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I don't know how this is gonna sound so here goes. I posted "LONG ROAD BACK" in the Memmber Testimonies board.Now, I'm gonna get a little deeper. I have been through some dramatic things over the years. I saw a co-worker get his arm crushed.That got me pretty hard. Good guy who now has lost something that he needed to get by. I came close to losing my left foot a few months after that. Steel cut clean to the bone. Yes, it hurt. I've lost my dad.I've lost friends, family. I lost my self to the devil. Started looking at porn on the internet.Nothing with kids mind ya. I kept asking God for help. But even then I still did the crazy stuff I was asking help with.I know drinking is not good. I had a doctor tell me a beer here and there will keep my kidney stones from coming back.That has worked for 8 years now.Problem is, time to time one or 2 won't do. Needs to be 5 or 8 or......Whiskey to kill of a cold or just to have some. I was, like the Merele Haggard song says, rolling downhill like a snowball heading for hell.It got to where when we were at church , I felt like I didnt't belong. I felt so worthless. I felt like I was just going to be going. More naked pics online.Then videos online. I felt like I was cheating myself.Myspace. That was where some of the things came to a head. An old girfriend found me on there. She was just wanting to catch up and be friends. But , I kept hearing a voice telling me to watch my back. I stopped going to church. I started drinking when I played golf. Not paying attention to much of anything. But, then it became clear.

I have a great life,wife , family. I don't need to be a bonehead and ruin it.I kept hearing that voice.Telling me I knew better than this. I guess it took being so drunk I could not hold a golf club let alone hit a ball to wake me up from the funk.I decided right then and there I had to make a change. I told friends to refrain from sending me dirty text messages and jokes. I told the old girlfriend and all my friends that I was re-focusing on the Lord Jesus. I got back into church, even though at a new place. They make us feel welcome. Even asked me what I would be willing to do in worship services. I don't know if I can get up in front of people or anything like that. But, with some support(hint,hint), I may do it.I haven't looked at anything out of the way online in going on 2 months. I feel so much better about me. I feel closer to God now than I ever have.I'm gonna take the steps of this program very carefully. I know there are some awesome people here. I know I will get some support. I will do my best to support those who are doing this as I am.

You gotta crawl before you walk,and walk before you run.

GOD BLESS!!
Tim

Bigred,

Welcome to the Counseling program. Sounds like you have strayed away from the Lord, but are slowly returning to Him and His love and Will for your life. For this I thank Him!!!

I want you to know that Jesus is much bigger than any of the past temptations you are letting go of. From the alcohol to the porn. Just think of the Lord anytime Satan tries to bring those temptations up. Sounds like so far, you are leaning on Jesus and doing a great job at fighting the good fight.

This program you have started is wonderful in helping you grow and explore your relationship with Christ. It will not only draw you closer to Him, but will bring out the meaning of things you just can't imagine.

Hope to get to meet you in chat sometime.

Take care and God Bless

Hi, bigred! Whooooooooo hooooooooooo! Another one for Jesus! Welcome back, my brother.

I am so excited for you. The further you get into Him, the easier it will be to resist the temptations.

We have a forum for addictions that you may benefit from. It is called "Real Solutions" Maybe you will find some assistance there. Some really good posts.

God bless and keep you close to His heart.

Bigred my friend We have missed ya here...

I want you to know that you will not be judged for anything you share with us here, cuz none of us are perfect and God loves us flaws and all.

I tell ya... the world is out to get us... And it is serious business. Everywhere you turn these days is a temptation and those who are struggling to overcome have to be very alert to these temptations. They will never go away, as long as we are in the flesh. So we must be sober and vigilant.

You are doing exactly what you should do. Focusing your attention away from those unrighteous things, and on to things of the Lord. And God will use you if you are willing. He will take those trials and struggles and turn them into something good for His purpose.

Your family here is in full support of you brother And I know that God has some even more wonderful things in store for you Keep on the path.

GBU always

You guys are making me cry. Tears of joy that is.

And we love you and Jesus loves you more.

Amen, mlg.

I am proud of you red for taking a stand for Jesus Christ and not listening to the enemy! I am delighted to know that you are
accepting the mistakes that you have done and to learn from them and is growing to give Jesus all the Glory that He deserves!

I am sure your wife is proud of you as well and has your back and is supporting you the best way she knows how.

I have had 3 different guys in my life that were addicted to porn and one of them was my ex husband.. it broke our marriage up cause his porn and meeting with this woman and living with her was more important than our marriage. I am sure your wife is hurt and feels rejected, but time will heal you both.

Continue to put God first in your life and in your marriage and trust in HIM.. and your marriage will be a new one with a fresh start in Him!

God Bless You Red!!! Love ya buddy!!