Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I spent some time with my wife yesterday. There were some things brought up about our faith. I told her that I felt the key to happiness started with forgiving others and yourself. Not a new topic of discussion by any means. When we first meet, she told me that she had an abortion. She said the doctors said there was a great chane the child would be born with major health issues and most likely would not survive the first year.I have never experienced pain like that. I have felt physical pain that would make some people pass out from it.She wept as she spoke saying she didn't want that to affect the way I felt towards her. Well,I don't think it did. That was over 10 years ago when she told me. It was brought up about some choices we had made earlier in life. Drinking, porn, cheating, adultery. We have both done all of these, forgave each other. The forgiving ones self part, that's a work in progress. We have forgiven ourself of lots of things. I keep asking myself why I did the stuff I did.(more on that in a minute) I know we are both getting there. Pray for us.



I guess it's mans on selfish nature that causes him to do wrong. The quick fix aspect of the world has sank deep into the hearts and minds of us.All of us. You.Me. All of us. Make no mistake about it. The "original sin" lives on today. Look at tv for example. Infomercials on Male enhancement and college girls seem to be everywhere. Ads for Victoria's Secret. Ads about upgrading your Directtv to high def. Movies on late night movie channels(cimemax become skinamax). Oh, don't let me forget about our buddy the internet. Provacative things all over the place and easy to acess it. Naked pics. Sexual videos. IT"S DANG EVERWHERE!!!! Go to the mall. Girls wearing clothes so tight they look painted on. Stores catering to this.I mean , come on, enough already. I feel like I'm about to blow up. All this stuff!!!!!!!!!

So, I'll get to me. Some, or should I say 99% , of the thing I have done was to fit in or to keep from being lonely. Maybe both at the same time.If my buddies were doing it I was gonna do it too.I wanted to be acepted so bad. I never went to parties with them or to the strip club. I knew I would feel out of place. Why didn't I have the same feeling towards the bars and night clubs. Girlfriends were few and far between. I'm a decent looking guy. But I wasn't a jock or a rich kid. I just went to school and to work.I had this friens tell me she wanted to introduce to a friend of hers. This girl was going through a divorce and needed a friend. Tag Tim, your'e it. We wnet on to become engaged before the divorce was even close to being final let alone filled. I have had girlfriends cheat on me but I never cheated on them. Was this to make me see how the cheaters worked?? Or was it to make me see I hadn't found the one HE made for me??We would go off to a hotel for a few hours of "alone time".Did this quite often.Then one day she said we need to talk.I knew what about. She said we needed to call the thing off.MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I saw it coming and didn't try to stop like I had in the past.I guess getting hurt all the time made me numb to the pain it can cause.Even recently. I would get that "feeling" and the wife was at work,so, instead of waiting, I went to my old buddy internet. Found some pretty pictures to look at as I did what I needed to do. Nameless faces doing things to tantilize the mans fantasy. But now..........I see the wrong of all of it.

This all was a plan. All of the things I did was to prepare me for now. To make me the child HE created me to be. I have learned form all of it. I have seen the other side and I know what it has to offer. It's great for a while but you still are left wanting more. I don't want to come off like I'm preaching, wait. Yes I do. I am preaching. To me. And to all who read this.You can't talk about it unless you have walked down that road.i have friends. I have seen the other side and what it has to offer. Th emore you go there, the more you want to keep going. That's when HELL prevails. You have to see the other side in order to make the right choice. You have to see the wrongness of adultery,whoremongering, excessive drinking and self pleasure to know about the ill affects of it. You have to walk that road in order to find your way home. You have to see it to believe it. You have to do it to understand it." I've been there. That's why I'm here." I have done it and seen it with my own selfish eyes. I was so hell bent on fitting in and being liked by everyone that I didn't see the wrong of it untill now. I never realized I was killing myself in the eyes of God. I never thought that it was wrong, it just felt good. I now see the error of my ways. I now see that I was on a oneway street that lead to damnation.I was on a collision couse with the Devil. I was going the wrong way in a hurry. I HAVE SEEN THE PAIN AND FELT ITS FURY!! I KNOW I WANT IT NO LONGER!!! I KNOW IT WAS WRONG IN THE EYES OF GOD!!!!

Father, I have been sinful. I now see the error of my ways. I can now forgive me for all I have done. I ask that you forgive me as well. I ask you , oh Lord, to make me stronger in this ongoing battle of the world that is against You. I ask that You help me to let others learn from what I have done . I ask You to reach out and touch all of those in my past and let them see the Light. I wish no ill on them. I wish only that You open there eyes to see the good that You have done and continue to do. I ask that You, oh Lord, be with me and my fellow children on this path to be strong and true to all that is right and god. I ask you to be with my new friends here at the oasis. I ask You to be with all the troops that are defending us here and on foriegn soil. I ask that You give help to those that have not seen the light.Please be with our newly elected president that he will do the things that will help us be stronger as a nation in Your service. Be with my family, be they blood, work, oasis, or church and keep them in Your good grace. All this I ask in the name of your Son Jesus Christ!!
AMEN!!!!

Praise God you have seen the light and are on your way to healing. Your marriage is just going to keep blossoming.

It may get a bit rocking as the two of you work things out, but it's so worth it.

Prayers for you and your family.

God bless you!

Bigred,

I'm so glad you were led here to Oasis. It wasnt by accident. I wanted to welcome you to the family. In reading your posts Im reminded of Paul..how he talked about doing that which he would not, and not doing that which he wanted to do. Oh, wretched men (and women) that we are. We are daily in need of Jesus, and His forgiveness and guidance. He takes those experiences we have had..all of them, and uses them in our lives and in the lives of those around us. He said that all things work together for the good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) Its not only the good things, but even the choices and experiences we have had in our struggles that He uses. He's never taken His eyes off of you. He knew you from before the foundations of the world....and He knew the choices each one of us were and are going to make.

Forgiving ourselves isnt easy. We have an enemy who loves nothing more than to accuse us of the things we have done. By doing this, he tries to keep us from believing in this forgiveness we have been been given. I made a choice to do something several years ago that the enemy loves to remind me of. Thing is, when we repent, our Father remembers it no more..it's gone and He never looks at it again. Ive asked myself over and over...if God, Himself can forgive me for that, who is it that is accusing me? and are my thoughts lined up with what God says? There is so much freedom in God's forgiveness; remember that our fight is against principalities...our fight is spiritual. We are called and our minds are being transformed daily. One day at a time, one weed at a time. Remember that His grace is sufficient for you.

Keep going and fight the good fight, dear brother. You arent alone in this.

In Jesus,
momo

Bigred, you said it my friend. You had to go through those things in order for you to finally reach out to God and know that He is there for you, and wants you to follow in His pathway. Before when you were running around doing all those things, you had no clue what God could do for you, much less did you even care, but now as things have come back to you and made you open your eyes, you are seeing what God has done for you. Oh and my friend it gets so much better....He's gonna do even more for you as you grow in Him.

You and your wife are beginning to work together, and this just blesses me to see. It's good to see you both beginning to forgive one another and yourselves. Keep each other accountable as far as forgiving yourselves. This will help when Satan comes back whispering his little lies to you about why you shouldn't forgive yourself. And he will I can assure you. Just remember God has forgiven you, and now you need to. This will give you peace in your life and the new life you have been offered is what you are now beginning to grow into.

Another thing, all those past addictions you so easily fell into the alcohol, the porn etc. The more you fight to stay away from these things the easier it will become. The reason is you will come to find all these things repulsive and you will immediately turn your head. But that is only over time, so keep fighting the good fight.

Praying for you and your wife.

Take care luv ya

Hi, Tim!

Yeah, there are soooo many temptations out there! It's really gotten out of control. It's ok by society to put that stuff out there, but bring up God or Jesus and watch out! You are in big trouble now!

That's why we need Jesus so much. We need to make Him the center of our lives and keep our eyes focused on Him to stay strong.

Let go of the guilt that you feel about what you've done in the past. You can't change it. You asked for forgiveness. He has given you forgiveness for the sake of His son, Jesus. Receive His forgiveness in thanks and praise.

Hanging onto the guilt will prevent you from growing in Him and will bring you down. Let it go. Give it to the Lord and let it be. Learn from it, but don't keep reliving it. The Lord wants you to be free to be what He wants you to be.

God bless you, Tim! Receive His forgiveness and love!



flutie