Christianity Oasis Forum

[Angelbaby5460]

She feels so numb... She feels like nothing matters... She dont know why she feels this way she just does... She sheds all these tears yet no one sees... She knows these tears are cries for help yet no one hears no one cares... Shes so close to calling it quits and ending it all... She dont know what to say or do anymore not that it matters...

[mlg]

oh have I been there recently...that feeling that noone cares...when they really do care, but we are so wrapped up in the misery and pain of how We are feeling that we can't feel what others are feeling for us.

Calling it quits and ending it all never solves anything but just creates more problems for everyone involved...don't be selfish...that isn't you....you care about others...so show them...

Finish the step. Come on YOU can do this....Jesus is waiting to help you...Let Him.

luv ya

[Angelbaby5460]

So thinking I am going to walk away from the counseling thing for now... Need to wait til I am a lil stronger... No I do not want to be numb forever... I want to find joy...

[Dora]

Walking away will not heal it.

It is going to hurt, but you can't hide from the pain forever.

On the other side is peace and joy. You can't get to the other side with out dealing with what is causing you this struggle.

Your choice. I'm praying you choose the one that leads to Gods will.

luv ya

[mlg]

Need to wait til you are stronger? Jesus has enough strength for both of you....but I will say you won't ever heal as long as you are allowing yourself to make decisions based upon how you feel or what you think instead of asking God for His help.

luv ya

[Guest]

Quiting is not an option here. If you want peace in your life you can't give up. All you are doing is showing the devil how easy it is for him to defeat you and I bleieve that is not what you want. Every time we give up we get deeper into the things that bother us and it makes it harder to get out. What if Jesus gave up when he was tempeted for 40 days? We would have no chance of getting into heaven. It is up to you what you want to do but I don't think that you realy want to give up. God gave us free will I just hope and pray that you will continue on the path of recovery.

Exodus 14:14 (NIV) The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Psalms 108:13 (NIV) With God we will gain the victory, and He will trample down our enemies.

Romans 8:31 (KJV) What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us.

Philippians 4:13 (KJV) I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me

You try you fail, you try you fail but the only true failure is when you stop trying.

Hang in there and Keep pressing in
GBU B.B.B.

[momof3]

sis, walking away is the easy way out. walking away today makes it easier to walk away tomorrow, too...and the day after and the day after that......endless numbness, endless emptiness. That "she" is you. That "she" is that little girl in you who KNOWS there is more to life, but is afraid to walk a tougher road. She will stay where she is till you decide that Jesus has already freed her and till you allow her to feel His love and know His mercy. Which voice are you going to listen to? It is time to let Jesus, He who died for you because of His love for you, heal you. It is time to know that you are not strong..but He in you, is.

praying with you. this is a battle sis. this is a fight. you are so much more than you know......He created you...He knows.

in Jesus,
love momo

[sweetlittleangel]

Angel baby

we are always here for u. Keep posting. And when u are ready..

Just wanma let u know, i have start with writing my proposal aredy. Was nearly quit. But now im totaly surrender trusting in God where He gonna take me. My future in His hand and so is yours too angelbaby. We not gonna leave ya. Please dun leave us too. I know u feel weak right now..remember He is strong when we are weak. Please allow Him to move in ur situation and please let Him to demonstrate His power in u. Love u always.

[Angelbaby5460]

I know you all are right I am quitting just to take the easy road thats me thats how I have always been but thats going to change. Step 2 means bringing up the past and with that comes complete defeat. The attacking will begin to be unbearable and I hope I have the strength to not do something I will regret. Step 2 is basically removing "weeds" to be able to place stepping stones. So as I am fighting to remove these weeds I may need a little help from everyone just to keep me strong and accountable throughout this program so to say. As I was walking home yesterday I was thinking about how I could write this as to should I do things in order or just write things as they come to mind. So I decided to do the easiest and just write things as they came to mind. So the first thing that comes to mind is the self harm. The self harm started when I was 14 it first started with me just poking myself in the shoulder a couple of times with a sewing needle. Then it became more and more and harder until I discovered that if I ran scissors over any part of my body while pressing them down it felt "better." Well the scissors eventually gave way when I discovered blades or razor blades. They are easier you know being that they are sharper and don't take much to make you bleed. Its such a relief and at first I had complete control over it and now it has complete control over me but I am getting that control back. Its been almost 3 weeks now and each day is such a struggle it doesn't get any easier. Most people don't understand cutting and don't realize that it is an addiction. And don't understand that when someone is in that zone they aren't thinking about anything else but cutting or harming themselves your almost incoherent about your surroundings and the things going on around you kinda like as if you were drunk. Which I guess leads me to drinking which by the way I have been doing really good with so not much to say there. So on to the next thing smoking, I have pretty much quit but still light one up if I get too stressed. Now the tougher things that I really cont seem to completely let go of because they hurt me so bad and that would be the rapes and the abuse. Abuse from so many people all my life including from my parents. And then the several times I was drugged and raped by an ex. I know its time to let go and move on and this time I am really going to try hard to. But I am always going to keep in mind that the abuse and rapes are always going to have an affect on my life and I just have to be strong and not dwell on it.

[deetu]

Angelbaby, we are here for you

You are right, the abuse and rapes will never go away, but you will find a different way of remembering them that they will not hurt or influence you in the wrong way anymore.
There are two women I know of who went through the same as you. Today, they mighty women of God who easily speak of their experiences as examples to help others. Joyce Meyers and Patricia King.

What we go through, God uses for good. So pull out those hurtful weeds!

I feel so proud of you angel. You didn't give up and quit.

[mlg]

Wooohooo sis...so now you've pulled some weeds...So proud of you and God is truly smiling...ok so now you need to plant some good seeds. Have any thoughts on some good seeds you want to plant?

The cutting, alcohol, smoking...etc those things are all stress relievers you use for a quick fix to the pain that is the root of the problem which is the rape and abuse....but the permanent fix comes from Jesus and His strength, and I've seen you begin over the last few weeks to truly find that this is better than the quick fixes.

Keep sharing sis...so weeds are being pulled...how about planting some seeds?



luv ya so very much

[Guest]

I am glad that you decided not to give up. Sometimes we all need that extra little push to keep us going. You will do just fine, you have God on your side and your family here at oasis. I don't know much about you situation but I will be keeping you in my prayers. Just one thing, don't be afraid to reach out and talk to someone. Talking is a wonderful way of release other wise when we let things bottle up inside it hurts more.

keep pressing in and exspect a miracle.
Let Go and Let God
One day at a time

GBU
B.B.B.