day 4 / 2

[vahn]

I dont know why is it that I always think of a need to come up w/ a title of some sort evrytime I start writing something . and today, after reading & reflecting on #4 I ended up w/ at least 4 titles. If I had to choose, I guess it would be something like. DEFENDING MY FAITH, - I DONT HAVE TO (anymore).
Once I made cross-over point 'tween Belief & Faith and saw some unexpected results, I just let the RESULTS speak for themselves ! And if they cont. on telling me otherwise, I just get back at them with something like "OK, you're right & I'm wrong, but my question for you is, ' if I'm wrong , what reason would you have talking to me, is it your habit to talk to "Wrong" people ? ' ".
My Beliefs, I may have to explain or defend, my Faith, never !
If someone was to ask me of a "person"s ability to cross over Niagra Falls on a tight-wire pushing a weelbarrow, I Believe "he" can do it, But Faith is about my ability to jump IN the the 'barrow and trust that I WILL get to the other side, and once there, I dont think there's need to speak another word, is there ? .

The other "title" I was thinking of was, (custom written for me) in the step itself, cpy/paste ...

I will tell you this TRUTH ...
People may end their friendship with you because of your Faith.

I simply could not agree more with that sentence, for it DID end one relationship w/the mother of our daughter in the past, and almost ended my friendship with my daughter as well recently .
Not long ago, my daughter came back from enrollment interview w/collage officials, big smile on her face (which made my heart sink) for at the time I had other plans. That aside, my eyes caught sight of a cross she had put on that day (It was more like a "Heavy Metal" symbology than anything else) that added to the "disappointment" of her "Good News", I just found myself going balistic/no holds barred "conversation" w/her ("sit-down-dont-move-til-we're-done-talking), was as polite as I could get,at the time. In the midst of the storm I heard her say, (more like yell) "You & your God ! First you drove mom out of your life, now you're trying to run mine by it ! " , that ended the conversasion that eve.

I am painfuly aware of the fact that I should've written this episode 3 or 4 days ago when it happened, but I simply did not where or how to start, for at the time so many other things were going around in my life, parts of which I did manage to put in 2 or 3 words of, but that was out of sheer dedication to following the course of the Path, (getting by, by just scratching the surface).
Little did I know that, todays stp. 4 would put everything in proper perspective. See, what happened was, 'twas seeing the cross being misreprisented like that was more the issue than anything else (which,by the way, I can write a whole page on,or might even end up doing so-its my page after-all right? u dont have to read it).
To me , being born & raised in Lebanon, which by the way the Only christian country in the whole arab world , yes even Israel itself ! The sign of the cross always represented the most painful, humiliating,excruciating form of execution man can go through , and by constant display of it w/o having any idea of how to explain the meaning of it in the Spiritual Realm, I find it completely offensive. I remember gramps, taking us (brother) from Leb. through Palestine, then Israel, yes on donkeys, showing us places where our Lord had walked, stayed, delivered His sermon on the mount by the "lake", as children, then coming to the "hill o the skulls" so he called it, I remember him saying something that rings true to this very day in my ears, "They (jews) killed the man once, and we(chritians) kill him everyday by wearing a cross !" and he cont'd, " listen kids dont ever celebrate His death, but rather celebrate His rising above it, for God never wants ANYONE to die let alone His own Son, dont take no for an answer, for even if they kill you, be like Him and you'll come back ".
I told that to my daughter for the first time, in fact I had never told that to anyone before, till now.

Yesterday, comming back from my presentation, daughter asked me if I got the account, sorta like fingers crossed kinda way, told her yes, she said "dont you have a mtg. to go to tonight ?" ... after the mtg I see this laptop that she'd gone & bought while I was at the mtg. (on my account,of course) I said what's this? she said "I can take correspondent courses from maine through this" I said "no you stay ,I keep the laptop, I can can do my work on-line"
This morning, she was gone somewhere or other, on my other computer where I do my graphic work, she had left the cross on my monitor with a note saying " See if you can come up w/a symbol for conquring death" .
I think we're having Fish for dinner tonite !!

Luv y'all and thank u for bringing me to this point of my life .
May God bless U & keep U

[mlg]

You know my friend, if there's one life worth fighting the devil over at this time, it's your daughters. Don't give up. She's beginning to see a little tad of a light flickering beneath the shadows. She's becoming curious. Feed her some fish my friend and then give her a little taste of that Holy water you've been cooking on the stove for weeks now. You might even make some nice tea out of it or something.

Glad you opened up and shared with us today. I will be praying for your daughter. Just remember you are her best witness at this time, so walk like Jesus and let Him shine through you.

luv ya

[vahn]

A bit difficult even hard to do sometimes, considering the fact that I wasn't even "there" the 1st 8 years of her life, and only got full custody the past 6 , and with all that confusion and deep influence of her mother's (and mine) confusion fueled by alkie/addict lifestyle , makes it hard for anybody to digest "miraculous conversion" so to speak. It was for me !?!
But its only 4 me that it is hard, not 4 the Father.
"It is not I that doeth the work, but the Father, with him ALL things are possible"

Thank U again 4 the encouraging words !

Now ,what's the recipe for boiled fish !

[mlg]

The reciepe for boiled fish is season with love, add some Holy water and turn up the fire until refined. Then eat of the meat.

Keep your head up my friend. Remember just because the past is there, doesn't mean that you should let it hold you back in trying to witness to your daughter. Use the past as an experience to share with her, and show her what a beautiful future God wants her to have.

luv ya