Christianity Oasis Forum

[dema]

Life has been going very well. Went to a spiritual study group at church tonight. Had dinner with hubby. Babysat two grandchildren last night. The littlest one makes me laugh. She is so funny - so delighted at so many things.

God is good. In every way life is lining up. I am ready for a year of bounty. Bounty in love and everything else.

[dema]

I went to a spiritual study at my church last night. In a skit, a priest is mad at God because two young people died - one of them his sister. He talks of yelling at God for hours. The mediator asked if God was there. And the priest confirms that definitely God was there. And then he continues talking about all the things he said and the complaining he did, and the crying.

And she asked if God left.

And he said that no, God didn't leave. That God listened the whole time.

I know I have felt like I might be certifiable in the past because I do talk to God out loud. And sometimes it is a conversation. There is a joke about it isn't bad to talk to yourself unless you answer back.

The conversation in this group included discussing guidance and hearing God. Not in a big way - just the way we talk about it here.

It is reassuring and stabilizing to know there is a great cloud of witnesses - and a great present crowd of believers - who hear God.

[dema]

I am glad people on this site tend to be open. If I have said something to you that has offended you, I hope you will let me explain. I can assure you that I meant positive.

I was very irritated - hurt, devastated - by several counselling experiences. They let my spouse verbally abuse me in front of them and gave us precious little advice. Of course, they might have needed to be rude to interrupt - but counsellors should have some control. And the way they are portrayed on TV... well, we finally got a good one who tells us things. Separately.

And I value being told things. If I have a problem, I Google it. I buy three books on Amazon and end up tossing one and reading one and skimming one.

So, a lot of times, what I say to you in an email is an Amazon/Google regurgitation applied to your situation - applied with prayer. I do pray a lot. But sometimes, well - me as well as everyone else, I guess - we don't hear so good. Ya know? Or we don't speak so good.

But, for me, I would like to have the information. Chew on it. And then spit it out if I don't think it works. Just like I end up tossing some of the books into the library book sale pile unread.

With counselling, my heart cries out, "Tell me something I can use - or at least ponder."

And I am following the Golden Rule with you.

Talk to me, please, if I seem to be hurtful. I never want to be hurtful.

And thank you if you have contacted me to find out what I really meant. I value that a lot.

[deetu]

I love you dema.... I like your frank ways.

My son studied Psychology as a major and said that his one professor wasn't accepted by the others even though his healing rate was higher. He believed in reaching the root and getting rid of it instead of drugging the person. Amazing, huh?

I took a course called Elijah House that was Christian counseling. Taught how to get to the root of the problem and have God heal it.

Not many counselors think this way, huh?

I know what you mean about books. I have a bunch and will read only a little of one and all of another. Seems like Holy Spirit will guide what should be read and have you understand.... what you were looking for.

I talk to God too dema... we all should. But we have to remember to stay and listen to answers. And then do what we hear That is sometimes the hard part... believing and doing.

Great to hear things are going along well. I wait for the day I can share God with my husband.


might want to check out this post
http://www.christianityoasis.com/Member ... hp?t=19208

[Mackenaw]

Hello Dema

God bless you this day.

I want to offer up a possibility as to why you have not received a lot of feedback and/or counseling. At least it is my reason. The "Called Christians Journals" are journals and/or diaries. It was never really intended as a counseling Forum, per say. It is the only Forum that the participants can choose to "lock" their posts. I have always locked mine, because I regard it as a diary that I can refer back, reminding me of various revelations and events throughout my walk with God, and where I was at that particular time.

Some choose not to lock their journal, and others have come along and left little messages, but those messages aren't really "counseling" as much as they are "hellos" and "it's good to see ya" type messages.

Dema, have you participated in any of the Studies on this site -- the ones that fall into the category of "Counseling" such as the COOL Confidential Christian Counseling Study (CCCC Study), or The Many Called Few Chosen Study? There are several other multiple-days studies offered here on this site too, and most of the multiple-days Studies have their own Forum in which to post a "blog" where others come along and lend Holy Spirit inspired counseling support and/or advice. There is also a "Virtuous Woman" multiple-day/step Study, and a "Spirit of Truth" multi-day Study, as well as many, many, many other studies -- all inspired by The Holy Spirit, which leads the reader to the blessed Word of God -- The Bible -- for the answers.

Dema, I've asked quite a few questions here but I also want to let you know that I am happy to walk along side of you, and prayerfully offer my spiritual support/counseling to you, by the leading of The Holy Spirit. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Dema.
Love,
Mack

[Dora]

Love you Dema all is well.

[dema]

Thanks Mack. I actually was referring to marriage counselling - that is the counselling that frustrated me. We go separately to the same counsellor now. It works.

Yes, I did finish both CCCC and the Chosen one. I am working through a Spirit one now - along with the various books and studies I get from my church and other sources. And someday I should go back to writing and sending out the devotionals I was doing for my email list. So many choices.

One thing that I have found, that this site really stresses, and I guess it is another current lesson in my life, is that slow is fast. Frequently, half a lesson or less on this site is a good dose of pondering and meditation for a day.

Things are good right now. Better than they have been since 2007. In every way possible.

I am thinner, I exercise more, I have more grandchildren,

My business is very much on the rise, I am enjoying the challenges,

I have this site and all the friends on it, I have more friends in other parts of my life,

And, my husband is travelling on the spiritual road with me now.

I think the journey throught the valley of the shadow is over for while. I believe I get to walk in fields of sunlight and daffodils for the next period of my life. I will try to hold onto compassion and humility, so maybe I can have more sunlight and daffodils than shadows and chilly winds. Brrrr. Don't like those.

[dema]

Today my husband and I went to Church and Sunday School. I discovered that the overly loud music was due to a particular speaker and if we avoided it, the volume is pleasant. I enjoy this service more than the other - particularly when I am not alone.

In Sunday School we had small groups and ours was my husband, me and our favorite pastor. We were supposed to analyze the story of the leper and the story of the Centurian in light of shame and guilt.

Veddddy Intewesting...

Lepers were considered to be afflicted by sin. And they were dirty and ostracized.

The Centurian was a Roman and both the Jews and the Romans would have been horrified at him talking to Jesus that way - hubby pointed that out. And he said that he was unworthy to have Jesus in his house. Another sign of shame.

So, here were two people who should have been, and maybe were, buried in shame as they faced the Master - and they both asked and received. That is an amazing thing.

Somehow they walked through their shame, or rose above it, something - in order to be willing to speak to Jesus and Receive. They received.

[dema]

Picked up a book that I am trying to finish to get on the shelf. Looked up the next verse. Decided to send it to my email devotional list. And all this stuff spewed out of my fingers. Goes along with the message last night. Funny how there are so many "coincidences" in the Christian walk. Here it is.

1 Peter 3:15-16 (New International Version, ©2010)
15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.



Know the Bible and be prepared.

But be gentle. Don't condemn.

Have respect. Don't ridicule.

What IS the goal? To defend yourself? Do you need defending?

To Defend God's honor? Does God need YOU to defend HIM?

When a sheep is misinformed, no matter how obnoxious, isn't the goal still to win souls? To give encouragement?

What about the observers? If you are sharp tongued and witty, will that encourage people to join you?

If you encumber the sheep with heavy rules - will you not be mimicking the Pharisees?

Be ready to tell about the hope that you have. Hope. Does it seem like you have hope if you are defensive and sharp and biting?

Oh, we hear it and hear it and hear it. People WANT to define God in their own image. They will say or do almost anything to keep from having to toe a line.

But, if we snap and bite and insist that we have all the answers - are we any better? Are we listening any more than they are?

Who did Jesus ridicule? The prostitute? The wicked tax collector? No. Jesus ridiculed the Pharisees - those who heaped rules. Who followed the letter of the law without love or hope.

Think of hope. Hope within you. Hope of what? What is your hope?

As for the end of the verse - when do you make others ashamed of slander? When you return bitterness and anger with love and kindness. That's when you make them ashamed. Turning the other cheek. Taking your enemy a casserole when they are sick. Then they are ashamed.

[dema]

Its' beena couple of weeks. Work is better. Husband has been to Sunday School with me twice. He's made a new record in anger management - got started the other day but when I pointed it out to him he stopped.

Work is blessed. Claiming the devil give me back from every attempt he made to steal from me. And he did attempt to steal. I've been tithing and I have the right to make those claims - you do too. If the devil, events that shouldn't have occurred, steal from you - then you claim that he has to give it back 5 or more times over. There are different passages with different multipliers. It is coming in now. Which means I need to work more. And I'm also doing more with Hubby - so if you don't see me as much, it's because things are going good. I am checking PM's regularly. If you PM me, I will get back to you soon.

Sunday School has a lot of homework.

[dema]

Had this come up in my homework:

Acts of cruelty and evil cannot be condoned or forgiven... Wehn we are the victims of radical evil, we are not asked to forgive the evil act. We are asked to remember thatn the perpetrator, even though trapped for now in the evil, is nonetheless a child of God.
Flora Slossson Wueliner


My thoughts on it:

I don't think that the person is a child of God if he hasn't repented. But I do think it is important to know that one doesn't forgive the act. One releases the person. I think one passes on the sin to God for God to deal with as is right. I think one just relinquishes one's own right to spiritual punishment - which really isn't releasing much because we never had the right to spiritual punishment anyway. So, the only thing we are really releasing is the one thing that wasn't ours in the first place.

We still can condemn the act.
We still can seek punishment in the legal system.

What we are doing is accepting that God's justice will reign. We are letting go of the notion that somehow we have a part in that justice on a spiritual level. We don't anyhow. Forgiving is just acknowledging that.

Anyway - everything below the quote is forgiveness according to Dema - take it or throw it away.

[dema]

I like this quote - still working on this Forgiveness book for Sunday School:

Neither is forgiveness a form of absolution...They must still answer for that they have done, to you, to society, to themselves, to God. This is up to them, not up to you... Only God gives absolutions - and only the sinner can seek it. William A. Meninger

From me - the thing that keeps coming back to me is that when we do not forgive, in most cases we aren't affecting the sinner or abuser one iota. We are only darkening our own heart. Only God can give absolution. And only God can give condemnation. Since we can do neither, our lack of forgiveness does nothing, and in most cases, our forgiveness frees only ourselves.

Forgiveness is relinquishing to God what always belonged to God in the first place. It is letting go to a claim that was never ours to make.

Forgiveness does not require us to not testify in court, to not prosecute. We can forgive and still go to parole hearings and request that the criminal not be paroled.

Forgiveness is relinquishing to God what always belonged to God in the first place. It is letting go to a claim that was never ours to make.