Christianity Oasis Forum

[akita777]

I am so sorry to hear of your break-up. It's hard sometimes when we don't understand the "why's" of life. Why now, why me, why did he not end it sooner? Maybe then you would not have been so attached. I am married(19yrs. almost) My marriage has gone through many trials and once my wife left me for 2 weeks with the kids. Still through God's grace we are still married and we still have our problems. For the most part we have grown by leaps and bounds(I hope). There was one time in our marriage when my wife was going through a time of deep depression. She got help and her question was why does she treat me so bad? I can tell you that this has been two-sided always. We love each other and we also make each other sad at times. But, we have never quit, praise the Lord!

The reason I tell you this is because. A man that can turn off his feelings in such a short period of time has major issues in his life to deal with. This is truly not about you, you were just caught in the traffic of a life that has problems. It seems to me he is not ready to work on himself. I can tell ya, better to have a man that wants to be better than one you have to convince needs help 5 yrs. down the road. The fact is, we all need help, it's just some admit to it, like you and some don't and they hide behind a false mask of being "ok" when really they are hurting just as much as everyone else.

This is where love comes in. Love does not run and hide it stays with the problem and works through it. Abandonment is not a solution. This is just my opinion, so take what you like and leave the rest. Maybe this guy is not the guy God wants for you. Maybe in God's mercy he has spared you many years of heartache. Blessed be his name

Remember everything you feel for this guy can be directed towards the one that never leaves and never forsakes. That of course is Jesus. Hang on to him with all you have. As one friend once told me. I'm betting the farm on Jesus. Pretty good odds don't ya think?

peace and joy to you sister

Steve

[akita777]

One more thing....

1Pe 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 1Pe 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.1Pe 5:8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1Pe 5:9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.1Pe 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.1Pe 5:11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

[Piccolo80]

I did a really stupid thing lastnight. I gave in to the flesh. I had a great night my now ex came out to support me at my concert(im a musician). He hugged me was so proud I lost myself and decided we should celebrate. Two drinks later...and now I feel so bad. I have asked God to forgive me. I dont know if I can forgive myself though. This wasnt how things were suppose to be

[Christnundrconstruxn]

IHello Sis,
I'm so sorry we men are so self centered, as for what you said about anger I know your feeling, I had a moment or two like that when me and my wife seperated a year and a half ago, one that really caught me off guard was the day I went to her and ask if she thought there was any hope for our marriage and she coldly said No with no hesitation....talk about ripping your heart right from your chest, we continued to talk until I couldn't take it anymore I HAD TO GET OUT!!! I all but ran out the door and got into the van and balled my eyes out....it was at that point I found out just how much abuse a steering wheel can take, but the part that hurt me the most is I even lashed out at God, I knew it wasn't His fault I was in this mess but I couldn't understand why when I was doing EVERYTHING I could think of to save my marriage He was allowing it to fall apart, I felt SOOOO BAD I had said things to God that I hated saying, I cooled off and later begged for His forgiveness for things said NOT for being angry but what I said you see I was told something awhile before this from a friend, "do you think God wants you to be fake with him.....no right....well do you think He doesn't know when your angry or even upset with Him because of things going on, do you think He wants you to sugar coat it or be real, NOW this does NOT mean you have the right to but you think He doesn't know".
THIS changed how I chose to talk with God, I started being more "real" with Him and not sugar coating

I too have a thing about being alone, it amazes me how some can just go with the flow and even seem to forget ( my wife)
I know she has her moments but with me it would be easier to say there are a few times I don't have my moments through out the day, but even when we were together I was starving for a certain kind of affection and she didn't give it, so bad got worse, I have faked it and told myself and others "I don't love her anymore" and things like that but truth is I would do anything even to have it just like it was not even better, I HATE BEING ALONE!!!
I have a long walk to get onto the path God has for me but one thing for sure I'M NOT GOING TO TURN AROUND I will keep going until one day I am where He wants me to be.

PLEASE take care of yourself, do not let satan win that way, by destroying the beautiful person God created you to be!
It's weird with me I actually went the opposite way most men go when seperated, I started to gain a little before we split but in the last 2 years I have gained over 60 lbs I can't breathe or have no stamina, I hate where I have allowed myself to go, I pray that soon I will find the strength through God to change alot of what I have done wrong and become what He put me here to be weather I'm alone or not!
Just remember God WILL see you through, God loves you and so do we!!
Cuc

[Piccolo80]

Im having a hard time letting go when im being told "i love you but I dont deserve you. I dont deserve to be happy cant love you as much as you do me and dont want to lead you on". Such a hard time.

[akita777]

Do you think we say that to God sometimes? Ya know, sorry I just can't love you the way you do me, so why try? I bet it breaks his heart to hear that too. I know I have said it to him. So, he shows me that really I can't love him the way he does me, but he is teaching me to be ok with not being perfect. Sorry for your hurt, I pray God will give you peace and clarity about this and that he would show you how happy he is with you and that his love is unconditional.

Steve

[Piccolo80]

You know I wonder if I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle. I've prayed so hard for peace, patience, understanding, and a sign that me and my now ex fiance were meant to be. Well, now stranger things have happened and I've found myself giving my attention to someone else. I don't know if it is a sign. It's refreshing yet scary at the same time. A friendship is all I can have right now yes but this is just so unexpected.

The only comforting thought is that I'm not lonesome anymore. NO we aren't seeing each other. We just chat.

[Diane]

Hi Piccolo,
Been thinking of you and praying
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek His will in all you do
and He will direct your paths.

Have a blessed day!
Diane

[Dora]

I'm glad to hear you are not struggling with being lonely. A new friendship can be like a freshness in the air after a rain.

Keep seeking your relationship with Him (Christ Jesus) as He is the one who will be there 24/7 to comfort, heal, protect, and bless you. After all He longs for you.

How are the cccc steps going?

God bless and keep you.

[Lani]

Hi Piccolo

Blessings to you this day. Wanted to take a moment to let ya know I stand in prayer on your path toward healing.

Also, I can only encourage what Pine has shared.
It is awesome that God has given you a friend to travel this journey, but for now please find fire to continue path of healing and Hope in Christ. He alone is the only man without flaw or fault and when your strength is in His love, NOTHING can stand in your way. Allow this new friendship to grow in His truth as well. If this is path intended, a solid foundation in Christ will allow a relationship to grow more beautifully than your heart can fathom.

Prayers for Gods Glorious will and for strength to keep moving toward healing in His truth goin up.


Peace n Luv in Christ,
Lani

[Piccolo80]

Hi guys,

I have been a bit preoccupied lately. I got more bad news from my ex and he let me know the whole truth of our breakup stems from the fact that he was actually "talking...interested in someone" since February. The whole time we were making our wedding plans, paying for things, loving, living, celebrating, and crying in church he was secretly with someone else. These past few days, I have dealt with such anger I can't describe it. I wanted to hurt him so bad. More so than he has me. I told him I wanted to destroy his life but it's not in me to do the things to him that he has done to me. I would've been fine with him dating someone now but to say that you had been doing this while we were together, while you were adamant about picking out wedding invitations while we were paying for our honeymoon you were cozying up to someone else hurt so much. I just never felt such anger before. Ever. I still feel some anger but as of today I'm not mad anymore. There is really no reason to be. The situation doesn't change anything. Our lives aren't changing our story doesn't change. I just need to move into an apartment, find a roommate, and move on with my life as I have been trying to do. However, things just can't seem to move fast enough. God is helping me every step of the way that I believe b/c there have been moments where I feel like I should've snapped yet I haven't. I know that at the end of all of this there is something better for me. Through all the pain, hell and torment, I'm gonna make someone the happiest person in the world and that is something I can look forward to. I also realize that it's not about finding that someone it's about my relationship with Christ and that is something I need to work on. I can't rely on someone to make me happy.