Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Well, let's see...step 1 is an intro...so here I go

I'm Melissa. I'm 29. Married. No kids (yet).

Christian since I was in high school, but fell away from God during college.

Came back to God in 2003/2004 and haven't looked back. I still fail, I still struggle, and I still sin daily. I've made many mistakes, and some of those mistakes God has turned into blessings.

Why I'm here: I'm here because while I have a great Christian therapist in real life, I still need more support.

My biggest issue is FEAR. Fear manages to get the best of me, thus rendering me useless to those around me and those I love.

Currently this fear is manifesting itself in terms of my fear of flying. My husband and I are getting ready to go on vacation to Florida, but we're flying down. I'm TERRIFIED of flying, and have been my entire life. I didn't start flying until I was around 26, and flew consistantly for about a year, until I met my now husband, and stopped traveling for the most part (it also helped that my dad moved back home, and it was him I was traveling to see).

We flew last year on vacation, and nothing bad happened. This time around, I'm much more fearful, much more emotional about flying. I keep saying that I've got that "gut feeling" that something is going to go wrong and we're going to die while flying.

At the same time, I somewhat feel that my "gut feeling" is being clouded by my FEAR I don't like being like this. I don't like feeling like this.

I want to overcome this fear -- I know all the stats about flying being safer than driving. I know that it's unlikely that something will happen. But I'm so scared something will happen.

I guess what bothers me the most about it all isn't that I'll be dead - I know where I'm going! I know that I'll be in heaven - that doesn't bother me at all. What bothers me is the fact that I know how much pain and sorrow my grandmother, mom, and dad (plus other assorted friends and family) will suffer. Specifically my mom, dad, and grandmother. I'm an only child, and both mom and grandmother have told me that without me here, they have no reason to continue living. They are both believers, but still, I don't want to be the cause of their sorrow.

All I want is to have a great vacation with my husband, come back and prepare for Christmas with my family here.

Prayer is a big part of this - and I pray daily asking God for guidance and peace. I know satan is waging war against me, and right now he's winning. I ask God daily for some sort of reassurance that everything will be ok, that we won't die on the flight down or back - and my husband attempts to reassure me daily - I somehow wonder if I'm throwing God's reassurance back in his face because I think my husband is just trying to get me to calm down....

Can anyone give me any advice?

Thanks

Melissa

While doing missions training our team took part in a Ropes Course...it involved heights, trust, etc. A lot of us had fear about different elements of it. Fear that varied from nervous energy to paralysing, crippling terror. One of the things that a facilitator kept telling us was, "Do it afraid."

I think so often we wait for the fear to go...when in actuality a lot of times the fear won't go until we make a start.

Hey Melissa,

Welcome to Oasis! So glad you are here!

Your post reminded me of something that happened several years ago. I had been in another state for a meeting with one of my clients. My business partner had a plane and we had flown over. We had gone to many meetings this way. A few months earlier, my sister passed away from an accidental drug overdose. The enemy used her passing to speak fear into my life. It consumed me. I was constantly in a state of fear..to the point where it was almost paralizing! I thought every day about dying. It can happen in an instant. In a moment...one minute you are here, the next you are not...these types of thoughts...what would happen to my kids?? so on and so forth....

anyway...we were flying back..got up in the air 3500 feet and the prop on the small plane we were in blew up into a million pieces. Long story short...the Lord used that incident to show me...Its not up to me. Im not in control. He has numbered our days. He doesnt want us to live grounded in fear of what will happen. It doesnt matter what we are doing when He feels its time for us to go to Him. He is in control and knows exactly what is going to happen and what He will do in the lives of those we leave behind here for a time. They are His too.

Give this fear to Him, sis. He is in control. God bless you!

In Jesus,
luv momo

Hello sister! I know to well what you mean about fear. I went through the same thing when I flew with my spouse a year ago. Leaving our children behind. Would they all loose their father and mother in one tragic event? But God saw us through. He used this trip to help me see my lack of trust in Him and to help me to learn to trust Him. It's really a beautiful thing actually.

He will guide and protect His children. Pray through it and trust Him. Listen to His voice. Not the voice of the enemy. That enemy likes to keep us in fear. Take your bible and read it along the trip. Psalms may be a good book to read along the way.

God bless and keep you. Praying for you!!!

Hi Melissa i cant relate to your fear of flying.......i can relate to it this way
my mom was in a car accident before me and my brothers were borne and she had a fear of being in a car it would grip her and paralize her it would cause me to come fear ful,i asked God to take the fear of being in the car away my mom prayed the same way and the fear was gone.

i hated to feal that way to it is hard to deal with God can and will take your fear away.i belive he is doing this for you right now in Jesus name
amen. dont give up you on a brikn of a mirical dont give up God is still on his throne.

Hello Melissa

Welcome to Christianity Oasis.

Here is a Study on "Fear". I think it will help you understand some of the things that are going on with you.

http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keyword/Fear.htm

I'm sending up prayers to our Lord, on your behalf. God's blessed will be done.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

Thanks for all of the replies! I'm so grateful to have posted in a place full of believers, many who have experienced the same things I am experiencing.

I've had a good day - the fear hasn't been overwhelming (as it has in the past few days). I've had fleeting thoughts of fear - but they've at least been fleeting. I know that prayers are a big part of that.

I intend to go through and read many of your journals and comment, but I haven't had the time to do so as of yet.

I am so grateful for your prayers, and ask for them to continue! They will help me get through this situation and come out the better for it on the other side.

We serve a faithful God - He is faithful to those who are faithful to Him.

Blessings
Melissa

Today has been a better day, but I'm starting to feel satan's attack now.

I'm again getting that feeling that something is going to go wrong.

I don't like feeling like this. I don't like feeling that my faith is wavering

I want to be strong. I want my faith to be strong.

I just want to go on vacation and come back to my family safe and sound.

I'm crying out for help, and sometimes I feel like God isn't listening

Hello Melissa

God bless you this day.

Ok, let's look at this "fear of flying". You said that you've been afraid of flying all your life; however, you never even experienced flying until age 26. So, the fear was generated by something else. You were not flying, yet you feared it.

So then you started flying from age 26 to age 27, without incident.

Then you flew at age 28, with your husband, and everything went fine.

Now, at age 29 the thought arises again, because of plans you and your husband have for vacation.

You doubt your husband words of comfort, because (paraphrase) well...he probably just wants you to calm down.

Your mom and dad and grandmother love you. But they have said that if anything ever happened to you, that they could not continue on. There we have "fear" again...their fears, put upon you.

Doesn't sound like God, does it? I mean, we are to have reverential fear of God, to be in awe of Him. But God isn't what you are fearing right at this moment, is it?

Sounds more like "control by fear".

God bless and keep you, Melissa.
Love,
Sister Mack

Mack -

Thanks for the words of wisdom! I'm trying to remember that God only wants what is best for me - not the worst.

I'm also trying to find God's provisions in this, rather than focus on the fear - it's just tough.

I keep thinking as I'm doing stuff for those around me (mom, grandmother, dad, etc) - "this may be the last big thing I do for them". that's the fear manifesting itself and coming out in my brain.

I've seriously considered just driving - simply b/c the trauma is too much at the moment. my husband doesn't want to drive because it's a lot on him (moreso than me) b/c he has to go back to work the day after we get back.

I had something happen today that I see as God's provision -

both my husband and I are trying to rebuild our credit - neither of us carry a credit card, and thus are having a difficult time renting a car for a day while we're down in Florida. Debit cards don't seem to be good enough for most of the car rental agencies. Well, today, I got an offer in the mail for a credit card with a small limit (like $300). This will allow us to rent a car with a "credit card" even if we pay for the rental with our debit card.

If I look at this as God's provision, then I see that HE is showing me that we will be fine, and we will get to do the things we have planned.

This helps to overcome some of the fear - but yet satan is still manifesting this fear.

I still appreciate the prayers! I feel as if they are working - little by little.

Blessings!
Melissa

So cool Melissa!! And that you can see God working in you is the best.

There was a story that I remember from Sunday school that has stuck with me forever. Someone asked a man who was hoeing what he would do if he knew that today was the last day of earth, he said he would keep hoeing. We need to live each day like it is our last... no regrets, no fear!

When are you going on vacation?

I'll be praying for you.