Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Hello,

Today is my first day using a chat/forum room. It's my first journal day. So here goes...I'm lost. I feel like I'm moving backwards. I feel like God doesn't hear me, like I don't exist to Him. I pray alot. I pray for Him to fill my heart with love and peace and joy. I don't feel any of that. Things have been bad for atleast 3 years now...since I got baptized. Satan started a full on attack and hasn't stopped since. I lost my job, my apartment, the man I thought I was going to marry, a BBQ grill blew up in my face, the small group I leaded fell apart...my joy and happiness just ended. I drifted away from the church, still prayed every once in a while but really just tried to do it on my own...didn't work. I've recently started going back to church. I feel good when I'm in the car heading home after the service. I cry, I praise Him, I pray and I feel like He's with me at church. I don't feel that way when I'm just living my day to day life. I feel like I've done so many horrible things that He's just thrown His hands up and said she'll never learn. I'm done with her. Recently my dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. The medical prognosis isn't good. I know God is the only one that can heal him and save him at this point and I have faith He will. I just feel like God isn't listening to my prayers. I'm done trying to do it myself. I'm tired. But is God tired of me? Is He tired of me messing up time after time? I'm 29 and I've had 3 abortions in 11 years. I haven't forgiven myself for any of them. I feel disgusting. I feel like I don't deserve God's love. I know some of you are judging me, but the bible says that I should confess my sins to others. I'm too ashamed to tell anyone I know. I've contemplated suicide, but I fear hell and I fear God's wrath. I want to live a Christian life. I want to live a righteous life. I'm broken. I'm lost. I cry almost on a daily basis. I just want Him in my heart. Please pray for me.

Hello inhishands. I think you could use this Welcome to the Oasis and the Christian Counseling steps. We are so delighted to have you here.

I want to begin by telling you that God has not given up on you. In fact, He is right there beside you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. He loves you very, very much and He is smiling to see that you are beginning the counseling steps. He wants to heal you through the forgiveness that His only begotten Son gave His life for you to have. He also wants to show you how much His forgiveness extends that He even wants you to forgive yourself.

This journey will not be easy, but it's one that is necessary. I will be here for you every step of the way, and so will others. Jesus wants to carry you as you go one step at a time. Change doesn't happen overnight, but if you stay on this path...it will.

I also want you to know, that I totally can relate to not being able to hear God. You know what one of the biggest reasons is that we are unable to hear Him or feel His presence? It's from unforgiveness either towards another or towards ourself. These steps will help you with this, and also they will help you grow closer to Him.

Praying for you, and hope to see you in the chatroom. Again welcome and we are glad to have you as part of our family now.

Take care and God Bless

Thank you so much for the reply. I'm at my office and just broke down. I didn't know how people were going to react to my post. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Sis, you will find nothing but love and support here. I also want you to know that there are many who have been in your shoes. You are not alone in this battle sis. We all face trials that lead us down wrong pathways. But the good thing is that we have Jesus to get us back on the right one.

Keep sharing.

Take care

Welcome to Christianity Oasis InHishands

Sister... after reading your post the first thing or rather person, that came to mind was JOB.

And you know what? I can almost envision satan standing in front of God with a conversation as follows:

God: Have you considered my servant InHisHands? She loves me and she has accepted my Son into her heart and wants to seek My Will in her life now.

Satan: Allow me to inflict suffering upon InHisHands... and see if she doesnt curse you to your face and turn away from you...

Sister? We dont always know what goes on behind the scenes, what leads up to the trials we have to endure. And you certainly are having to endure a lot. But what you can be sure of, is that this is not just by coincidence.

You are under spiritual attack, and satan's goal is to distract you from growing closer to God and living the life He has planned for you and if possible, get you to turn away from God altogether. You gotta see this for what it is and not just what is on the surface.

I cry, I praise Him, I pray and I feel like He's with me at church. I don't feel that way when I'm just living my day to day life.

Do you see the conditions under which you feel the Lord's presence most strongly? In prayer, praise and worship and that must continue into your day to day life. And even when you dont FEEL, you still KNOW that God is with you Its His promise to you.

Sister? I could never judge you, because I have been where you have been and I know first hand the unforgiveness towards oneself that comes with having an abortion. But God forgave me for that sister, and He has been helping me in forgiving myself and I know He will do that for you too. It doesnt matter what you have done, how bad u think it is, how many times... cuz God's Grace is sufficient.

People think that being broken is the worse thing that can ever happen to us... but it is our brokenness that leads us to seek the Only One that can ever make us whole again.

You are on the right path I am here if u ever need a friend, please feel free to send me a PM if u wanna talk ok.

GBU sister

Hi inHishands...wow, its so good to have you here. Please know that God has not nor will He give up on you. You arent here by mistake. He led you here to find truth, sis. His truth..not what the enemy has been telling you all these years.

Im thinking about David right now. Remember that he had one of his most dependable servants murdered so he could have his wife...remember that story? David was still considered the apple of God's eye. How can that be? it wasnt because of who David was, it was because of who God is. God isnt trying to love you...He is LOVE...He cant help but love you. Sis, i too have had an abortion. I too, lived under the guilt and condemnation from not only myself, the enemy, but those who knew about that choice. Thing is with God, His forgiveness is what counts...and there is nothing He wont forgive. You have repented...and the things you have done are no worse than anything anyone else has done. That's what His mercy is all about. When Christ died on that cross...it was enough. It was complete. The trouble is listening the enemy of your soul who constantly condemns.

Thats why Jesus has led you here, sis...to be set free in His truth, in His mercy, and His grace and unending love for you.

So glad you are here sis. the next few weeks wont be easy, but remember, He in you is so much stronger than he in the world.

in Jesus,
love momo

Welcome to Oasis inhishands. I'm excited to meet you and get to know you more.

I can relate to feeling like God isn't there or answering my prayers. Sometimes God doesn't give us want we WANT but want we NEED. Going through trials isn't always a bad thing. As human beings we get closer to god when we are going through trials.

Satan is going attack you because he see you as a threat. He is going to try everything to get you to come back to him.

No one here will judge you because we all have sinned and fallen short. Oasis is a great place to come and confess and get spiritual guidence.

I will be praying for your dad. I will be praying for you too. Hope to see you in chat sometime.

Thank you Lord! I am overwhelmed with tears and joy right now. THANK YOU. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your prayers. Thank God for bringing me here. I feel lighter, better, and in a very short time, by complete strangers...I feel loved. Thank you. You will never know how much I appreciate this. There are truly no words. Thank you and God Bless all of you. I look forward to getting to know you and sharing /exchanging our stories.

Love and Blessings,
inHishands

You are so loved, sis. You are so precious in His sight. Believe. You are so not alone.

In Jesus,
love momo

Oh sis, we loved you the moment we met you. You are our sister now. God brought you here so we could share our love with you. You are a blessing to us already. I can't wait to see how God grows within you.

luv ya

Aw Inhishands you've been through a lot. What a ruff road to travel. I am so glad you were led here to the counseling. You know right there is a sign that God is listening because he does lead people here.
I'm in agreement with what is said here. Forgiving yourself sweetie! What a huge load to carry! You have suffered yourself long enough. It's time to rest in his grace. Yes I hear what you are saying. Three. And more mistakes besides. We are all sinners. We all fall short of his glory. We all need Jesus.

God loves you and so do I. You are going to love this place. This study. And these people. You are right where God wants you. Big hug for you.

Welcome inHishands
I just want to welcome you here sis with a big
You have been through so much but yet I can see how you have continued to press through, even through all the pain you've endured.
One thing I know is this, the Love Our Savior has for You. Nothing you or I could do in our lives would ever cause Him to stop loving us. It's true none of us deserved His love, He just freely gave it to us.
I do not judge you either sis and I know the Lord already forgave you and me when He died on that cross on Calvary. It was out of His great love for us that He chose to lay down His life and die so that you and I could be free, free from all our sin and shame.
I know my Savior Jesus wants you to be free today, free from the heavy burden of guilt and unforgiveness you are carrying in your heart, free that you might have that "abundant life" He came to give You.
(John 10:10)
He hears your every prayer, even though you might not think He does or even if you don't feel it in your heart, He's awaiting for you to come to Him and unload your heavy burdens and care and lay it at His feet.
He says "Come unto me all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matt 11:28
It's free sis, He stands waiting for you with open arms to embrace and to comfort you, to give you His peace in your heart. He won't ever deny you, won't ever turn you away cause you are most precious to Him. He's not tired of you, He has a great plan for your life.
The enemy may have been trying to defeat you, discourage you and cause you to want to give up but you have One greater inside of you and who has gone to battle for your life and Won, no one can snatch you from the Lord's hand.
If you accepted Jesus into your heart as your Lord and Savior, gave Him your life then He is in your heart and will remain forever there. If you haven't then I encourage you sis to give Him your heart today.
You were so brave for opening yourself up here sis, there is no condemantion for those who are in Christ Jesus, you are among family here and as your sister in the Lord, I love you and will be praying for you and your father. He is with you always, we are with you too sis, you are not alone.
Look forward to seeing you in the chat room sis.
His blessings to you.