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Journal for redoing steps

PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 7:58 pm
by fulsworld
Redid steps i and 2 in past two days. There's so much to learn. There's alot of study to really get the hang of weeding- and of renewing my mind every day. I'm going thru a divorce I did not want, and learning and focusing is extra tough these days, but this seems to be the way to help me thru this devastation.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:28 pm
by Dora
fulsworld I hurt for you and pray for you.

I'm glad you are redoing the steps.

What did you find with in todays steps that spoke to you?

My sister once told me not to tell God how big your trouble is but to tell your trouble how big your God is.

I think we still should talk to God about our troubles yet we need to not focus on them. Instead focus on Him. :) Hard to do at times. It gets easier.

Have faith. You will get through this by His good grace.

*hug* God loves you and so do I!

PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 10:00 pm
by fulsworld
Thanks for the encouragement Pine. God is showing me about PATIENCE. I am not patient, and I finally see that this patience stuff will only be learned thru enduring tribulation. I said to God- okay Now I see. I will be patieint. If I must endure it, I will endure it-take as long as You want! Teach me. So that was the biggest point that finally got thru my thick skull. Patience can only be learned thru enduring trials.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:25 pm
by sbennett
:( Divorce is sooo hard. It takes so much out of you and it breaks both your heart and your spirit. But God is right there with you. The steps will help.
I went through divorce and it was just an emotional nightmare....but I cried out to God constantly and HE was always there....and HE took a lot of the pain I could not deal with. I pray HE does the same for you....I pray HE comforts you and helps you be strong.

you can message me if you need to talk ....

PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 11:00 pm
by fulsworld
Step 3 revisited. I have operated out of fear for so many things in my life. And this step convicts me of so often obeying God not out of love, but out of fear. I thought to myself, maybe I cannot love. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that God loves me. And the depth of that love. I can easily have faith that he loves others. But for myself, I have such a mental block about it. And He really is the one who pointed this out to me, so to speak. And ever since, it seems wherever I turn, I am hearing or readng something about God's love for me. I am ashamed to be loved like this. I am so so so unworth this. This gift. This profound, incredible gift. And yet I respond not out of love but out of fear. This weed runs so deep in me.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:47 am
by sbennett
*angelbounce* God is love and HE does love you....and no you do not deserve it. Nobody does....but by GRACE we are saved. Jesus died on the cross for you and that is the ultimate love. It is the truest love.
*Pray* Praying that God gives you so much love from HIM you cant help but feel it!! *angelbounce*

PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:02 pm
by Dora
fulsworld wrote:Step 3 revisited. I have operated out of fear for so many things in my life. And this step convicts me of so often obeying God not out of love, but out of fear. I thought to myself, maybe I cannot love. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that God loves me. And the depth of that love. I can easily have faith that he loves others. But for myself, I have such a mental block about it. And He really is the one who pointed this out to me, so to speak. And ever since, it seems wherever I turn, I am hearing or readng something about God's love for me. I am ashamed to be loved like this. I am so so so unworth this. This gift. This profound, incredible gift. And yet I respond not out of love but out of fear. This weed runs so deep in me.


That sounds exactly where I was a while back! :) Praise God for the way He calls us to Him.

Trust in Him sis. The love is real and it is for you. He is seeking you. That's why everything points towards His love. *angelbounce*

Praying for you! *Pray*

redoing step6

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:19 am
by fulsworld
redoing step 6 this morning. Patience is the name of the game. God is so patient teaching me. I have to return that patience. Its funny, I am bright and yet I am slow to get this. Yet it is simple and clear. I must endure trial, I must be discriminating with my thoughts- I must weigh them and decide if they're from God or not, and get rid of the ones that are not. I have to BELIEVE when I pray. I have to BELIEVE when I pray. I have to BELIEVE when I pray. I have to FORGIVE. I have to not BLAME. I have to stop being so rebellious. I have a rebellious attitude! I never knew this. He just showed me!! It is a revelation. (And here I thought I have always been such a "good little girl"!!!) And I have to go to God over and over and over again. Praising, and asking, and trusting and praising some more. He is so faithful and loving and patient. And oh Lord, thank you thank you for forgiving rebelliousness. Thank you Lord-in Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:07 am
by vahn
Ah , that BIG word - patience !! - If it wasn't done yesterday , it was too late , so why bother asking . If I didn't get it yesterday , it was too late , so why bother asking . And so it went on , until the "Why bother asking " became the norm , only this time it had a little twist to it , it went something like , "Why bother asking , I'll never get it anyway !! " followed by , "Why should I get anything ? , I'm too this and I'm too that and the other "

Until one day our Lord asked me "Why shouldn't you ?"



In Christ , our Lord

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 1:29 pm
by Christnundrconstruxn
Praying for you fulsworld
I too did not feel the worth of Gods love but this site and the good people on here helped me to realize it's not because 'I deserve it" it's because that's HIS WISH FOR ME
don't EVEN get me started on patience *laughter*
with much love to you and all my brothers and sisters on here
God bless
Cuc

a sidetrack on the path

PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 8:50 am
by fulsworld
Went over the WHO AM I page in step 6. Had another DUUH! moment. So my gifts/talents are to be used for God- to be "fruitful" for him. To bear fruit in his service. Pretty cool. And I thought- well that's pretty simple to check and see if somethig I'm doing, some talent I'm using, bears some kind of fruit that is pleasing to God. And that makes it easy to say- yeah, I'm on the right track, or no, this is the wrong track.

And with this rotten divorce I'm going thru- I'd been dreading this Christmas season-having no kids, and now no husb either, and essentially no family. And God's helping me- but I'm "ye of little faith" sometimes, and only limping along... So last night I hear this Christian professor talking about Christmas- the worldly Christmas-the Mistletoe and holly and rudolph on the lawn Christmas. And he mentions that That's the world's Christmas- it's not God's Christmas. And he talks about Christmas the way God would have us celebrate it--and how it is not about the perfect tree and the big happy family around the piano singing carols, etc etc, although there's nothing wrong with that-but it's the giving to someone who has not, the loving the unlovely, the whole behaving like Jesus, walking in his steps, loving, forgiving...all that. Everything we talk about here all the time. And that gave me a whole new perspective!! Praise you Lord-like you said, you are with me in trials, and you will not give me more to bear than I can bear, and you will make a way where there is no way- and when evil comes, you will show me a way out! Life is with You Lord, nothing else makes much sense. Thanks be to you, my merciful Saviour.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 23, 2010 6:44 am
by fulsworld
Step 12 again this morning. Again, I must be patient and endure suffering. It's getting easier to remember this in the midst of my grief, and that makes it all more bearable! Also, remembering not to go where there's temptation in the first place-not to go down those roads "where there are ditches." And Truth, always Truth, the best defense against the Enemy's lies. It really does work. But I must learn and memorize more of God's word, so I can just think of it right at the time the enemy tempts and torments me. The Holy Spirit is my comforter. He is such a wonderful companion. I am at the point where I can believe God will give me the grace to "get through" this divorce-but I still have trouble belieivig His promise of having "a furutre and great plans for me." I still have a hard time trusting that He will teach and lead me to a place of joy here in this world. I need prayer that He will strengthen my faith, and show me how to have hope, and to believe in the abundant life that Jesus died to give me.