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ITS ALL IN MY HEAD

Postby seeking1234 » Wed Dec 19, 2012 9:46 pm

3 DAYS AGO I HAD MADE UP MY MIND TO SEEK HELP AND QUIT USING..YESTERDAY I ATE AND SLEPT .. TODAY I JUST HAVE MY HEAD ABOVE WATER ... IT SEEMS LIKE I CANT FUNCTION WITH OUT METH. THAT IS PRETTY SAD.. I AM DEBATING ON GOING TO GET SOME .. THIS IS SO HARD. FIRST I SAY I WANT TO QUIT FOR GOOD , THEN I RECOVER A FEW DAYS AND MY MIND CHANGES. NOW I FEEL LIKE ITS NOT TOO BAD THAT I CAN CONTROL MY USING. WITCH ONE IS IT? I GUESS I HAVE A FEW PERSONALITIES IN MY HEAD. I AM FRUSTRATED FIGHTING THIS ADDICTION.. I WENT TO A NA MEETING AND I DIDNT FEEL LIKE IT WAS FOR ME. I WILL KEEP LOOKING AND HOPEFULLY FIND ONE THAT I FEEL COMFORTABLE IN. TODAY IS ALMOST OVER AND I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS IN MY HEAD ... ANXIETY AND GUILT. HOW LONG AM I GONNA LET THIS DRUG CONTROL MY LIFE ... I FEEL SO LONELY , I WISH I HAD A MAN THAT CAN JUST HOLD ME AND WHERE I CAN FEEL SAFE AND PROTECTED. I HAVE NOTICED THAT WHEN I AM IN "LOVE" OR INTO A GUY, I WANT TO DO GOOD AND I QUIT UNTIL fudge GOES WRONG, THEN I GO BACK TO USING.... ANYWAYS .... IF ANYONE THAT READS THIS HAS ANY INFO ON A PROGRAM IN FONTANA THAT HELPS PEOPLE WITH ADDICTION PLEASE LET ME KNOW CUZ I AM WILLING TO TRY DIFF THINGS TO STAY SOBER... THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT..
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Re: ITS ALL IN MY HEAD

Postby LaSombra » Wed Dec 19, 2012 10:08 pm

Go back to NA. Try doing three meetings a week. Different meetings, different days. God bless.
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Re: ITS ALL IN MY HEAD

Postby redbandit » Sun Dec 30, 2012 8:28 pm

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the agony you must be feeling! I can't say I know what it its like to have your specific addiction, but I am on several narcotics (prescription) which have gotten VERY addictive. I have trouble functioning with daily life. If you ever want to message me, feel free!
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows; it empties today of its strength.”

Corrie ten Boom
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Re: ITS ALL IN MY HEAD

Postby Ruths_daughter » Sun Dec 30, 2012 11:11 pm

Just my opinion and suggestion, 11 years sober & clean, FIRST THING- Cry out to God for HELP!!!! Ask him from the bottom of your soul. Then next suggestion, someone else said it, but I'd like to increase that idea. 90 meetings in 90 days... no excuses. If you used every day, go to a meeting every day. In fact, if you have time on your hands, go to more than one meeting a day if you can. Go to AA & to NA. The reason I suggest AA is because they have a less relaxed meeting. It is more geared on less hugging interruptions and more on the solution and less on the drug of choice. (The only requirement to attend a closed AA meeting is the desire to stop drinking. ANYONE can attend open meetings.) Grab a sponsor who has a couple of years of recovery and is a spiritual , dig your heels in tight and work the program. STICK with the WOMEN. A relationship can be just like using because we can use it for a "feel good" situation and try to get the "warm fuzzies". We need to get our own life straightened out BEFORE we add another person into the equation. If you MUST have a man, let it be Jesus because He's the ONLY guy who will EVER never let you down, who will love you when you're unloveable and who will help you out of the mess.

There are AA Clubs where you can go when you don't feel safe alone or are tempted to use. you can go there and just hang out to talk, or attend meetings when meetings are in session. Your church pastor might be able to offer some insights of someone in the church who has been though the same situation. If there is a Salvation Army in your area, call them and ask them where their Harbor Light Corp is. Go there and sign in for detox & recovery. Ask the AA or NA groups where the best recovery home for women is. Bring it up in a meeting and get several ideas, write them down and then call those recovery homes to find out what the requirements are. You can go online and in the Google search feature, type in AA / NA meetings, Fontana. That should bring up the list of meetings in your area.

I'll be praying for you. Keep us posted how you're doing.

I'll be praying for you.
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Re: ITS ALL IN MY HEAD

Postby seeking1234 » Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:55 am

THANK YOU FOR YOU ADVISE.. I DID START GOING TO MEETINGS AND MET A FEW NEW FRIENDS... I HEARD TESTIMONIES THAT WERE SO UNBELIBABLE.. MOTIVATING.. MANY WORST THAN ME AND THEY MANAGED TO STAY SOBER.. I HAD 11 DAYS CLEAN AS OF YESTERDAY.. TODAY WILL BE A FRESH NEW DAY AND I WILL CONTINUE MY MEETINGS .. I DO FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW. IM MORE EMOTIONALLY STABLE AND MORE DRIVEN. LIFE DOES GET EASIER WHEN SOBER...

THANK YOU FOR ADVICE AND SUPPORT *AngelYellow*
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