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I will admit what I have never wanted to admit. I don't think I truly ever forgave people who hurt me in my life. I now know I need to so that I can forgive my wife and move on from her emotional affair.

First, I must forgive my mother, my aunt and my grandmother for the vicious and cruel way they attacked my maleness, manhood and worth as a human being. Not going into detail, but it began when I was six or seven years old and continued until I moved from mother's home at 29 years old. It has produced sexual performance anxiety with my wife. I need the little blue pill because I am not able to perform properly without it.

Second, I must forgive the black kids that attacked my so-called blackness when I was in junior high school. They called me an Uncle Tom and many other names. Because of this I have lived a life unable to truly trust the motives and thoughts of any other black males I have ever known. Iim black and I have spent my life hating other black people.

Third, I have to forgive me wife. She hasn't changed in any way that I see, but I cannot wait for that to happen. I have to change from the inside out. I have to stop carrying this poison around inside me if there is any hope for my marriage.

Please pray for me to do just that.

Thanks to all of for your help!

-Will-

Will you have taken a huge step today. You have made what I call a forgiveness list. It works well for me. I write out exactly who I need to forgive and what I need to forgive them for and once placed there I leave it behind forever. I pray it works for you as well..lay it all at the feet of Jesus.

Will I know you can't change your wife, but what you can do is change your reaction to the things your wife says and does. Make your reactions Godly ones...and sometimes they may mean stepping aside and praying before you answer. Let go and Let God Will...He loves you very much and He finds you to be His precious child.

Have a great day in Jesus Will.

luv ya