Choices and Lies
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:19 am
I wrote this after something that happened at a camp I went to over Easter
The devil’s attacking
Constantly unslacking
Attacking my being
Obstructing my seeing
Clouding my vision
Shadowing my mission
His hate is unbreaking
Always for the taking
Body hunched in fear
For I feel it near
Trapping all my thoughts
With the misery he’s brought
I don’t understand
Why the lies feel so grand
They are my beliefs
And I feel like the thief
I feel like the liar
So rubbish and tired
I feel like I’m nothing
He’s breaking my something
Throwing around my shame
Like it’s some sort of game
I’m nothing, I’m worthless
Full of my hurtfulness
Reminders of abuse
The times I was used
Reminders of wounds
Self-inflicted anti-truths
Reminders of hate
Trying to make me break
But I’m stronger than nothing
God tells me I’m something
He tells me I’m loved
And that He is enough
To satisfy my soul
The one who makes me whole
Restorer of worth
Carrier of hurt
The times when I was wrong
Don’t make me not belong
The times I was abused
Don’t make me worth less to You
You wash me clean
And this now means
I’m free to give
Alive to live
You died for me
To live life free
Hung on a cross
To save the lost
Your life You gave
Let me be saved
Engulfed in Grace
Set on fire by Faith
Your Mercy and Justice
Fulfilled as a promise
I love You so much
You’re always enough
And the devil will lose
For it’s Love I choose
The devil’s attacking
Constantly unslacking
Attacking my being
Obstructing my seeing
Clouding my vision
Shadowing my mission
His hate is unbreaking
Always for the taking
Body hunched in fear
For I feel it near
Trapping all my thoughts
With the misery he’s brought
I don’t understand
Why the lies feel so grand
They are my beliefs
And I feel like the thief
I feel like the liar
So rubbish and tired
I feel like I’m nothing
He’s breaking my something
Throwing around my shame
Like it’s some sort of game
I’m nothing, I’m worthless
Full of my hurtfulness
Reminders of abuse
The times I was used
Reminders of wounds
Self-inflicted anti-truths
Reminders of hate
Trying to make me break
But I’m stronger than nothing
God tells me I’m something
He tells me I’m loved
And that He is enough
To satisfy my soul
The one who makes me whole
Restorer of worth
Carrier of hurt
The times when I was wrong
Don’t make me not belong
The times I was abused
Don’t make me worth less to You
You wash me clean
And this now means
I’m free to give
Alive to live
You died for me
To live life free
Hung on a cross
To save the lost
Your life You gave
Let me be saved
Engulfed in Grace
Set on fire by Faith
Your Mercy and Justice
Fulfilled as a promise
I love You so much
You’re always enough
And the devil will lose
For it’s Love I choose