Christianity Oasis Forum

[bisonfan]

You really want me to admit my problems, I know I have problem I know I have many of them but it is hard to admit them because I have no idea who is going to see the failures I have in my spiritual life. But I know that if I do not let these out then the healing will never begin because there will always be a show of lving the p[erfect life. I know you know you won't judge mr actually no one even could identify me in a line up so I trust God will open my heart to see where these problems lie.

I have a fear of being judged and people not liking me for me so what do I do I have masks where I put on the one that they want to see so that I do not harm them.

I have anger, I do not have anger issues of throwing thngs bit I have anger ay myself and blame everything that happens becauwe I had done it. I have anger that if I had been a done something different things would have turned out better.

I have the problem of faith I cannot accept it because people hurt me and so I quit trusting and therefore I trust noone not even God.

I have the problem of love, I do not believe that I am worthy of love and that I am loved so I give it out but will not recieve it.

I have the problem that I am and can be suicidal because I just want the easy way out.

I know some of these are stupid but they are things I deal with. The hardest is that I have lost my flame for God I was so on fire it was un real and now I have little faith I know I am saved but that is it I do not believe God hears my prayers so I pray for others but not self and I quit really being in God's Word because it has become a bedtime story book, which this is hard to admit because I am a leader and mentor by teaching kindergartens sunday school and 4th grade awanas yet my faith has disappeared. I do not think I am worthy to be in these roles anymore and the church just needs to kick me out the door.

[mlg]

Bison, noone will judge you for your problems. You have problems just like the rest of us do. None of us go without trials and tribulations in our life. I want you to know something though. Suicide is not the answer. It may seem like the easy way out, but honestly sis, it isn't. Suicide leaves behind years of pain for others who care about you. They sometimes blame themselves wondering, what if I could have helped her. Suicide is not what God wants of us either. God wants us to lean on Him instead. The easiest way out.....is to turn to God in the rough times. That is the easy way sis.

I know that you struggle sis, but I also want you to know that you have friends that want to be here for you. We want to listen when you need someone to talk to. We love you very very much and so does Jesus.

I smile sis, to see how far you have come with the counseling steps. You are doing great. Keep it up sis.

luv ya

[comfy]

Hi, Bison Fan . . . interesting name . . . you are a fan of bison? I like them, too. Tough critters who can live and stay warm in the prairy winters with feet of snow and blowing blinding blizzards. But we can keep warm in love, no matter what. And yes we have failed, but we can become warm in spite of this, forgiving ourselves, then having compassion on others who have so failed, even inexcusably >

"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray,
since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)

Now, bison is another word for buffalo, I think. So, may I please call you Buffy, which would come from buffalo (o:

I would love to love you, but I am still so fake, myself, needing so much more of God's correction. So, if I don't love you warmly and tenderly, this is not *your* fault (o: It's not about if you deserve it, because Jesus suffered and died like He did, while we *all* were so undeserving. And this is our cross, including how now we *also* love others who are undeserving, even suffering and bearing for them while they might not appreciate this . . . like how Jesus bore with us while we even could care less.

So, you've got love, whether you want it or not (o:

And those children need you . . . to be an example for them, spiritually, so you can send them how to be in love. If you pull out, you're not doing this. So, now there's no way out except forward . . . we trust You, God, to have mercy on *us*, that You would please correct Buffy and me to become real in Your love so this can go to these needy kids whose own parents may not even know what love is; so we may be the ones You can use to be Your examples. Please encourage Buffy: there is no other choice.

And, Buffy . . . how you can be hard on yourself is nothing compared to how God is correcting me with *His* standards. Punishing ourselves and guilt-tripping our own selves is an escape to avoid *real* correction. When He gets on my case, with rebuking and chastening my selfish Pharisaical nature and faking . . . in comparison to how God deals with me, your self-criticizing and my being hard on myself isn't even in kindergarten (o:

So, give the devil a taste of those horns >

"Therefore submit to God,
resist the devil and he will flee from you."
(James 4:7)

When Satan is upon you with his thorns,
let him reap some *horns*.

But we need to actively seek our Father for *His* correction which will be painful . . . grieving our selfish nature . . . scourging us.

"'For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
. And scourges every son whom He receives.'"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Hebrews 12:6)

"If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:7-11)

So, we are being told to be in subjection to our Heavenly Father and His chastening > to me, this means to actually *seek* God for His correction which will be painful.

And the word for painful in my earlier King James version is grievous. He *grieves* us with His chastening, Buffy. Our selfish self does n-o-t like this, and is willing to have us guilt-trip and beat up ourselves, in order to avoid how God our Father will *really* deal with us and actually make us right in real love which will mean bye-bye to that selfish nature witch would have us commit suicide so it can stay with us for eternity . . . not a good idea.

And you are a *kindergarten* teacher of *God's* word, not just the world's kindergarten to train kids for Satan's culture. So, you are *really* going to get it from Satan, and God also has so much at stake to deal with you about, if you are teaching such young children for their whole lives and eternity. So, no wonder it can be so rough for you. But quitting can send them the spirit to quit. We need to love them by becoming a real corrected example, in us, so this can spread to them > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

Well, this is after what * I * got for correction, this morning. "For our God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12:29) We have fire to warm us, or to burn our behinds if we flee with Satan (o:

With joy . . . glory halleluiah . . . God bless you, Buffy (o:

[lizzie]

Little sister

Each day i see you post, i am more and more proud of you

You are made in the image of God. The masks you have created to hide your true self, were masks that the world wanted you to be.

We are in the world, but not of it.

We have to accept that who we are, might conflict with who the world deems normal, but their perceptions are clouded, blinded by the ruler of this world.

Do not try to please man anymore. Their standards are based on selfishness and shallowness...

Please the Lord by being who He created you to be. You are unlike anyone else, and that uniqueness should be celebrated You are imperfect, just like everyone else, and those flaws allow the Lord to work within you, and help you to be more and more like Him each day.

Dont stop now. Keep going. I am cheering you on little one



I luv u