Christianity Oasis Forum

[bisonfan]

What an amazing God I have to proclaim right now.

this is the step that I stopped at because I could not get past it last time. But this no longer true.

Many years ago I have forgiven my biological father because he was jsut drunk and my ex because he was just controlling and I needed it to end. But I could never forgive my father (or should I say my biological father) that is until tonight after talking to my mom. I hate to say it but I cannot go outright and say I forgive you for wht you did because that would cause conflict but I know he is forgiven. One thing in therapy my therapist told me to really talk to my mom about my relationship with my dad and how I felt he stopped loving me when I was 18, how he never shows love, how he is emotionally abusive, and how do I know he really did love me. Come to find out that he sacrficed his time on sunday to come to the hspital for family therapy beacuse he really wanted me to come home because I was his. I found out that he does love me because he may not express it when ever he says anything he is proud to point out he has three daughters and not just the one. She said he was so concerned about me because on monday I seem normal and then the thing he knows I am in the hospital and is hurt that I am in such pain. He found out that I was cutting and asked why and mom told him why and he says he really does want me to not have the mask of the perfect daughter but let him see I have manic and depressive episodes and to be patient with him regarding meds. As mom and I were talking I got to know my dad better and I have asked God for me to forgive him for the abuse and hurt he has caused. I know life will not get better immediately but we are going to build a family together again.

Today I was finally able to forgive myself for losing my faith and dedication to God that when rough times happen as they do it happens so the best thing to do is still continue in old routines and God will bring me back my flame there is no guilt in no longer being strong.

[mlg]

Forgiveness is definitely the key to joy sis. When we are able to openly and freely forgive...it brings us freedom. Forgiveness is not for the other person, so much as it is for us. We forgive so we can heal. God is proud of you sis. He is smiling on you. Keep doing the steps. You are doing great.

luv ya