Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I have faithfully been reading the Stepping Stones daily... My last Journal entry was on Day 5 - Admitting the Problem (I am on Day 8, and haven't journaled since Day 5) "It's Me and I am Selfish". I have so many BAD WEEDS/SEEDS in my Garden that it doesn't even come close to resembling a garden. It is just a desolate, wasteland full of tumble weeds, rocks and debris. I am reading, listening to chirstian music and really struggling in my prayer life... and I feel like I am force feeding myself... I hate this feeling. I want to run to His word with an open heart filled with expectation and LONGING. I have grown complacent and apathetic. The biggest weed in my garden is LACK OF TRUST and UNBELIEF in God's goodness, faithfulness, and provision. My lack of Trust and Belief is what leads me to all the selfish ways in which I have tried to care and provide for myself. I am currently starting at the beginning of the Bible... I have never read the bible through... and I have struggled to know where to begin... and the thought came begin at the beginning. So I am now on Chapter 21 of Genesis. This is where Abraham is tested by God with his only Son Isaac. Every time I read the bible, I only see how weak and unfaithful I really am. If I would have been Abraham I would have reasoned away what God had told me to do and I have. I would have failed the test and have . I fail daily in my commitments to do the right thing. I feel so bad right now and it's very hard to keep going... because I feel and hear... I am hopeless and I will never measure up or change. There are so many weeds I don't know where to start and I feel really overwhelmed. I need a whole lot of spiritual round-up. Please pray for me that Jesus will become greater in my eyes and my life then my greatest fears. I am full of fear, lack of trust, unbelief, shame, regret and the list of all my weeds goes on and on... I feel really weak and weary. I appreciate all of you here who take the time to read, respond & pray. Being able to pour out my heart helps me to know that I am not alone and gives me the courage and strength to continue. So thank you and God Bless you all!

Rosebud..my sister...as I read through your journal...I couldn't help but notice all the negatives you just posted...but I know there are some positives...can't you find anything good that God is doing in your life? See sis...we struggle...we all do...and the enemy comes and plants negative thoughts...to make us not believe in God and to make us not trust God...but if we sit back and look around we can see God everywhere...He's in you and me...He's in the flowers and the trees...He's in the sky and the moon...He's in the rain and the snow...He's in the ocean and the breeze...He's in the mountains and He's that still small voice you hear speaking softly saying my child I'm here...Grab on to these good things sis...grab on and ride...you can have all you need in life sis...it's waiting...you just gotta seek it...keep reading your Bible...this is going to help you tremendously...let the Scriptures speak to you and your heart...soak them in sis.

Praying for you.

luv ya

Hello Rosebud

God bless you this day.

Pray for a passion for His Word -- The Bible. That's what I did, and He answered my prayers.

I used to not enjoy reading The Bible -- I found it flat and very difficult to understand. Then someone explained that I should ask The Holy Spirit to help me read it and understand it, in addition to pray and ask for the passion. Wooooohoooooo!!! now I love it.

If I may suggest, perhaps you might start reading in The New Testament. The first 4 books of The New Testament are call the 4 Gospels -- they are Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. These books of the Bible, are accounts of Apostles who walked with Jesus, during His 3 1/2 year ministry (in person) here on earth. They are all similar, however, different, because they are personal observances -- and you know how we all see things just a little differently. But, all of them are inspired by The Holy Spirit.

The book of John is so very loving. The others are loving too, but there is something about the way John writes that grips the heart strings. Luke is more detailed, and then the Book of Acts is somewhat of a continuation of the Book of Luke...initially. But, then again, the books of Matthew and Mark are yummy as well.

If your Bible gives scripture references (either below certain verses, or at the bottom of the page) perhaps go and check out those scripture references too. Oftentimes those scripture references will navigate you to the Old Testament too.

I just want to remind you that The Bible is a love letter from our Lord -- a unique journal, of sorts -- yet it is The Living Word -- it is the living, breathing Word of God, and Jesus Himself is The Word. Pretty Cool, huh? And cooler still, over time, The Holy Spirit will start whispering The Word back to you on occasions. You'll hear Him through His Word. Very, Very, Very Awesome!!!

I'm keeping you in prayer. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Sister Mack