married but unhappy

[Dora]

Just you and your lap top. Make it just you and the Holy Spirit.
He wants to work with in you through this. And He can.

Some times things are to big to deal with or even admit to all at once.
So we can hide the root of our problems from ourselves.
Other times our mind is so focused on what is going on around us that we don't even hit the root at all as we can apply the counseling to our immediate situation.

When going over the steps again and again we can get to the root eventually.

Praying for you His will be done.

[Guest]

i left my husband last night.

[lizzie]

I am praying for you sister malou God is with you. If you feel like a talk, I am a PM away.

[mlg]

Prayers rising for you malou God's there with you..and will guide your path in this.

luv ya

[follower_of_Jesus]

Lifting up prayers for this sister of ours during this difficult time of her life, That god will remove all burdens and comfort you in this time of transition

[Guest]

I finished the 14 day path, felt better still trying hard to weed out the bad. I talk to my husband and layed out what i want. The only way I would go back to him is for him to sober. This high and low situation with him is getting old and I was already starting to get sick when I see him drunk. Sometimes I would really feel nausaeated and get a panic attack . After I told him that I felt better. He still calls me and tell me he loves me, i tell him i love him too but he needs to do something with his drinking problem otherwise I am not going back. Either I go back to him when he gets sober or I move on with my life alone. Right now I am not into a lot of stress, I miss my husband but I don't get lonely anymore. I sleep good at nite without the help of sleeping pills. and I am really glad for that. I have serenity despite what I'm going thru right now. Thanks to you all for the support.

[Dora]

Glad to hear you found peace.

Saying a prayer for His will in your life.


Love you!

[huelsingbroad]

and now for something completely different.
as a student of BIBLICAL counseling i have a different view. i believe that change is entirely possible but both of you have to commit to pleasing God and making this your top priority.
your husband is not an alcoholic and he does not have a disease. he is a drunkard. not a drinking problem, it is a sin problem. he doesn't need a dr or psychologist, he needs a savior.
you can't live to pls God and be a drunkard. biblical counseling can radically change your life and marriage. it is hard work and will involve a true commitment on your part to follow after Christ, even if you dont feel like it.
i just want you to know that you have another option available. you don't have to deal with this problem for the rest of your life/marriage. pray to God and understanding of truth in this matter. then, find a pastor who is willing to counsel with you from the biblical model. ours is a God of ressurection, that which was dead is now alive.
may HE open your eyes to behold HIS love, power, and grace toward you and your family

[realtmg]

I disagree to THE Bible scholar. I am a recovering alcoholic. Yes it is a sin and it is also a disease. Any Medical Dr. will tell you this. A chemical imbalance in their brain.The only way to over come this is The Want To. He has to have God to help him.
Tough love is the key. He has to want it for himself. Prayer does wonders.
I have 25 years of experience dealing with this and 7 treatment centers. Take it as one who has been there or one who has read about it.

You are doing the right thing at this moment.

GBU


Real

[vahn]

If I had a Dollar for each time I cried out to God "help me ! " , I'd be in my own personal yacht in the Bahamas somewhere .

The thing was , each time I asked , He answered , He got me locked up , put me in hospitals , got me kicked out , got me beaten , stabbed and being shot at , but no sooner that these things passed , I was high as a kite in an instant !

See , I forgot one thing ! I was asking God for help , and he was asking back "Help with what ?? "

It wasn't until I asked Him to help me stop drinking and to help me stay that way that , comes May , But for His Grace , instead of picking up a drink , I'll be picking up a twelve year medallion .


In Christ , our Lord

[Dora]

I'm a newbee when it comes to knowing about alcoholics, but one thing I have learned is I can call myself and alcoholic but you can't call me an alcoholic. With all do respect calling a womans spouse a drunk bothers me. Remember..."but the greatest of these is love." With out it we are just making noise. An unpleasant noise.

My experience is to admit you are powerless over alcohol brings courage to fight this battle, but to be called one brings anger. And honestly makes me want to find another drink. Maybe that's not so for some, but I do know for some it is truth. I don't know all the AA lingo and what the big book says. So I don't say much about the subject. Can only share what I know about me.

You are doing well on this path. My prayers are with you.
maloualdick Consider if your next step is to be found with in this link....
http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

Also know for an alcoholic taking a drink has nothing to do with lacking in love. He is truly powerless over it. Controlled by his addiction. There is hope in Jesus.

[havingfaithagain53]

Real and Vahn ~ WOW... you both hit it so right.. and VAHN... CONGRATS ON REACHING THE POINT OF GETTING THE MEDALLION!

I know it hasn't been easy for either one of you, but through the GRACE of GOD he has helped you all the way! So, take this MAL and realize there is ALWAYS HOPE for your husband. You are definitely doing the best thing in making him realize what he has to lose. If he says "He loves You" ... believe him! He does! If one thing I have learned about addiction~ is that when you are the one who has it... you truly are going through a lot of different pains and sufferings too.

He DOES need to get help as well as he NEEDS HELP FROM GOD. These kinds of addictions are as Real says... CHEMICAL ADDICTIONS.... as bad as HE may want to quit... he CAN'T w/o the help from the LORD first and others next!

And here is the tricky thing for you.... YOU CANNOT MAKE HIM FEEL ABANDONED... you haven't yet... and that is great.... but you need to let him know (as you said you have already) that you do LOVE HIM. You LOVE HIM but HATE HIS ADDICTION~ and you have to do what is the best for you too. Knowing it wasn't helping you in being with him, you chose to leave to help YOU out as well... You have to know you did what you should have... if you would have stayed, it could have meant you ended up HATING BOTH HIM & GOD!

So, keep doing what your doing in growing stronger everyday with the Lord and HE WILL let you know what to do and say everyday. And YES there may be a time that you do have to let go.. but.. don't look for that answer just yet. I always say... turn the situation around.... so do this for a second. How would YOU want someone to treat YOU if YOU were HIM? How do you think YOU would be feeling right now? That's why you have to SHOW HIM the LOVE OF THE LORD no matter how your feeling. In doing this... You will have HEALING also!

I'm praying for you and BELIEVING that the LORD will keep guiding your path and giving you the PEACE in doing whatever needs to be done.
We all love you and care for you here. Our hearts are with you!

Love ya.... Linda