12/ 2

[vahn]

Well, here I am.
'Though something was, and in fact still is, holding me back from continuing to go through all this , I thought it would only be fair for me to say , that should I find myself succumb to that "something" or notion, I do not for one iota find fault w/OASIS , or any other person, place or thing ,that tried and still are trying to do the best they can, to help another "confused" soul like mine , the score result @ step 12 speaks for itself the meaning of "By their fruit ye shall know them". It shot up from 60 to 80%, which leaves no doubt in my mind , the tremendous effort and dedication you guys put into this, producing outstanding results , and for that I am forever indebted to you w/all the gratitude I can muster up.

It is purely of my own situation that I created myself a position that I'm not so sure to be able to fill due to my whatever the case may be, whether it's heardheadeness or intolerance towards people who keep insisting on THE WORD meaning something ELSE than what it IS, just so that it'll fit their own agenda in life.

THAT, my friends, is the exact reason why I ended up here in the first place ! My deepest fear was NOT (which by the way I found out through this prog.), that I would get hurt , saved or go to hell for that matter ! that I was afraid of, didn't care less, as long as it was God's will, it was more than fine with me, so be it.
It's the fear of transmitting some thing to another that would otherwise be helped more sufficiently, or worse yet, by my saying something might jeopordize their opportunity to find & grow in TRUTH w/o any added confusion on my part or even die w/o finding it alltogether !

At this point I would like to make myself clear of the reason why I am continuing to add to an allready lengthy post.
It's the very reason that got me to this point that I'd like to point out to the next person who happens to stumble upon this page , to Not do as I , just simply ignore to what's been said here and move on with your Growth, this is only my stance at things, right or wrong its still mine ok?

See, what happened to me yesterday was, browsing through others' posts I came across a lot of other issues that dont even have to do anything with either God,Bible ,Jesus, or the Walk, Path or Way, whatsoever ! and that is perfectly OK ! For God only knows I got here that way myself !! My peeve is the fact that those individuals , try to twist,explain, and rationalize their own behaviours which got them to search to begin with then having found the TRUTH , turn around and twist,explain and rationalize the WORD to others the way they see fit to meet their own wrongs, by saying something like "see, its in there" !!
Yeah it IS in there ,but that is NOT what its saying !!

For example, just an example , then I'll shut up, but before I write another word , please allow me to stress the point that I have no particular stance on what people do in their own "private" lives.
One instance , one of many, stood out like a sore thumb was one individual trying to mix their sexual preferences with Scripture, HeLLOOW!
What does Scripture have to do with your bedtime stories ? isn't it clear to you yet that there are two DIFFERENT sexes out there that starts from the very begining , in Genesis or did you just "missed" it ! and doesn't the word sodomizing derive from Sodom & Gomorah ? even to the point when someone turned to a pillar just by LOOKING at it ? Did that happen because it was pleasing to the eyes of God ? and yet they still turn around and WRITE for all to see that THEY are the ones who are write but NOT Scripture ! and this is just one example, the list goes on, just substitute the pet project, whether it be drugs, spouse, gambling and what have you!

I'm finding myself getting worked up again , and THAT my friends is not why I came here for .
If I was to choose from Three titles for this # 1 being , "keep it simple" , # 2 "let the Bible say what the Bible has to say - not your interpretation of it", and # 3 " the Bible was meant to change the man- not the other way around ! " I would probably choose all three !

So long my friends, May God bless you and keep you, untill then !

[mlg]

You know vahn, that's why God needs people like you and I, to help bring Truth to these souls who are so caughtup in the twisted lies Satan is telling them regarding the Truth. If you know Truth and refuse to share truth, because you are upset or angry with them...then what does that make you?

See we aren't here to judge others and what they say or do, we are to stay with them and guide them. Yes sometimes they will get mad at us, because as we know the Truth hurts....especially when it tells us we are doing wrong....but you walking away now that you have received the lessons and have grown to 80% instead of staying and trying to reach these lost souls...what do you think God is thinking of this vahn? You have to sacrifice self...that means your own emotions and thoughts....and totally submit to God so He can use you. See your worried about what you will do or say wrong, but in reality...you know that it's the Holy Spirit who will speak through you, if you allow Him too...and that is what you need to trully work on doing. It's not about you, or me, or any other person...it's about Jesus and helping Him to reach those lost and dieing souls of the world. Don't be selfish....it's time for you to start giving back.

Hope you know how dear you are to me my friend.

luv ya lots

[vahn]

I just simply dont know anymore , whether to say ,do or not say & do .

May be if I were to let a little more truth about my self , you will find out I am with 100% in agreement w/you and all others that are doing the same thing and the same way as you.

See, mlg, my friend, I'm a survivor of a suicide attempt . Do you or anyone else think that I'm afraid of losing my life ?
Isn't it obvious that Some One Knew different ? Especially, when it wasn't the Medics, or the hospital or doctor that brought me back to "life" but it was another "Drunken Bum" like me which today I choose to call "sponser" who in turn, reintroduced me to "this Some Thing" that we both choose to call God that drew him to where I was at the time . he had no biz for being there whatever.

Do you see the guilt ? of not being able to return the favor is what's eating me up nothing less, nothing more ! It is not an accident that I had learnt all this , and its definitely not to save my own ... Its how to do it save another's , just like I was saved , in Truth and Devine Providence . Not by intellectual mumbo-jumbo, or knowledge or education !

Now how do you transmit that !

[mlg]

I call that a testimony that God wants you to use to reach out to others who are where you have been. See my friend, I want to share a story with you, in hopes that you will come to understand why God needs you so much. I lost a friend here one night in this chatroom to suicide, because she came here and noone would talk to her or share with her. She left and ended her life that night. See it's not about us vahn...it really isn't...it's about what God wants and can do with us. It's about that lost soul who comes here seeking something to tell them why it's best not to go ahead and end their life tonight. It's about you having been there, and knowing that God can bring them joy and peace and that He wants them to live. That He wants to be their best friend. That He forgives them of their past. See when God forgives our past, He forgets it as well. It's Satan who uses it against us over and over....like he is doing with you now. Making you doubt who God is in you...Satan's laughing at you today vahn. So get up and fight, and reach out to another hurting soul who needs to hear how much Jesus loves them.

luv ya

[vahn]

The thing I admire most about you mlg , is your perseverence and you know what ? It paid off. I learnt, by listening to you , although not the way I wanted to , not to make hasty dicissions when angry, mad , sad or otherwise , just be still , & let the "storm" pass , then think, after what the Father said " Be still, know that I am God"

Well I decided I at least owe you that much , so I decided to put everything off for today be still .... I said I decided , didn't say I tryed right? Be still ? who me? so I go on browsing again (my idea of being still is bite the hair off the dog that bit you) Guess what I found ? A forum hosted by realtmg called real solutions , which is right up my alley (alley ? - dont answer that ) it deals with recovery from alcoholism & drug and other addictions using the 12 steps of AA .

I see some jabs coming , time to play ostrich !! but with jabs like that I dont wanna duck , hope you never tire from them !

[mlg]

uh huh...seek and ye shall find....we all have a place we fit in...but when we are trying to do the leading...we fall...but as you did...you decided to be still and let God be God and look where He led you....to the real solutions forum....a place where He knows you will be able to help others.....so glad you decided to fight the good fight and to keep moving forward, instead of letting Satan continue to sit on you.

luv ya