Day 9- Changing my lifestyle
Posted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:14 am
I felt a strange sort of peace today.
And relief
Hope, strength.
I just want to be completly free of my bondage to sin.
I want to be baptized
I never have been, but i'v been thinking about it
and i did some research on what exactly the meaning of it is.
I started crying and I wanted nothing more than to be clean, new, and be strong enough to resist the sins that provoke me
Im just scared, what if I can't do it?
I know, I need to stop doubting.
But everytime I'v started feeling better and getting on the right track
I fall back again.
I don't want to this time!
How do i make sure i wont?
One of my concerns is my boyfriend.
He is a really nice good christian guy.
He has his things he needs to work on also though.
One of them being the same as mine.
I talked about in in my first blog entry.
We are both very adamant about waiting until we are married,
but when it comes to other things besides sex, he finds nothing wrong with it.
I do.
I wasn't sure before if it was alright or not,
but im sure now that it's not because God is laying it on my heart to stop. I have no desire to anymore either.
But my boyfriend...i'm not sure if he will understand completly.
No he wont get angry, he won't leave me, he will say ok thats fine.
But he knows how to distract me and what if i give in?
It's happened before and he apoligizes and says its his fault and he feels bad but...
I don't know what to do
that is one sin that holds us both back
how do we turn off that attraction or lust until we are married?
How do we defeat it?
How do I explain that i don't want to anymore?
And relief
Hope, strength.
I just want to be completly free of my bondage to sin.
I want to be baptized
I never have been, but i'v been thinking about it
and i did some research on what exactly the meaning of it is.
I started crying and I wanted nothing more than to be clean, new, and be strong enough to resist the sins that provoke me
Im just scared, what if I can't do it?
I know, I need to stop doubting.
But everytime I'v started feeling better and getting on the right track
I fall back again.
I don't want to this time!
How do i make sure i wont?
One of my concerns is my boyfriend.
He is a really nice good christian guy.
He has his things he needs to work on also though.
One of them being the same as mine.
I talked about in in my first blog entry.
We are both very adamant about waiting until we are married,
but when it comes to other things besides sex, he finds nothing wrong with it.
I do.
I wasn't sure before if it was alright or not,
but im sure now that it's not because God is laying it on my heart to stop. I have no desire to anymore either.
But my boyfriend...i'm not sure if he will understand completly.
No he wont get angry, he won't leave me, he will say ok thats fine.
But he knows how to distract me and what if i give in?
It's happened before and he apoligizes and says its his fault and he feels bad but...
I don't know what to do
that is one sin that holds us both back
how do we turn off that attraction or lust until we are married?
How do we defeat it?
How do I explain that i don't want to anymore?