my MCFC blog

[Mackenaw]

Hello Goldie

I think some need to be medicated, until God heals them.

Remember the man in the Bible ...

Mark 5:2-5
(2) And when He was come out of the ship, immediately there met Him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,
(3) Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:
(4) Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.
(5) And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.

This particular soul was so troubled and so bound by evil spirit(s) that he needed to be protected from himself, and kept apart from others.

Medication if a much kinder way of keeping someone from harming themselves and/or others.

We can still pray for a soul whether they be on medication or not. And if led by The Lord, lay hands on them for a complete healing. God's will be done.

Medication, prescribed by a qualified Physician is not the enemy nor is it ungodly. God will give us discernment on finding a qualified physician. God heals. I also believe that if God healed someone of something that they were taking medication for, He would let them know.

I like this scripture too:
Hebrews 5:14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised (trained) to discern both good and evil.

God is all about training and teaching us and our senses.

Remember this song lyric? See me, feel me, touch me, heal me.

God bless you, Goldie.
Love,
Mack

[mlg]

Goldie, yes I agree you are ordained, and God has set you in the place He wants you to be...if not, when you were asking for that job transfer and you got it....you wouldn't have if it wasn't all in God's plan...so that being said...I'd like to share with you a bit about those people you all are treating...

I don't believe anything happens without God in control. God is leading those souls to the clinic where you work, because He knows they need help and can get help there. Yes it often means they need meds, but I don't think that God would lead the souls there, if He didn't know that this is where they need to be to get His help. See God can use meds to heal. If God were to say this is just Spiritual healing these souls need, then He will lead them to a place where they can get that healing, such as here at the Oasis etc.....so sis, just have faith that God is in control, and He is leading these souls to the place which He knows He can best touch them with His healing hands...whether it be the clinic you work out, the Oasis, the local church, or the local Salvation Army....God has the best interests of every soul in His will and way.

Keep at this sis, your doing so well. You have such a very special gift.

luv ya

[goldieluvs]

ty mackles and mlg Ok i really sorta did step 7 yesterday. Having not slept well past two three four (lost count at this point) days, i figured HS deserved some contemplation and a clear mind (which i confess i still don't have a real clear mind) I much like the idea of HS being my friend and hanging out wif me. I never tried the chair thing.

I used to think i talked with God all the time, now i think its HS talking to God for me and I'm talking with HS. (i think) sorry my mind is so clouded. I know this is important.

On Evicting Evil wow i must say the Christian Music really works! Last night i went into Let Go Let God. Well was talking about unforgiveness and giving it all to God, not taking it back. I think most everyone who has spent any length of time talking with me or reading my posts knows of the struggle around Goldie. Why do i cling so tightly?

Been giving that one some serious thought and went to bed last night and wasn't able to sleep yet again. Kept thinking about all these animals getting hurt and feeling like i was posed to help em. Started crying, so i came here and put on some music, started singing in shout. It did bring much needed peace.

Then i was like ok was gonna try not closing eyes asking HS to guide me into what He wanted me to hear and try to bring understanding to my heart and mind. Didn't open my eyes and just flipped open my bible and pointed then opened them.

I found myself at Nahum 1:11-13 Though they are safe, and likewise many, Yet in this manner they will be cut down when he passes through. Thoug i have afflicted you, I will afflict you no more; For now i will break of his yoke from your, and burst your bonds apart.

Wow cool awesome infact.Not about the many part, but breaking my bonds. Then i started reading more. Must say next verse dropped me, talking about idols. I started thinking what idols am I holding onto. And while i dunno much about idols, i think perhaps that idols are anything we put above God. Though i wonder cuz i dunno if i always put anything above God, though i sometimes do. Mostly emotions i think. Such as worry ( even though knowing God is in control). Guilt (which i do carry some guilt, even though I know God has forgiven me) In particular over Goldie. Yeah she is a constant in my life. i carry her in my heart. I still cry over her. A very kind friend told me that Goldie was my angel and in many ways i think maybe she was cuz it was her death that brought me back to God. It wasn't right away, but it certainly was the beginning to the end of my self destruction.

Yet there is still the guilt. And maybe i am confused about this one so maybe ya'll can share some knowledge with me.. i do hold onto her. And i do still cry, but i cannot imagine not being saddened when i think of her. And then i think if i let go of guilt, will i let go of her too? And then i think if i let go of her, then i gotta let go of her name. But i have always been Goldie online no matter where i was, before her death. When i first started traveling through this cyberspace. And do i have to give up her name? I don't think about her all the time. But i know it is something i have to forgive myself for.

The enemy has been coming hard and fast on me for past few weeks now, bringing in confusion, anxiety and pain. Those are NOT of God. God is LOVE. God is PEACE. I think maybe, just maybe I am on the precipice of something to where i will walk closer with God and open up to Him and let go more of me, so the enemy comes a callin. I know God is in control, but boy am i missing that peace i used to have. I know i will have it again. I know the enemy will not win. Jesus said it.. John 16:33 These things i say to you, that in Me you may have peace. You will have trials and tribulations but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

Now I know i gotta CHOOSE to let God work. It is NOT me. I HAVE to let go of self in order for that to happen. God will not FORCE me. Just experiencing some growing pains I may have gotten a lil off topic here, but i also think if I am going to grow. I gotta be honest about the things going on both in and around me. Also i haven't been following the chart that was made in Step 3, but it will come. Some things on it I do anyways. But if i were to score myself since starting Step 3 i would flunk. So, instead of feeling defeated, am not going there for now. Gotta clear up some of this turmoil and confusion right now. Course maybe that is the way to do it. Hmmm. ok well i typed enuf i think.

[deetu]

hi goldie,
I truly believe that the enemy attacks right before you have a growth with God to try to discourage you.
You tell him to leave you alone in Jesus's name. As soon as those thoughts try to come in, toss them out.

And about Goldie... you have to forgive yourself or you will continually allow the enemy to keep you in bondage. Goldie didn't leave you, she left that mess of a person that was there. And now that you are back, don't you think her little doggie heart wouldn't forgive you. Holding on to that guilt will not bring her back but letting go will free her... because then you can remember her without the pain.

[mlg]

Goldie I see that you really know what to do, but now it's a matter of doing so. Spend time truly allowing Him to work within you. Every day is a new day, so make it one more fresh start, trying to make it a day filled with joy for Him.

Holy Spirit is our comforter and the one who is within us that fills us with God. He brings about change, and He understands when we don't. He wants to bring peace through the hard times, and joy always. Keep seeking sis, you are doing well.

luv ya

[xxJILLxx]

when i read your popsts i see so much desire to get past these things and so much growth!

sis it is beautiful what you are letting HIm do through you, and your posts are so encouraging .

I love u goldie

Gbu
♥Jill

[goldieluvs]

Ok i tried to finish the studies for step 8. Gotta confess, cant concentrate to be able to absorb. Saw a post in cool christian counseling about choosing to following the steps daily every day. Guilty i am of not following steps daily. I believe have learned much from this study even tho i not finished. Do i start over? If i wait til my brain functions normal again where i can concentrate, well it might be awhile to have 14 days straight. Convicted i was. Too tired to think about it now. But point i think is being honest bout it. i REALLY wish my brain wasn't so foggy.It is not fun or pleasant to not be able to focus on anything. Am exhausted and unable to sleep. SLeep important to help brain work properly. I can focus for about five or ten minute then its like brain freeze. At work this morning i couldnt even remember wat day it was. Sad part is its Monday how could I not KNOW that?.So, do i start over? or do best i am able to do? Undertand it is a CHOICE and a COMMITMENT. Wanna complete it, really i do.

[mlg]

No goldie you don't start over sis, you continue on just rest a day here or there and move on. Once you finish the steps you can always come back and do them again to see what you may have missed.

luv ya

[goldieluvs]

ty mlg Ok having had more sleep last nite than i have had in awhile i am feeling a lil more focused. I reread step 8 talking about spiritual gifts. then went into the studies on wisdom, prophesy, speaking in tongues and dreams and visions. I may have to redo this step.

Im thinking God has given me talents, and gifts. I think i can relate well to people and can pick up on certain feelings, etc without them even knowing, like one time when i worked inpatient and doc left for a couple days and came back and talked about his trip to Charleston, I sat there a minute (ok yes this is the doc i still have and go to tomorrow) and then i just looked at him. And then i told him he wasnt allowed to leave. He looked a lil shocked and just said ok. He had never even mentioned he had thought about leaving. Later, i found out he HAD considered leaving, but had decided against it.

I think God's gifts to me come in being real and open to people and relating to people where they are. Understanding people and realizing that we are all pretty disgusting at times. Humanity is depravity at times i think. I get lots of things wrong. I don't think i speak in tongues. Tho the bible says even when we dont know wat to pray for to pray anyways cuz HS will pray for ya, So maybe that is praying in tongues and i imagine at times that has happened wif me. Visions and dreams, well.... not sure... will have to pray about that one

Point is i think we all have been given gifts from God, we are to use those gifts to help others see Him. It isn't about us, it's about Him. So, keeping on and trying, falling down getting back up. God provides and God lights the way even when i don't see it.

Oh and if by any chance recognizing that i am brain challenged at the moment if im off target just holler at me, pm me or sumthing and i will redo this step. May redo it anyways. Just not today.

Luvs u all

[mlg]

Sis, sounds like you may have struggled with this step a bit. You've got the idea that God gives each of us gifts and they are different for each person to help make up the Body of Christ. Your gifts are unique sis, and He wants to teach you to use them well.

God also reveals new gifts to us as we need them. So watch for what else He might show you...told ya this would be an exciting journey

Your doing great.

luv ya

[comfy]

Point is i think we all have been given gifts from God, we are to use those gifts to help others see Him. It isn't about us, it's about Him. So, keeping on and trying, falling down getting back up. God provides and God lights the way even when i don't see it.

Our gifts are to use "to help others see Him."

Yes, this is for me. My real gifts are not for status.

Rest and discover > "striving according to His working
which works in me mightily."
(in Colossians 1:29)

[goldieluvs]

ok moving on to Step 9, will prolly go back to Step 8 but for now gonna push ahead and boy all i can say is i needed to hear it. Judging others. OUCH Did that today. I have a person on my team who sorely tries my patience. Well, i got really frustrated with this person today and i gave instructions but they weren't followed (being team lead i am supposed to be supervisor) ok. well they knew i was mad, even tho it was just over the phone. And i said never mind I would go out and handle it tomorrow as they said they did not have time and this is a constant source of irritation for me and probably them as well. When you are in a position of helping others you simply just cannot take someone's word when u r responsible for helping with meds, etc. Well they were like well we are handling it arent we, i said it will be tomorrow and that i would take care of it. I did explain that because we are a team that any team member should be able to pick up on any person and jump in regardless of situation and if that wasn't happening then we needed to do some more planning They wanted reassurance, I gave none. I was SO angry.

Ok keeping in mind i had to do the doc thing today (trust him so will try the new med, even tho i dont like that particular class of med) ok well i got more and more irritable. I finally just called my supervisor and left him a message saying i was going home to finish there as i just had to get out. I did not say why, but in talking with a friend i just went totally off about this person and their seeming inability to comprehend job duties.

So, i came home so as to get away from the environment, I was a lil worried if i saw him i might actually start screaming at him. No win situation there. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. So, yeah i fell down. Yeah i get that concept real GOOD. I fall ALOT. God helps me get back up tho. I can't say that i have peace tonight although i wish with all my heart that I could,, but i will say Thank You God and Praise You cuz regardless of this wretched wreck that is typing this, Jesus has me covered. So, tonight i rest, tomorrow is a new day. Will start this new med tonight. Was last thing i wanted to do, but realized i had to be honest about everything. Then kept saying don't put that in my chart . Like duh knowing he was gonna put it in my chart. Cuz i would've had to if it was me getting the information. I encouraged him to come here and see for himself wat is taught here.

So, time to get back up. Keep on a keeping on.