Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Ever since I walked away from my faith...I'll come in here sometimes and start to write something. I start to share what's going on with me, pouring out my heart. I confess my sins and regrets and carry on. And everytime I simply delete it and log out and forget about it. But this time I have to post something. I guess I've been trying to ask for help, trying to reach out. But I stop myself. I'm not entirely sure why but I do. Maybe I'm scared of something, or I'm just not ready or...idk. I really don't know. But after what I've done, I have to ask for help. For prayer. I don't feel I deserve anything though. Yet here I am, because I don't know where else to go. I don't know how to talk to ppl face to face very well, especially when I'm so upset and sad. I can't cry in front of ppl. So I come here where I know the ppl are real and care...but I don't have to see them face to face and we don't actually know each other. I'm hiding in plain sight huh Putting myself out there but not really. And I know where I should go, who I need to go to. I know I need to get down on my knees and confess and beg forgiveness and get my life back on track. But I'm just not ready, I can't. I'm terrified, even though I know it doesn't make sense to be. That's just the enemy holding me back, but see, so far I've been pretty good at letting the enemy hold me back. So for now this site and you ppl are as close as I can come to Him.
I just know that I've come to the point where I have to finally change and come to terms with everything. This isn't going to be easy or quick but I'm determined this time. It's time to love me and fix me. Now or never.

Hey sis whitley I've been missing you..welcome home and it's great to see you taking a step towards the right path. It's not easy to share with others what you have been through...and where you need to go...and how you are struggling...

You have some issues that are holding you back for sure...and it's time to begin to break the chains sis...and as you said...you know the direction to the Light....and I want you to know that He is waiting sis...He loves you very much...and He will not force you to come to Him....He wants you to do so willingly.

Praying for you.

luv ya

Hi whitley,

Just wanted to say a few things.

I think it is very courageous for you to come forward and start your way back to Him. It takes committment and determination definately.... but one thing that i feel u should start with is just to let Him love on you and know that every time we come back He is waiting to throw us a big party and we are always welcome into His presence.

You dont need us to do that for you, you can go right to Him, just as u are sins and all. Thats the beauty of His love for us. He loves us that much. Take some time to reflect on how much He loves YOU. Fall in love with our God, He is a good and gracious God that wants the best for His kids. But like any good parent when we do some things that may have missed the mark, He will advise you out of love to change some things...

Glad to see you back here typing, i havent chatted with you much but i have read your posts in the pasts and I just know our Daddy is overjoyed to see you back on this path.

Happy journeys

God bless you sis
♥Jill

Hi Sis...im so glad you are back...and echo what Jill and mlg have said. Just wanna add a few things.

Sis, the enemy definately wants to hold you back. He wants you to think that Christ's blood wasnt enough to cover your sins. He also wants you to believe that you can wait a lil longer..you can hold on to those things, you dont have to do it right now...he tells us all that at one time or another.

You wont see change, or feel change, or be changed until you decide to come to Him as you are and let Him work in you. and it is your choice to do so, He wont force you to it...but He is calling you to Him, just as you are. He loves you so very much and doesnt want you to live one more day in the pain and bondages youve been in. You can only do this with Him..cant do it on your own. Shame may try to hold you back, but thats what He wants to free you from. Flesh may try to hold you back, but that too, is what He wants to heal you from....day to day. Someone told me a while back..its time to get off the fence, you cant have both.

Im so glad you have heard Him and decided to come back and let Him heal you, sis. when it gets tough...or hot through the steps, know that you can do all things through Christ. He has chosen you..answer Him, by choosing Him and dont give up. Youa arent alone..and nothing you have done is too much for Him to forgive.

walking every step with you, dear sister.

In Jesus,
love momo

oh whit, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because you don't believe you can go to God. He's the good guy and is waiting for you.
We are all here for you too
Glad you came back

Thank you to all of you....
I know I can go to Him, and I want to...it's just so hard to let go. I did pray yesterday, which sadly is something I haven't done in a while...for myself anyway.
I just have to go slow and be sure of everything that I'm doing; make sure I'm doing it right. I've fallen away and come back so many times, and this last time was the longest and worst. I know there isn't much time and I'm sure I don't have many more chances, if any. I just feel I have to be careful. Although even as I say that I'm not sure how I mean it. Maybe I'm just making excuses, trying to put it off longer.
The other day when I posted...I had made the choice to quit the things I've been doing. I'm trying to remove all the bad junk....like pulling weeds.
The past months have certainly been ....crazy. I've wasted all this time and spent a lot of it getting wasted. I've been turning into something that I hate, and that terrifies me. I turned my back on everything I believed in, ignored all my own values and standards. I've done all the things that I never thought I would, never wanted to. It's funny but usually even as I was doing this stuff, I didn't want to..I didn't like it...yet I kept going. I was caught up and couldn't stop. But I have to stop now. I can't continue this lifestyle, I hate it and I'm headed for worse. This isn't me, this isn't my life....that's what I've been saying all this time. And I keep asking myself, Where did I go? Who am I?....I was just starting to figure that out..before I walked away. I was learning and accepting who I was in Christ...now I have to find that all over again.....I gotta stop for now.
GB

Hey sis,

Jesus is waiting with His arms outstretched..He wants you to come to Him....He will come running to you...He loves you...He wants to forgive you and He wants you to accept His forgiveness and forgive yourself. He wants to heal you....He wants you to tell Him what's going on and He wants to help.

It's ok sis...you can take that step towards Him...God is merciful...and His grace is sufficient...if you are willing to take hold of His hand.

Praying for you.

luv ya