Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Hello,

I really don't know where to start. I have been reading 14 steps program and it has been really interesting so far. Now the problem I believe that I am struggling with is with the person I'm in a relationship with. We have been together for 8 years and we have two children together. I have recently dedicated my life back to the lord and told him that I'm not fornicating anymore or shacking. Every since I made that decision I have felt peace within myself. I also came to realize that I'm not in love with him. Don't get me wrong I love him, but I'm not in love with him. He is having a problem accepting this and he is not willing to let me go. We have been through a lot these past 8 years and last year he had hurt me and that's when I had no desire to married him anymore. I feel as though I'm not in love with him because I always had pushed him away and in the beginning of our relationship my intentions of being with him was wrong. I feel like I stayed in this relationship because we had kids and I didn't want to hurt him. I wanted to love him the way he loves me, but I couldn't. We had plenty of chances to get married, but I feel as though God has stopped it for a reason. It is so many other reasons for feeling the way that I do, but I keep asking myself am I wrong for wanting to be by myself? Should I marry him because we have children and was together for 8 years? The person I'm with thinks so. He is really hurt and he thinks I don't care. When he hurt me I felt like dying, I had a whole bunch of evil thoughts going through my head and when I turned to God I felt relieved. My attentions in being by myself is not to be with anyone else. All I want to do is to seek God more and to deal with my issues on my own. I don't want no relationship with any man right now, but God. I just keep thinking am I'm being selfish or is this God's will? I'm hoping I'm making the right decision on letting this man go. I feel that I am.

Hi jonelle

I just replied to a post you made on singles so i wont make ya read it again on this post but I did wanna tell ya im glad you started the 14 day program. See it through and you wont regret it.

GBU sister

Thank you

Hi Jonelle...if you are seeking God and growing with Him then you are on the right track. Right now I hear a bit of confusion about your relationship with your friend...and I want to say that God is not the author of confusion. God's will brings peace. Find God's will for you sis.

I want to say this...God has a plan already worked out for your life...but God needs you to make Him #1 in your life so He can begin to move and work in your life. I'm glad you have began the 14 day program. Take this time and really grow with God.

Praying for you.

luv ya

Hello Jonelle,

God bless you this day.

I glad you have decided to do the 14-Day CCCC Study. The Study will help you in your quest to build a relationship with The Lord. This is the most important relationship you will ever have, and from the blessings found in a pure and honest relationship with The Lord, your relationships with others will be forever changed.

You have asked many questions about what to do in your relationship with the man with whom you have shared your life for the last 8 years, through which 2 beautiful children were created. Those children are God's children, just as you and their dad are. The Lord loves each of you, equally. That is something we all need to understand. God loves everyone, and it is His desire that everyone will come to know Him through the bloodshed of His only begotten Son, Christ Jesus, in Whom we now have true Life and access to The Father, and a promise of eternal life with Him.

None of us can tell you whether you and your children's father should get married or whether you should start living life as a single mother of 2. Almighty God can answer those questions, so the sooner you get to know Him, the sooner you'll get the answers you seek.

Jonelle, none of us were intended to go through life without our Lord. Our separation from Him is the reason so many of us have made one bad decision after another, and the reasons why our relationships with others are in such disarray. By nature we're all selfish, and from that mindset come the bad decisions -- based solely on our own limited understanding, as opposed to the leading of The Lord. It is no wonder our lives get so messed up.

Take the time to get to know The Lord. The 14-Day CCCC Study will help you in getting to know Him, because it leads you to His Word -- The Bible, which is Jesus.

Psalm 37:5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

I'm lifting you up to our Lord in prayer. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Jonelle.
In His love,
Sister Mack

Thank you all for your comments. I do believe God is leading me on the right path.