Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

this is probably the third time Ive done this I think. much like life, I don't think I've ever really got it right, if there is a right to get. I need change. I need it badly.
today is my 22nd birthday. I'm sick, all have my friends went to Orlando and didn't even ask if i wanted to go. I'm doing a great job of throwing myself a little pity party over that. but the thing that bothers me more than anything is that I feel like I've wasted my life. I'm just one big waste of oxygen.
I have no plans for my future, because all the plans I made for myself in the past have been shattered. I'm not who I wanted to be and I'm not satisfied with my life.
I self injure. i have been now for more than half my life. its taken up a large portion of my time actually. it seems like the thing i used to help control myself just controls me now. I have no control over anything anymore and i guess that's a good thing in a way, but I feel like I'm just falling into nothingness grasping to hold on to something, anything. but all I can find to hold on to are things that hurt me in the end.
I am terrified of going back to the way I was before I knew God. if I keep going this way Ill end up back there by then end of the month, perhaps even sooner. I want so badly to believe that all I have to do is cling to Him and everything will be alright. but I cant because nothing is alright and I'm not okay with that and it doesn't matter how hard I fight to stay with God because I'm already disconnected. I need a change. and I need it badly. I cant live like this anymore.

Hi rain..and happy birthday!

just wanna say...you are not your own, child. You are His child. You were created by Him, for Him. His plans for your life are not your plans. His thoughts arent your thoughts, either. More than that..the way God sees you is different from the way you see you. He doesnt create and breathe life into someone by accident or mistake. He doesnt create a soul to leave it to it's own devices and plans..or thoughts. The enemy knows how to whisper to you. he's watched you from the time you were born...

the good news is that God has too...and He knows you intimately. He hears your silent prayers and knows your deepest thoughts. Its only in surrendering your will to His, surrendering your pain to Him and replacing what the enemy whispers to you with what God says about and to you that you become free from the vices this life has placed on you..

the control you speak can only come from Him..realizing you arent in control and cant be leads you to surrendering control to Him. He is in control. allowing Him to be in control is where the healing is.

sis, you are not your own. You were called by Him before you were born. get into His word and see what He would say to you.

praying for you through this. you arent alone.

in Jesus,
love momo

Rain, on the second day, there is a study within the study on Holy Spirit. I urge you to read that study and understand that Holy Spirit was sent by Jesus to help us and guide us. Sometimes all we need is to awaken him and listen to hear him guide us how we need to go.

Happy belated Birthday sweetie

Hi rain. Good to see you doing the study again. Because I know it will help lift you up. I think I've done it 4 times.

Praying for you.

And happy birthday. Hope it was grand!