Christianity Oasis Forum

[jayney]

Step 10
Since beginning this programme as well as praying every night I have spoken to God at different times throughout the day and I feel a greater sense of peace. I have felt so different over the past 10 days since beginning this journey that it scares me. What if I can't see God's will and carry on making bad choices? WIll this peace disappear again?
WHat if I can't find a church that suits me? Will this be enough?
I have so much to think about but I feel that God is guiding whats happening. My husband and I have got along better this weekend than we have for years yet on the surface nothing has changed.
PLease keep praying for me to see the right path.
Thank you

[jayney]

Step 11
This step has made me feel good. I didn't really know much about the Holy Spirit but I love the thought of him being with me at all times and maybe even being able to hear him. I can't wait to feel the electric feeling down my spine.
I have had a difficult day at work today but have kept with this programme and have prayed a lot. When I got to work I sat in the car for an extra 5 minutes and listened to a worship CD. After this I felt ready to tackle to day.
I am sorry that this programme is nearing its end, I have learnt so much and have noted down my favourite scripture quotes.
I am trying to keep to all the steps, I did really well all day with not swearing but slipped a few times this evening. I will keep praying and trying.
Thank you God for bringing me here so that I can get to know you better.
J

[jayney]

Step 12
I found this step very comforting, to know that God knows I will fall but loves me anyway. I have sinned at times through my life, but I know how sorry I am and now know that God knows that too.
Today has been more of a struggle to resist the worldly stresses and strains. I was suspicious that my husband had lied to me today but I have tried to put this in God's hands and I have left it alone. I have felt very anxious this evening about a number of things.
I am fearful about coming to the end of this programme. As I am finding so much in this programme I am scared what Satan will attempt to turn me away from here?
I enjoyed reading about Paul, always my grandmother's firm favourite from the Bible, she always spoke fondly of him almost as if he were a close friend of hers. I have always seen my grandmother as my link with God, she passed on some years ago now but we were so close. She was a faithful church goer who attributed all her strength and coping to God, her father was a minister and her faith to me always appeared unshakeable.
Falling worries me but I have to trust in God to help me to get back up. I have taken time to talk to the Holy SPirit at times today.THank you God for bringing me here

[jayney]

I am saving the last 2 steps for a couple of days as the house is really busy and I like to take time alone to complete the steps without interruption.
I have been thinking and praying about an issue I have had for the past 2 years and am no clearer to seeing they way. I have been asking God to guide me and show me his will but the time can't be right yet.
I want to move house, where I am is not very nice, I am in a rented property.
The areas I want to move to we cannot afford. The only area we can realistically afford my husband really wants to move to. I don't want to go there because of my parents. I am very close to them, they are retired in their late 60's. They have always been so supportive to me and my children and we have always relied on them so much.
My husband is at times irresponsible and has once packed up and moved out(2 years ago) behind my back, without a word. I found out when I came home from work and he was gone! When times get tough as they sometimes do, unless I make everything ok he will move out. I am scared about moving away from my support network. My parents are not very sociable people so me and my children are really they only people they see. I am concerned that now they are getting older there will come a point when they will need me and I want to be there for them.
I am so torn over this, do I leave my parents and move a fairly long distance from them so that I can own my own home and keep my marriage on track and please my husband? Or do I risk my husband leaving because he hates where we are and not move and keep hoping something will happen so we can move nearer to where we are now?
I have tried so hard to see what God wants me to do but I can't. My husband doesn't see at all why I need to stay near my parents.
If I take on a large mortgage miles from my family and then something happens and he leaves, I will be in a mess.
Maybe God will show me his will through one of you on here?
THis is such an issue with my husband and I am so confused and uncertain.
Thank you for your help.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Jayney

God bless you this day.

I've been reading along with your posts, in this Forum and in others, and have been sending up prayers to our Lord, on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

Jayney, while it is lovely that you have a good relationship with your parents, have you considered that it is also similar to your husband's relationship with his mother? While it may appear that your parents are nicer and more loving, there is still something in your relationship with them that holds you back to fully committing to a complete relationship with your husband.

The Lord desires that husband and wife become one, united. While your husband may have made bad choices in the past, you need to forgive him and start afresh, believing the best for him and your marriage.

In another Forum you spoke of needing monies from him to pay the bills, and when you finally gave it all to him, he came took care of it. Perhaps that was just the ticket he needed you to show more faith in his ability to handle it -- forgetting any of his past mistakes -- and allowing him to act on his own as opposed to react to the any enforcer role you may have taken on. Notice, I said "may" have taken on.

Men want to be respected. Women want to be loved. Oh yes, both want to be respected and both want to be loved; however, God desires that the men be the head of the household. (Check out Ephesians 5:33) Meditate on that scripture with The Holy Spirit, I think you'll be amazed at what He reveals to you.

The Lord loves you, your husband and your children.

Prayers continue to rise, on your behalf. May God's blessed and perfect will be done.

God bless and keep you, Jayney.
Love,
Sister Mack

[jayney]

Thank you for your reply. You have certainly given me something to think about.
I have felt that I am responsible for my parents which due to limited funds leaves me little or no choice of moving house. In reality, my parents are financially comfortable and although they don't want to move house, they do have a whole range of choices.
I am restricted by finances, children's schools, both mine and my husband's jobs.
My father makes me feels guilty about this issue, last Spring I was all ready to move to where my husband wanted and my Dad made me feel really guilty about leaving them and how could he support me when my husband next lets me down if I am so far away.
I am in such an awkward spot, I love my parents so much and they have done so much for me but I also love my husband and selfishly I want the chance to own my own home, somewhere I can be proud of.
I have tried so hard to see God's will in this thorny issue but can't yet. I hope that when the time is right, God will show me the way.The only churches where I live are very old fashioned and I hoped that God would lead me somewhere that has a church where I will fit.
What does the bible say about my relationship with my parents? My knowledge so far is very limited but I am enjoying this journey.
THank you

[jayney]

Step 13
Its amazing that the words here resonated with all the things I am thinking about today. Fellowship? I met with a friend yesterday who is a christian and told her about this journey I am making. She was so happy for me and we talked for several hours about God and christianity and God's will. I came away with the same feeling of joy? peace? that I had a few times in the first few days of this programme. I don't really understand what this feeling is but I have never felt anything like it, its more than feeling happy, its lovely. Strangely she had woken yesterday morning and doesn't usually pray in the morning but felt the need to, while praying she says I kept popping into her mind. She is the friend that I have felt often in the past 3 years has been drawing me nearer to God.
Also, Love thy neighbour. My husband has gone this morning to spend time with his grow up children which has always been a thorny issue and I prayed this morning for God to help me not to feel angry and resentful but to send my husband off wishing him well. Which I did then came here to read Step 13 and read about Loving thy neighbour.
WHen I look back over the past few years I can see occasions when God may have reached out to me and instead I turned away when tempted by the enemy and sinned. I continue to struggle with accepting that God has forgiven my past sins and that I can move on past them.
I am talking to God several times each day, trying to build my relationship with him, listening to my worship CD's which I often find myself humming at times during the day.
I am still seeking guidance about my home, my job, but will keep praying and wait for God to show me the way either through someone on here or in another way.
Last day of the programme tomorrow which makes me feel a little sad. I still have so much to learn. I will begin another prgramme on here I think to continue my learning.
Thank you Lord for bringing me here

[Dora]

I love the way God works through this program. It's so cool. And awesome.

Don't be sad. There are others programs and studies to work through. Hope you jump into one of them next. If you need any help finding them let us know. Will be glad to help direct you.


God loves ya and so do I!

[jayney]

Step 14
I have so enjoyed completing this programme and plan to start the next one tomorrow. It all feels very new and tentative but I am keen to learn more. I know the enemy is battling with me as over the past few days whenever I have felt a real sense of peace I then get extremely anxious about sins from my past that there is no purpose me thinking about. When this happens I pray and wait for it to pass which it always does.
Throughout this programme God has supported me to lose the anger I feel towards my husband's mother, I am working towards forgiveness, I can't say I am quite there yet but I no longer feel angry. I am still seeking God's will in relation to my housing situation but when the time is right I am sure I will see what I should do.
I worry that life will get in the way of my learning and building my relationship with God, I really don't want to let this go as it all feels so right.
Thank you to everyone who has answered and encouraged and prayed for me.

[Dora]

Congratulations Jayney!!!

I'm glad to hear of the good God has brought you through this past few weeks.

God loves you and so do I!