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Day 1, oh boy
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 6:28 am
by chelle585
So i'm not sure what i'm supposed to write here, but i'm willing to give this a shot. Right now i'm one big ball of emotions. I'm tired of hurting all the time. The Lord is teaching me to bring my hurts and disappointments to Him. I can confess them, even lay them down for a bit, only to pick them up again. Well, i'm just sitting here staring at the blinking cursor so guess I'll just leave it at that for now.
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:35 am
by mlg
Hey chelle welcome to the counseling steps. This is your journal and the thoughts you share here really need to be truthful and honest. That's not always easy...opening up...but you need to try your best in order to receive the complete healing the steps offer. Noone here will judge you...and we hope to encourage you.
Step 1 is to talk about why you chose to do the steps. You stated your a big ball of emotions...but didn't say what is causing all the emotions. Might start there sis.
Praying for you. Glad you are here.
luv ya
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:03 am
by chelle585
I would say the big ball of emotions today is coming from putting myself out there, offering someone friendship and support and getting the the old, thanks...nah, once again. I have huge abandonment/rejection issues, stemming from an abusive childhood. It leaves me feeling unworthy, damaged and unlovable.
Somethings gotta give, somethings gotta change.
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:28 am
by deetu
I know how you feel chelle, I would try sooo hard that I would end up pushing the person away. My husband pointed that out to me, I didn't even realize it.
Once I was saved, my attitude started to change and God worked with me on patience and being unoffendable. Made a big difference and made me able to let things go.
The study is great... something will give
It was once told to me that when you give something to God, it's His and if you pick it up again, you are stealing from God because it is no longer yours to take back.
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:37 am
by Tam
Hi chelle.....
I to had a very abusive childhood. Yes it is hard putting everything out there
But sis let me tell you when you get it out and begin to deal with it and letting God heal your heart, It is well worth it.
Here for you if you need a shoulder.
Keep pressing in sis!
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:50 am
by mlg
Now that's it sis...you just did great...explaining where the emotions are coming from...and it's from things that have happened in your past...and they continue to hold you back...but KNOW this sis...there is Healing ahead....and you are now on your way.
Abuse doesn't have to be an excuse sis...you can overcome...God wants to help you do so...I think you are going to be surprised at how you grow in these steps.
luv ya chelle
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 1:59 pm
by momof3
Hey chelle585..welcome to the cccc forum. You have a wonderful, healing, truth bearing journey ahead of you...its not gonna be an easy one, but the Holy Spirit is with you and will do the weed pulling from your past if you will allow Him to...and work to be honest about them, with Him. He already knows they are there and wants to bring em to the Light so He can heal them. When you feel overwhelmed...like you cant do it, remember, you can, through Christ, who is all the strength you will ever need..and the only One who will never reject you. Humans will...but He wont. Once you begin to understand His love for you...everything else fails in comparison. Gotta learn to live loved, sis..cuz you are.
praying for you and looking forward to walking these steps with you.
in Jesus,
love momo
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:00 pm
by chelle585
Just wanted to thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. I have to tell you all that i'm feeling much better. I was able to turn the situation over to the Lord, fully, by faith. I feel a peace and calmness and for the first time in a while feel like it's gonna be alright.
Thanks so much,
chelle
Posted:
Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:35 pm
by mlg
And it will be alright...you believe it sis and you will receive it. Faith moves mountains...and you are throwing the mountain over the bay
God is smiling on you.
luv ya