to God. There are people with too many other bigger problems and feel my problem is something that can be last on God's list. I just don't feel I deserve his forgiveness or have the right to pray for financial wealth after I made bad gambling decisions. I am still struggling, but feel good letting it out. I love God with all my heart and have so much Faith and Belief in Him, but just feel he will not bless me financially because of my broken promises and constant gambling.

Gambling only enters my mind when I am desperate for money to pay bills. I don't have any other source of income and was lucky a few times and thought that was the way. When I have enough money to pay my monthly bills, I don't even go to a casino. I really don't, so why do I go when I am running short on my bill money. I know it's because of desperation, but it is still wrong because I lose control and lose everything. I feel so stupid because this is not the first, second, or the third time I have messed up. I have done it many times and that is why I can't forgive myself. If only I could learn to wait on God. He comes later with a financial blessing, but I have already messed up the other funds, so I be back at square one. I know I need to wait on God. He is always right on time. Please help me pray to forgive myself. I believe in my heart that God will forgive me, but I really need prayers to learn how to forgive myself. I secretly hate myself for messing up my finances and I know God does not want me to hate myself, but I do.

Please pray for me.



I will cont

[Tam]

Oh sweet sis....So good to see you here doing the steps. Welcome to Oasis

you said

I didn't say my prayers last night because I really don't know what to say to God. I feel he is so tired of me. I avoid the prayers even when they secretly enter my mind. I just do not know how to forgive myself, nor do I know what to say to God.

How about start talking to God like you just talked to us here. How about letting go of the anger you have towards GOD and yourself. How about working on a little trust?

Gambling only enters my mind when I am desperate for money to pay bills. I don't have any other source of income and was lucky a few times and thought that was the way. When I have enough money to pay my monthly bills, I don't even go to a casino

When we get desperate if we call out to God HE will meet our needs. Maybe not in the way we expect but He does. I am so sorry for saying this but I just don't see God blessing gambling. Sounds like your trust in Him being your supplier is not there. He says in His word that My God shall supply ALL my needs according to HIS riches in glory.

Got a few questions for you? My hubby and I used to struggle really bad to pay our bills. We were trying to live about our means.
Do you have any unecessary stuff that you can have cut off? Have just the essentials right now until you get caught up?
Only buy what you need to survive, not wants. Make sure everything you have is a necessity and not a want or a pleasure. God WILL bless your sacrifices if you are willing to make them.

I know that it is hard not to have and be able to do.....but GOD!
I trust that you will begin to see His love for you and that you will begin to trust HIM. Keep on your journey in the steps and keep reaching for HIS blessings because sis THEY ARE THERE AND THEY ARE FOR YOU TOO!

Hope to see you in chat sometimes.
Tam

[mlg]

Hi hun good to see you here on step 2 today.

So the blame game huh? You blame yourself for the mistakes you made...just as the enemy wants you to do....but God doesn't want you to do that....see God forgives unconditionally as long as you ask....and repent with a true heart...that's it....He asks nothing more and nothing less...sounds simple....but with the enemy trying to beat you down and whisper lies in your ears...it can be more difficult...you have to tune the enemy out and listen to only what God says...and then and there you can begin to forgive you....God wants you too.

My prayers continue for you. One step at a time hun...one day at a time.

Take care and God Bless

[Angel42]

After reading several replies and other posts, I decided to speak to God and be open with him. I will tell him all about me, my mistakes, and ask him for his forgiveness. I will also work on forgiving myself.

God does not bless gambling and the few wins from gambling didn't come from him. It was the devil's way of getting me hook and believing that was a good way of making extra money, only to lose my life savings.

It is a long road to recovery and very difficult to get through each day, especially when debtors are driving you crazy and threatening to sue you. However, I believe God will see me through, regardless how rough it gets don the road.

I see now I made very bad choices and today is the first day that I am willing to admit that I will no longer be gambling. I know now that it was Satan's way to earn extra money, not God's way.

I will work on my inner guilt and ask God to give me strength to forgive myself. I will pull the weeds that are stopping my growth with God. I will work on renewing my mind and developing a fresh new garden. I know it will not be easy and world will interfere at some times, but I will keep the faith and trust in God.

[kimby]

Talk to Him....I am coming to realise He generally says exactly what we need to hear. The confusion goes and peace and rest come. We have got to learn to remember that when we are trying to run from instead of run to!

[mlg]

Wonderful! Now that's the right attitude to have. God will reward you for allowing Him to finally take the reigns of your life.

I want to say, maybe you should check into some credit counseling. This might help you sort your bills into a budget that will be something you can manage without all the stress.

Take care hun

[Tam]

That a girl!!!!!!
Way to fight back!!! GIve the enemy a dose of his own medicine.

Keep pressing forward!!!!

[Dora]

Oh Angel you are doing great! Don't you feel that inner strength growing already!!!

today is the first day that I am willing to admit that I will no longer be gambling.

Amen sister! Keep saying that every day.

When the temptation is strong just make it till tomorrow with out giving in. Then tomorrow deal with tomorrow.

I am praying Gods blessings over you.

[Angel42]

I am starting to forgive myself because I know God forgives me. I just needed to learn to forgive myself for displeasing and letting God down, once again.. I will continue to pray to God for strength to stay away from making bad financial decisions and gambling.

Thanks God and please know that I love you with all my heart. I have strong faith and belief that everything and anything is possible through Almighty God in the name of Jesus Christ. Love you!!

[Angel42]

I am fighting back and putting God first at all times. I am just so proud that I was able to admit I have a gambling problem and will fight everday to stay away from and fight temptations to gamble my money in a casino.

Thanks you guys for being so supportive.