Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

My name is Jose Cardoza, I'm from Managua, Nicaragua. I was searching for counseling and help and I found this beautiful webpage so I decided to create this jornal. I grew up at an orphanage and when I was in highschool I was blessed with a scholarship in the United States. I studied 3 years in Texas and Oklahoma and I came back to Nicaragua with many hopes and dreams willing to help my poor country.

I got married and I have a son, I worked for prestigious companies since I came back from US. My family and I had a nice life, we were happy and we helped many people with needs when they reached us. On December 2009 I decided to start my own business but everything went wrong and I broke. At first I lied to my wife because I didn't want to scare her but everything got worse and we lost our house, our money and even our personal things. My wife and son had to move to a small town in Nicaragua where they're are staying with some relatives while I stayed in Managua trying to start over again. However, one year has passed and things just keep the same and even more difficult. I have knocked many doors, but none of them have opened and my country is so poor that jobs are not easy to find so it may take me one more year to find a job.

I have lost my faith and I feel so lonely. There have been days that my son has been starving and I just can't do anything to help him, so I think that I am angry with God because we are a family and he has abandoned us. I understand that I am not a perfect human being, but I have done the best to live within his love and rules.

My situation is getting worse and in my desperation I have started to think stupid things like commiting suicide or assaulting a bank and things like that and I feel so useless and ashamed that I don't want to live anymore and I want to take my son with me.

Even though I feel so weak, I have been praying to the Lord to have mercy on me. I was hoping to spend a happy christmas with my family, but nothing happened and we just had to see how the other families celebreted christmas. I could not afford to even buy a dinner for my family and I feel so disappointed that I have started to doubt about God's existance.

I read about about this counceling program and its 14 days steps so I will follow each step hoping that I can find God again. I have nothing to lose because I already lost it all. All I have is my life and my family and I don't want to lose them but I don't know how to start again if I don't receive any blessings from God.

God bless you all.
Jose Cardoza

to my Christian brother Jose,
I cannot imagine what you feel, but I lost my family to bad choices I made in my personal life and I too wanted to end it and felt God had left me, I cannot tell you why but I know we all go through these trials, I spoke in a chat room over the holidays about this, we just like Jesus are sent out into "our deserts" I think that is where you are now.
I think this is NOT so much a test from God but a test from satan to see how strong your faith really is, as I said I cannot even imagine where you are in life right now BUT God knows and He will bring you through it if you keep your faith strong no matter how long or how bad satan tries to destroy it.
PLEASE stay strong and keep doing the counseling pages but be warned satan will see this and hit even harder,satan does not like when we give him a black eye (keeping faith no matter what) when your faith is doubted that strengthens satan but every challenge met with faith shows him how small he really is.
{I came back to Nicaragua with many hopes and dreams willing to help my poor country.} & {we were happy and we helped many people with needs when they reached us.} then satan steps in { but everything went wrong and I broke. At first I lied to my wife} & {everything got worse and we lost our house, our money and even our personal things} & {I have lost my faith and I feel so lonely} {My situation is getting worse and in my desperation I have started to think stupid things like committing suicide or assaulting a bank and things like that and I feel so useless and ashamed that I don't want to live anymore and I want to take my son with me.}
Please tell me you see the pattern here satan has slowly taken everything even stripped your faith, you said you are angry with God but He is not the one to be angry at satan is, for destroying your faith and making him stronger in your life than God, I know you don't realize it but that is where the thoughts of taking yours and your sons life, robbing banks and worst of all doubting God's existence all are coming from, he is winning the battle, NOW pick up your armor and stand before satan and tell him he no longer has his hold on you that you are willing to fight him to the death NO MATTER what the outcome and know God WILL provide for you a way out but NOT by giving in to satan
you see you already took the first step, you came here looking for guidance and prayer and you WILL receive both in abundance here, satan is not welcome here!! so you are already strengthening yourself!
God bless and welcome
Cuc

Hi cardoza and welcome to Oasis! Im so glad the Lord led you here. You have beensearching for answers and looking for Him through all of this and please know that He led you here because He has heard your heart.

I can tell you that I went through something similar to what you are going through. I lost my home and my job and car...everything I had built with my own hands. I didnt see the blessing in losing it all till I found that God was still there and He had another plan. My brother, earthly possessions dont matter. Somewhere in here, God is showing you something, growing you, leading you in another direction. As true as it is that God doesnt bring evil to people, He does know what's happening and has a plan for your life that He has designed. Its true that we go through desert dry times....and my new friend, let Him mold and shape you into who He sees you to be through this time. Your life..the life He breathed into you, is not your own. He gave you life for a purpose.

Your son, your wife...they need you. God is not angry with you, He is hoping you will seek Him through this dry time...which He has led you here to do.

Im praying for you and your family and that the Lord will open a door for you to find a job, but most of all, im praying that you will allow Him to have His will be done in your life. Store up your treasures in Heaven.

You arent alone. May God bless you with what He knows you need. Surrender everything to Him..even your darkest thoughts and beliefs..talk with Him...give it all to Him.

In Jesus,
luv momo

God loves you Jose. He will never leave you nor forsake you. His word tells us that and we can trust Him and His word. If He removes something from us it is for our good. We will grow and be stronger and He will return to us more than what was removed if we are faithful to keep following Him.

Keep seeking Him. Praying for you and yours.

Hello cardoza, Welcome to the Oasis. God has led you here for a reason. I know life can seem desperate at times...especially when the waves of the storms are lapping over your head...but know that Jesus is there and He can lift you up above the water. There ARE brighter days ahead cardoza...just have hope....grab onto it hun.

I know that you want to do the best you can for your family...and I also know God wants to give your family the best as well. I will be praying for you. May God begin to open doors....I know with God all things are possible...and that means anything you need....so reach out and lean on God's shoulders...He will help you.

Take care and God Bless

Welcome Jose,

I read your post and knows exactly how you feel. I have lost many worldly possessions due to bad financial decisions, which led me down the path I am on right now. However, I know I must stay strong, keep the faith, and believe God will never forsake me. I trust in him, but sometimes it is so hard because I don't understand why he allows me to keep making the same mistakes, even when I pray for strength and guidance. I know it is not him, but Satan, and satan is the one I need to step away from.

I am on Day 1 too and hope this will also put me on the path to forgive myself for breaking promises to God and letting my family down. So I ask of you Jose to stay strong and keep the faith. I will stay in touch with you on your journey to success, because it will stregnthen me as well.

Let not Satan steal your joy, happiness, and sanity.

Cardosa,

Please don't allow the enemy to turn you against God...Sometimes God allows things to happen for the strengthen of our Faith to see if we will be still and just trust him through these storms...

Being angry with God is not gonna make things any better...

Ask God to forgive you for being angry with him...He is not punishing you and your family and he is not left nor forsaken you either...


(when I had legally became disabled I had moved into a disbled ready apartment which was owned by hud and My rent was based upon my income, I had nurses and home visiting physicians,physical therapist,stores nearby, great neighbors, and I was part of a resident council and I also did alot of fundraisers and made alot of good changes for the residents and brought them many fun activities as well encouraging them to get to know one another and interact instead of always being cooped up in their apartments...I made alot of people happy while I was still living there)

Then I decided to move out and move in with a friend to help her out in her situation...I lost everything...She worked and I baby sat literally around the clock nonstop she was my only source of transportation, we lived in the boonies...and we did not know a single soul...every one I knew lives over 50 miles and more away...i became very ill without my insulin and meds for four months...all my money went towards the bills I was constantly broke and borrowing to get by... the situations seemed nearly hopeless...by I kept crying out to the Lord and He made a way outta no way...Opened the doors that no one could close..and closed doors that no one could open... I got and apartment in three days the electric company waved the deposit lights on on the fifth day...got a discount on the uhual with extra day and extra fifty miles...loaded and unloaded the uhaul for me for free...and I asked no one for their help God did it all... sent who had chosen to bless me...i was totally moved out and moved into my own place again in 8 days...God did that... amazing..isnt it...got my meds...dr...everything I lost back...and it is not gonna stop here..this is just the begining..)amen (thank you Jesus)


When things were going great in your life...and you decided to be a blessing with the carreer you were blessed with...You did alot of good...
(You were doing God's work through those loving acts of kindness and compassion)

The enemy was infuriated by all this...He decided to test your faith and God may have very well allowed it just like he did in the book of Job...to see if you will continue to praise and worship him without all the blessings.

Job stood fast through it all...

In the end he got everything the DEVIL stole from him and so much more...lots more...

read the book of Job and may it encourage you to be strong in the Lord...


What I like to do when things come against me ...

I put some praise n worship music on and I fast and I pray until something happens with great expectancy...


Throughout the drama, Job asserts his innocence of wrong, thereby rejecting the traditional view that suffering is the result of sin. The humble and patient Job who bears his sufferings as proofs of piety, however, becomes the raging and insistent Job pressing relentlessly for divine vindication in the dialogue that forms the main part of the book (chaps. 3 - 31). The argument is pursued through three cycles of speeches in which Job's three friends - Eliphaz, Bilbad, and Zophar - chide the hero and he, in answering them, challenges God. Job's final self defense and call upon the deity is answered by God's speech from a whirlwind in which Job is invited to trust in the divine omniscience and power.



This direct experience of the mysteries of God leaves Job at peace with himself. Although no final solution to the problem is offered, the author clearly rejects traditional explanations of suffering. It is a moot point whether he offers a positive answer to questions about suffering and divine justice.


In the end He was more blessed than when he had 1st began....


Keep trusting and praising God...You can do all things through Christ jesus who strengthens you...
For GREATER is HE that is in you than He that is in the world...

stop talking bout how big your problems are (no offense) ..and remind yourself how BIG and GReat is our GOD....


xoxoxmaryxoxox

Father God I lift this man to you..asking that you cover and saturate his heart, mind, and soul in the blood...Rebuking and binding all demonic forces coming against him and his family...Get the behind him satan for it is written...Peace Be still...For GREATER is HE that is in HIM than HE that is in the WORLD>. and if GOD be for him then WHO can be against him..
I release Prosperity NOW....I release Peace of mind..NOw....I release that Now kind of FAITH...Father you said when two or three in stand in agreement you are there in the midst of them and whatever we ask in your name it shall not return void unto us...but set out to do as we have said...We thank you invance for this super natural divine blessing in the making...open doors that no man can close..and close doors that no man can open in Jesus name we pray amen!!

I would like to thank you all for your prayers, yours support and love. I still have serious problems and I know that I still have to fight, but I don¡t feel alone anymore. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring for me and my family. I apologize for not answering to everyone of you, but I am using public internet with limited time and it's very difficult.

I didn't find a job in my country and I can't start a small business without any financing and my wife and son are going through very difficult situations. Here in my country 80% of the people is unemployed and we fight everyday to find some food for our children.

I have decided to leave my country and try to move to US or Spain where I can find a job, but we don¡t get visas to go to those countries, so I will have to do it illegaly cause I have no option. I will leave on Friday, January 7 so after that day I will not be able to read your comments. I thank you again for all your prayers, I will be praying for you all.

May God bless my family and yours always.

Best Regards, Jose Cardoza

My prayers are that God will direct your path and bring you just what you need most. May He be with you and your family as you walk through this path of Life. He is in control, and He has a plan.

Take care and God Bless

My prayers remain with you brother. I am so touched by your post. Please let us know how you are doing when you can. May God be with you and your family.

yOU WILL REMAIN IN MY PRAYERS...YOU WILL OVERCOME THIS SOONER THAN YOU THINK....GOD IS WORKING BEHIND THE SCHENES...I AM BELIEVING FOR A MIRACLE AND ASKING DOUBLE FOR YOUR TROUBLE IN JESUS NAME AMEN

XOXOXMARYXOXOXOX


GOD IS WHISPERING IN SOMEONE'S EAR NOW...

SOMEBODY IS WAITING TO BLESS YOU...AMEN

Thank you MLG, Pine & Mary and all of you praying for me and my family. I will leave this friday and I hope God bless my way. My son doesn't want me to leave, but I have no option. But he understands that I want the best for him and I will do anything I can to help him. God bless you all and please love your children and your family because they're the most beautiful gift that we have received from God.

Love, Jose Cardoza