Day 2
Posted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:09 pmReading day 2 once over , brought back some memo's that confirmed the thoughts I was having all day today , things like " hey, I'm smiling , I'm saying hi AND how are you to people" "I feel light, and my heart's not as heavy" . But of course , when something like that happens Mr, Genius here has to find some kind of a problem with that, right ? So I go " ok vahn , this is it , you're certainly a gonner now . this doesnt happen to "normal people" , they dont react like this so soon , and they usually end up in places they dread all their life like, mental wards . So, being led to this retreat , (which by the way happened to be the best dicission I'd made a long time) so I bee line it to the chapel , and went " Ok Pops, what's up ?
Prayer , and meditation later , I step outside , and I heard this "where're you going ? " I dont know what color I had turned at that time , but I surely felt me knees start to go under me , I didnt dare to turn back , for I was 100% sure there was no one there when I came in , I just simply backsteped it inside and sat down , I'm going " ok Lord, if that be you, please , somehow let me know, I just got done telling You what's going on with me , now if You dont answer , I'm heading to the nearest VA and checking myself in , and just started bawling my eyes out , ( I think they're going to christen that river tommorow) , then I felt this arm on my shoulder and same voice saying are you ready to talk about it now ? I looked , and took the deepest breath I'd taken in my life ,
It WAS A REAL PERSON ! but still, had never met him before , said , "I'd appreciate it if you dont do that again" he said "what ? put my hand on your shoulder ? " I said "no, sneek up on me like that and talk behind me like that, when I'm not looking. He said he was one of the founders of the place , and that he heard someone crying and he walked in , I said ,"no, before that" He said "what's going on ? "
Everything , I mean I told him EVERYTHING -No holds-barred , In some places they call that confession , some call it 5th step (AA) . went at it a good part of 3 hours .
So I rush to the college and share that with you , that If it's God that wants you to talk to some one , you will, whether you want to or not, you talk now , or you talk later , but talk , you will, 'cause after the "session" we prayed again , and he said something of a peeling an onion , "its a lot dryer on the eyes if you were to take it apart one layer at a time , but be forewarned the smaller it gets the more it smells , but at the same time , the smaller it gets the easyer it gets to peel " and then he added , "I didnt know anyone was here till I heard you"
Prayer , and meditation later , I step outside , and I heard this "where're you going ? " I dont know what color I had turned at that time , but I surely felt me knees start to go under me , I didnt dare to turn back , for I was 100% sure there was no one there when I came in , I just simply backsteped it inside and sat down , I'm going " ok Lord, if that be you, please , somehow let me know, I just got done telling You what's going on with me , now if You dont answer , I'm heading to the nearest VA and checking myself in , and just started bawling my eyes out , ( I think they're going to christen that river tommorow) , then I felt this arm on my shoulder and same voice saying are you ready to talk about it now ? I looked , and took the deepest breath I'd taken in my life ,
It WAS A REAL PERSON ! but still, had never met him before , said , "I'd appreciate it if you dont do that again" he said "what ? put my hand on your shoulder ? " I said "no, sneek up on me like that and talk behind me like that, when I'm not looking. He said he was one of the founders of the place , and that he heard someone crying and he walked in , I said ,"no, before that" He said "what's going on ? "
Everything , I mean I told him EVERYTHING -No holds-barred , In some places they call that confession , some call it 5th step (AA) . went at it a good part of 3 hours .
So I rush to the college and share that with you , that If it's God that wants you to talk to some one , you will, whether you want to or not, you talk now , or you talk later , but talk , you will, 'cause after the "session" we prayed again , and he said something of a peeling an onion , "its a lot dryer on the eyes if you were to take it apart one layer at a time , but be forewarned the smaller it gets the more it smells , but at the same time , the smaller it gets the easyer it gets to peel " and then he added , "I didnt know anyone was here till I heard you"