Journey To New Hope
Posted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 10:30 pmI reflect back into my childhood and I can only remember bits and pieces of it. I remember more of the abuse than I do anything good. There wasn't a form of abuse I haven't experienced and each day I remember it because I still wear the battle scars. I live with illnesses, both primary and secondary illnesses, that remind me daily, of those years. Yes, those years were my living nightmares. Yes, even today, some people ask, how did you survive it? I had a secret. I had one thing in my life, that no one could take from me. That was Jesus Christ.
Jesus became a part of my life at the age of 5 years old. He never left my side from then on. The abandonment of my birth mother, the abuse of my step mother, father, sister, babysitters, neighbors, and strangers over the years, left me withdrawn and shattered. I was like a precious diamond in those days and someone had taken a hammer to me and turned me into dust after beating me over and over again.
By the time I was 13 years old, I went to go live my grandma and uncle. It was there I found some refuge from being the "child slave" I had been driven too. When being raped, not long before my move to grandma's, I began hating things and for years I couldn't admit it or own up to it. Self abuse became part of my life to get rid of the pain I was feeling. At least until I met my husband.
I was 21 years old when I met my husband. It was in unusual circumstances that only God could have provided for us. I still believe to this day because we weren't paying much attention to God, that He was going to do what it took to make us see one another and He did. I am so very thankful to Him to this day for what He did for us. What God had in store for me was more than I could have ever dreamed though.
We had been together for about 2 years, when Willie, (my husband) asked, why I always tore the pics of Lighthouses out of magazines, and turned the channel when there was one on tv, and why I always got sick around them in stores. When I told him my story about being raped and how the Lighthouses had been associated with it, I was amazed that he didn't think bad of me or put me down. Instead what he did next was to implement the power of God's love and hope in a way I had never seen before.
Willie worked nights and so one night he came home about 4:00 am and woke me up. He asked me not to get angry, but just to listen to him. He reached over and took this box off the night stand and beneath it was a Lighthouse Waterfall with fog horn and eagle sounds and Lights. I started weeping uncontrollably. He told me that he saw me like that Lighthouse. God is like that Lighthouse, He stands in the midst of storms, shines light to protect another, He has a beauty that we cant take our eyes from and He has a power in who He is. Willie said you have all those same qualities as this Lighthouse, all the same beauty, because of your faith in Him. These storms are only storms and He has protected you. Now it is time for you to stand up, stand tall, and listen to His calling you.
Over the weeks, months, and years to follow, Lighthouses are a very strong symbol of God to me. He carried me through all those storms and I am still standing and standing still in my Faith. My collection has grown to about 2000 now, many are amazed. Most are amazed at the strength and courage that my Lighthouse Provides me.
In memory of my late husband, March 5, 1999, I took a trip to the Rose Island Lighthouse. It was the most amazing trip I ever took in my life. I saw God in a whole new perspective and He gave me more than I could have ever dreamed. My God and Savior, Jesus Christ put me on a Journey To New Hope.
May God Bless,
P.S. I apologize for the lengthy journaling.
Jesus became a part of my life at the age of 5 years old. He never left my side from then on. The abandonment of my birth mother, the abuse of my step mother, father, sister, babysitters, neighbors, and strangers over the years, left me withdrawn and shattered. I was like a precious diamond in those days and someone had taken a hammer to me and turned me into dust after beating me over and over again.
By the time I was 13 years old, I went to go live my grandma and uncle. It was there I found some refuge from being the "child slave" I had been driven too. When being raped, not long before my move to grandma's, I began hating things and for years I couldn't admit it or own up to it. Self abuse became part of my life to get rid of the pain I was feeling. At least until I met my husband.
I was 21 years old when I met my husband. It was in unusual circumstances that only God could have provided for us. I still believe to this day because we weren't paying much attention to God, that He was going to do what it took to make us see one another and He did. I am so very thankful to Him to this day for what He did for us. What God had in store for me was more than I could have ever dreamed though.
We had been together for about 2 years, when Willie, (my husband) asked, why I always tore the pics of Lighthouses out of magazines, and turned the channel when there was one on tv, and why I always got sick around them in stores. When I told him my story about being raped and how the Lighthouses had been associated with it, I was amazed that he didn't think bad of me or put me down. Instead what he did next was to implement the power of God's love and hope in a way I had never seen before.
Willie worked nights and so one night he came home about 4:00 am and woke me up. He asked me not to get angry, but just to listen to him. He reached over and took this box off the night stand and beneath it was a Lighthouse Waterfall with fog horn and eagle sounds and Lights. I started weeping uncontrollably. He told me that he saw me like that Lighthouse. God is like that Lighthouse, He stands in the midst of storms, shines light to protect another, He has a beauty that we cant take our eyes from and He has a power in who He is. Willie said you have all those same qualities as this Lighthouse, all the same beauty, because of your faith in Him. These storms are only storms and He has protected you. Now it is time for you to stand up, stand tall, and listen to His calling you.
Over the weeks, months, and years to follow, Lighthouses are a very strong symbol of God to me. He carried me through all those storms and I am still standing and standing still in my Faith. My collection has grown to about 2000 now, many are amazed. Most are amazed at the strength and courage that my Lighthouse Provides me.
In memory of my late husband, March 5, 1999, I took a trip to the Rose Island Lighthouse. It was the most amazing trip I ever took in my life. I saw God in a whole new perspective and He gave me more than I could have ever dreamed. My God and Savior, Jesus Christ put me on a Journey To New Hope.
May God Bless,
P.S. I apologize for the lengthy journaling.
Thank you for sharing! 
