Christianity Oasis Forum

[Lionhearted]

now, we cannot just instruct the men can we ....


Be very careful if you push your man to aggression, because God watches you do this.
The man gave up his rib for woman ~~~ Not his feet to have his power usurped ~~~ Not from his head to be belittled.
But from the inside of himself to receive respect, and next to the heart to be supported.

[momof3]

Amen sis. God bless you and thanks for posting this.

Love in Jesus,
momo

[Lionhearted]

oh your welcome momO!!

unfortunately i know from first hand experience how easy it is too push my man to this ...

i pushed him so hard once, much to my shame, that he put me up against the wall by the throat ... i learned much that day about the power i had in my marriage, and how NOT to use it.

sometimes marriage is just plain ole hard ... and the lessons come at great cost.

its much easier to talk the talk ... than walk the talk ...

luvu sis

[momof3]

ya know, sis....i believe with all my heart that one of the biggest problems today with families is that women want to "wear the pants" in the family.
(That's not to say that i think women should not wear pants ) However, when we take the power away from our husbands to be what God has instilled in them...to be leaders and heads of the family, we can single handedly destroy our families. God placed in each gender certain gifts and abilities to nurture and take care of our families..and we can get to the point where our "pants" are bigger than those of our husbands. Being a single mom of 3 boys, i can tell ya there are and have been soooo many situations ive faced that i was just not gifted in to handle. Roles have been reversed these days, sometimes out of neccesity, and sometimes just because we did not allow our husbands to be who God called them to be as far as heads of their families.

Now, dont take me wrong; for anyone who has had to divorce for one reason or another, God is Father to the fatherless and will always give you what you need. I look back at the last 15 years and see where God was always there, providing what we needed and then some...but we, as women of God and wives to husbands who have been called to lead their families, do not have the right to try to take their God given place away from them...it hurts them, belittles them, and causes them to doubt who they have been called to be in the Lord.

Lion, thank you again for posting this. Sis, Im not sure about your hubby placing his hands around your throat, and i hope that he too, learned to not get the that point of anger, but youre right...marriage is hard and takes alot of work. I hope that you both see each other through the eyes of God. Hoping that in those times we can all get on our knees and seek God's wisdom, will, peace and direction.

luv you tooooooo, sis!!!

in Jesus
love momo

[Lionhearted]

gm momo

you said

However, when we take the power away from our husbands to be what God has instilled in them...to be leaders and heads of the family, we can single handedly destroy our families. God placed in each gender certain gifts and abilities to nurture and take care of our families..and we can get to the point where our "pants" are bigger than those of our husbands.

after darrell got saved, we were able to discuss things more freely about the dynamics in our marriage. and one of the things he said was that, "i could "feel" the power shift in our home whenever you tried to take my pants off of me and wear them yourself"



and here i thought i was being so subtle ... subtle like a sledgehammer

anyhow, he continue, "you know, (he paused for effect) ... men don't cave from pressure ... we gird up; when you try and "take my pants" off of me ... my man armour gets thicker, and i hear you less and less" ...

so in effect he was saying ... "stop talking so i can hear you" ...

i know that it works!!! because i did ... and he does!! only God can do such things ... PTL

you know the kewl thing about his anger/rage thing momo ... thats one of the things the Lord used to call darrell ... this is how the Lord explained to me what i was doing wrong; it was not wise to get up in your husbands face ... thats exactly what He said to me; He continued ... you know your husband has rage ... why would you stick your hand in a hornets nest?"

now, i didn't agree with the Lord about this: i didn't stick my hand "IN" the nest ... i just poked at a lil with a stick ... looking back over 22 years, i see that there's no difference ... man o man i was sooo contentious even with the Creator

please don't misunderstand me: i'm not making a blanket statement for physical abuse ... and women "staying married"; i'm only sharing what happened to me personally ... my point is that darrell only physically abused me once ...i, on the other hand abused him for almost 10 years.

i've got a theory ... not in every case, but certainly a high percentage, in marriages, its the wife that gets called first; my theory is that we are "harder nuts" to crack then they are ... there is no way i would have put up with him doing to me, what i did to him ... adding the Lord in the mix .... naddachance ... i would have split ... God needed me to be bound to Him first ... before i would allow darrell to cleave to me.

i don't know if that clears it up for ya momo