Christianity Oasis Forum

[Mackenaw]

Hello Everyone,

Hallelujah!!! Thank You Lord.

I'm so excited to start reading this new Holy Spirit Inspired Study. I could sing 24/7 to my Lord "I can't get enough of Your love."

My hubby and I have been married 35+ years. We have a strong marriage. We both love the Lord so very much. He has blessed us throughout our married life -- even when we did not give Him much notice.

Marriage to not easy -- in fact, it's one of the hardest challenges I've faced, because it's the longest one I've encountered.

The last 3+ years have been the most enjoyable -- not because of any "things" but because we each individually chose to seek God with our whole hearts. And what is so interesting is that the last 3+ years, by the world's standards, have been the most devastating financially, materialistically and health wise that we ever experienced the previous 33 years.

God had a plan.

Over the years we fought hard for one another -- and at times -- against one another. We both made our fair share of huge mistakes. We both have hurt one another deeply. We both have been driven to the edge by one another, and we've stood hand-in-hand when life pushed us to the edge.

What I believe held us together, even when it looked as if the glue had long since dried up and could be swept up with a broom and dustpan and dumped in the garbage -- was our hope in love. When the answers, at times, seemed they would never make an appearance -- deep, deep, deep down there was the tiniest microscopic particle of hope. At times he would be led to find it, other times I would be led to find it.

It has been awesome to finally get to know the One Who led us to find the hope in love. He is Love.

Our marriage is not perfect, because neither of us is perfect. But that is one of the awesome things about God -- He is. He can turn the tide and calm the angry sea. He can renew a marriage just as He can renew a person. We both continue to love one another. Thank You Lord.

I can't wait to get started on this Study. Wooooohoooooo!

God bless you all.
Love,
Mack

[lizzie]

Aww Praise God sister mackles

God has to be the foundation. Cuz many storms will come.

May He continue to bless you covenant of marriage and lead your footsteps closer to Him.

Looking forward to your sharing as you progress with the program. Your posts are always a blessing to me

Love u to bits

[Mackenaw]

Hello

Hi Lizzie thank you for the encouragement and love.

I've read most of the Study. It is so sweet. I love the reminders. It is one of those Studies that feels right, I sense God in every aspect of it.

I had some chuckles out of a few of the suggestions of things to do together with my hubby. I won't go into any details as to what brought on the chuckles because it would only apply to what I hold dear and private. But, just wanted to confirm that Yes, God allows for sweet giggles.

That is something I sense is lost in so many of today's intimate relationships -- they are no longer intimate. Lots of laundry hanging out for everyone else to see and comment on.

Several years ago, a co-worker was telling me about a movie she saw and how beautiful the love scenes were. I remember saying I wonder how many people, nowadays, expect their intimate times with their spouse to look and sound a certain way based off what they've seen on TV or in movies. I offered up that our grandparents generation and generations before them, did not readily have access to TV and movies therefore, their sexual relations were possibly more natural and real than what many peoples' nowadays are. My friend's response was that education never hurts anyone. Hmmmmmm, Hollywood as an educator -- interesting concept, huh?

God is so good to address everything we need to know about love. He is love.

God bless you all.
Love,
Mack

[comfy]

Hollywood educating people about sex in marriage > well, I've read that homosexuals have had a lot to do with what Hollywood produces. I'm not sure I need homosexuals educating how I relate with my wife.

But don't we take in other productions, also made by homosexuals and therefore their mindsets' influence reaching through those productions?

Well, maybe who ever wrote that about gays in Hollywood was overstating their involvement. But, even so, people of the world are not the ones I need to have deciding and defining my life with my wife. I don't need to be conforming to this world.

And in marriage, each of us is unique, and so we can be *discovering* each other and how we become together. And I understand God makes us ONE in marriage, so we aren't really total individuals, any more, but part of each other . . . a new individual, of sorts, unlike ever before > we need to discover who we are, together (o: and find out how God has us doing things as a unique one with Him.

I love her and enjoy her, and am not who I was because of being with her. I like being better than I was by myself.

[Mackenaw]

More thoughts on marriage and God's plan for a marriage.

Hey Comfy -- I agree...bottomline, we need to consider what we are allowing to influence our lives -- individually and as a married couple.

There are many challenges that come with being married. Seldom is the impact of such challenges the same for the two participants (husband and wife). It seems one or the other gets more side-tracked than the other -- then the one who was less impacted must do everything within their being to stand for the two. This can be extremely challenging because the tempter comes and whispers all the more -- as if he is shouting, attempting to divide the two with the challenge.

If the two become one flesh because of the marriage union, then if one is really struggling and perhaps reacts -- not in a righteous manner -- the other spouse feels that too. Let's say you have a severely broken leg and the pain consumes you. One could say you miss your well leg tremendously. Well, it is sorta the same -- well sorta. If your spouse becomes so distracted that worry, fear or anger results, then the "standing" spouse misses the godly attributes of the distracted spouse. That in itself can contribute to even more trials for the "standing" spouse.

Well, if it were a lame leg, we wouldn't hit it or cause it more harm, we would tend to it and nurture it. Same goes for the distracted spouse -- patiently nurture them back with the love of God that abides within.

Thank You Lord.

God bless you all.
Love,
Mack

[comfy]

Thank you, Mack . . . and for me, especially, it would do me good to be humble about her problem and not be looking down on her and be critical >

"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass,
you who are spiritual restore such a one
in a spirit of gentleness,
considering yourself lest you also be tempted."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Galatians 6:1)

"He can have compassion on those
who are ignorant and going astray,
since he himself is also subject to weakness."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Hebrews 5:2)

So, this is so inviting and special and sweet, how I would just be loving and nurturing with compassion and a restoring spirit . . . . but why would I get worried and even nasty or ill-tempered, instead?

Because I could feel the pressure of her getting away, and dread how she could turn on me and be controlling > FEAR could have me impatient and in panic. So . . . I'd need to trust her to the LORD and how He says to labor to restore her >

"casting all your care upon Him,
for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

So, this would go for how I relate with my pastor and the guys in group, and ones I write with . . . so I don't fight with them (o: Thanks, Mack . . . this can help me with other than marriage, also.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Again

Hello Comfy, thank you for those scriptures, I can tell you understood what I was speaking of. Yes, it can apply to other relationships as well.

I wanted to expound a little more on the division aspect and the previous example The Holy Spirit gave me -- the one involving a broken leg.

Even though I have been married to the same man for 35 years, I do know that there are occasions where marriages end in divorce, because one of the two walked so far away from God that they started harming the other physically or emotionally. I'm not speaking of a one-time offense but of a chosen way of life.

I had a family member who had part of his leg removed due to it becoming diseased as a result of diabetes. Doctors treated the leg for 2 years; however, it became so diseased that it was threatening his life, and it had to be removed in order to save his life.

I know that this may seem a "stretch" in interpretation of scripture, but there is scripture in the Gospel of Matthew and Mark in which I feel The Holy Spirit has brought it to my mind in regards to some divorces -- specifically where one spouse is continuously causing bodily or emotional injury to the other.

Matthew 5:29-30
(29) And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
(30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Mark 9:43-48
(43) And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell into the fire that never shall be quenched:
(44) Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
(45) And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter half into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
(46)Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
(47) And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
(48) Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.

I do believe that some marriages were not meant to be -- or not God's will. The two were unequally yoked (either before marriage or during the marriage) and one was/is lives in fear for their life and are in jeopardy due to sin working in the other.

Divorce is not easy. Often the one whose life was saved feels guilty, maimed or halt. i just want to encourage my brothers and sisters that may have been unfairly judged by the world or even by the church because divorce saved their lives. God still loves you and you are His child. Pray for the power to forgive and move forward in His grace and love.

God bless you all.
Love,
Mack

[momof3]

wow...i love these posts. I too, believe that marriage is sacred. I also believe that the union between a man and a woman unifies and they become one. In reading the previous posts, and being divorced...let me tell ya....I faced the question....should i divorce? am I sinning? am i dividing what God had joined together. Lets look at it the other way around.......Did God join us together? No, my will joined us together. Had I been seeking the Lord's will and listening to Him and His answers, I would have heeded the warning signs that flashed a bright red.....stop.

In staying with hiim, allowing him to kill my spirit, and thus allowing me to kill his, I was not helping him to see God's will. I was allowing him to allow the enemy to kill steal and destroy what God had designed to be sacred. I allowed our actions to draw me away from the Lord..and thus started having conversations with the devil...the voices that haunted my soul, and led me away from the truth of who God had created me to be and the plan He had for my life. Tricky lil sucker he is..and he pulls all the stops, no holds barred. Bottom line....did God bless our union? He was never in it to begin with. He was never asked by either one of us to be in it. His blessing was not there, nor was it ever in His plan. Did He take the mess I made and turn it around? Absolutely. He opened so many doors through it that i cant begin to list them here other than to say that His love shown more brightly in the "cutting off" of the member that offended. He took the path I had led myself down, and straightened, healed and used it to open doors to more who were under the pharisee-ic thumb of the law...not the spirit of the law.....which the spirit has to be in to begin with.

I hope this makes sense.

i love you all.
in Jesus,
momo