Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

i happened to saw him (father of my son) on line too, one time when i was studying my counseling THE PATH. It made me bothered up until my time to bed. I'd keep on thinking & thinking of things, of so many things such as "what might he be thinking about me or us with my son by that time?; what if i did had a conversation with him, if that would do good or not?"
how i prayed that it'll just bumped out of my head that time. i felt that i'm not yet still ready to face him or even just to say a word to him. he'd caused me so much pain. he knew it all the way from the start. he knew that he'd taken advantage of my situation when i was having a problem with my first relationship. he was then so strong that he'd insisted himself to me and i didn't had the strength to withstand it (that's the side-part of my problem, being weak sometimes).
i've been so blind. i didn't even noticed that someone's in control of me. i had given all that i have. then he will just going to say that he was so sorry for everything, that he had ruined my life. it's just that? just simple as that?
is it right if i would be wanting to just forget EVERYTHING about him? anything though small or big. (i even thinking of deleting all his photos on my account) funny, isn't it?

Welcome to the Oasis lei , and glad to see you in this forum first thing upon arriving here .

A lot of us , including me , make the same mistake of trying to "solve" all the other issues before we go through these steps first , which , by the way , will do the very thing , find the solution !

Though I do 100% understand your situation , but you will find your answers a lot quicker if you were to follow these steps first .

There will be others to come along after me and be of all the help they can , we are all here for you .

Just hang in there , and for right now don't worry about all the "other" stuff , keep your eyes fixed on our Lord .

once again , welcome .


In Brotherhood of Christ , our Lord
vahn

hello lei

Thanks for sharing sister.

is it right if i would be wanting to just forget EVERYTHING about him?

The truth is, this man is the dad to your child. Im not sure that burning photos, or any such thing will remove him from your thoughts or your life.
Forgetting him may not be possible, but forgiveness is. And I believe what will bring you true peace is to work on forgiving this man for the pain he has caused you. It is necessary for you to be able to move on from this sister.

i've been so blind. i didn't even noticed that someone's in control of me

Its time to allow the Lord to take the wheel.

that he had ruined my life

It may seem that way now, but if you will stay on His path, God will take those things that the enemy meant for evil, and use it for good sister.

HI lei,

Hard situation huh? Ya been there, and these peeps are right. The best thing to do is forgive. I dont know what all the circumstances are of your past relationship with this man. And there are a host of emotions that go along with having a child with a man that is no longer a part of your life be it your decision or his or mutual.

My teens father has never realy been a part of their life, he has always been in and out of jail. He was abusive and i walked away from him, restraining order the whole 9 yards. Married the first man i could find, ya that didnt work out to well 10 yrs later divorced and now a single mom of 3.

So why am i telling you all of this? Well just trying to let u know that u are not alone.

But dealing with my teens father i used to be scared of what if i see him, what if he tries to take my kids from school, what if what if what if...

Do the things you need to do to be safe and forgive, forgive, forgive. Forgiveness doesnt mean that u are condoning what this person has done to you but moreso it is a freedom of being trapped by that unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger. It releases us. It is for us. And once you truly forgive you will feel so free.

Keep seeking Him!

Hang in there sis, stay on these steps

Gb
♥Jill

Hi lei and welcome to Oasis, again.

i cant say much more than whats already been said here other than to add that i read not too long ago something about forgiveness....to forgive someone doesnt absolve them in the eyes of God for what they have done, but it does free you from the prison and bondage in your mind, and gives the right to judge someone back to God.

So many times, me included, we look in all the wrong places for the love we so desperately need and its only later that we find out it was God's love we needed so badly. We have it, we just have to know it and place all of our needs and trust in Him. People will always fail us in some way cuz we are human, but God won't. He is your son's heavenly Father, too. He loves him just as much. He will take care of all of these things you are facing while you seek Him and His will and love for you and your life.

God bless you, lei..praying for you along this path. Keep going. He is right there with you.

in Jesus,
love momo

Hey lei...my prayer for you sis is that you can find healing in Jesus to help you not feel hurt whenever you see this man's name. A lot of the pain comes from unforgiveness for one reason or another...and the inability to let go of the pain. Begin to work on forgiving sis...and growing closer to Jesus. With this combination you can't go wrong....and this will bring you one step closer to receiving the healing you truly deserve.

One step at a time...one day at a time....and on the days you feel like you can't walk...Jesus will carry you.

luv ya sis

Hi Lei...I echo all that is being said here.
I had a dear friend share with me that when things get to hard .....Just today was all I had to think about getting through.
So my leeson for you would be just today , one day, today, just today.
Take it one day at the time one step at the time. Rest in His arms and let Him carry you through.
Keep pressing through sis~